I couldn't do that, no.
Be careful not to confuse abstinence with control. Your life is immeasurably better because you've removed alcohol from your life - not because you somehow were gifted with control.
I truly believe alcoholism is a progressive condition.
If you drink again the adds are you'll not only go back to where you were but worse.
Don't lose your mind over this CH - stay true - maybe re-read some of your old threads?
D