tomsteve

although science may have discovered more on how alcohol effects the body, its the same effects as it was 1000 years ago. the mental and emotional effects are also the same as they were 1000 years ago.

even though we can learn the effects, that doesn't give us a solution.
elimination of drinking is only the beginning, no matter what recovery method is used.

I still get amazed how a book published 28 years before I was born describes me.

sweetichick

I went to AA tonight with a different attitude. Instead I saw them as a group of people like me trying to stay sober. It was a big shift.

Dee74

D

theDipsomaniac

Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly.......they will always materialize if we work for them

Scruffanie

Hi Sweetichick,

That is great that you had a different perspective

It took me a little while to come round to the idea that I had a 'disease' (I'm 53 days sober). It felt like a cop out to me. But the more I think about how myself and all the other AA members talk about how once we had one drink it was never enough, the more I began to think maybe there is some science behind our reaction to alcohol. I know many people who can just have one and others who simply don't drink...and they're not thinking about not drinking...they just don't. So I have to wonder...why can they leave it but I can't? So I have to conclude there must be some truth in The Doctors Opinion.

My sincerest best wishes are with you and whatever method you choose for successful sobriety

Scruff xx

Mentium

Me too when I returned three weeks ago. Although I attended meetings for a year up until I didn't - as it were - a year later, I don't think I really ever accepted Step One. I held on to the apparent fact that I was 'not as bad as some of those guys' despite the fact that I was unable to go one single day without drinking no matter how much I seemed to want to.

I'm embracing the program this time around, within the limits of my own religious beliefs (or non-beliefs should I say). It already feels more real to me - and nobody is forcing me to believe or do anything I don't want to.

tomsteve

good on ya!!

i found that relating and looking for similarities helped me.

August252015

Glad to hear it. What are you up to today?

january161992

StartingOverNW

sweetichick - its great that you had a good experience there tonight. It really can be a great place to get sober and stay sober.

I would also like to add another note to my earlier post in this thread. While some aspects of AA are difficult and sometimes triggering for me, other times the experience is absolutely wonderful. Today would be a good example - I went to the sunday morning meeting I've gone to for the last few weeks, was hugged by someone I met there 2 weeks ago, and met some more people.

The room itself was full of positive energy and what felt like a deep loving connection. It was a really beautiful experience, and I've now decided to make that meeting my homegroup. So while some aspects of AA are difficult, these experiences are why I do really appreciate it and the people in it, and why I keep coming back.

I'm glad you're giving it a chance sweetichick

sweetichick

Hey August, not really up to much except house cleaning.. Whatever to distract myself. Maybe another meeting tonight.

uncorked

Hi sweetichick, I haven't read this whole thread but just wanted to let you know that I admire your strength, courage and humility. It doesn't have to be one thing or the other. You can combine different parts of different programs. As long as whatever you're doing resonates with YOU, that's all that matters.

sweetichick

I rang my AA friend today and the first thing she asked me was when is my next meeting. Maybe she is just too bossy for me. I have no money to buy alcohol anyway and won't die if I don't go tonight. I think it should be up to the individual how many meetings they go to and which ones. She really upset me again.

Grymt

Of course it's up to you whether or not to go. If you don't have anything more important to do, why not go. I don't have a sponsor nor have I ever been one and I don't know what that's like but I imagine it's a sponsors job to suggest things that are good for someone in recovery. Anyway, sometimes doing something that's supposed to be good for you when you don't want to is more meaningful to you than not. Be Happy.

sweetichick

She's not my sponsor.

darkling

I think she is very prob'ly trying to show you that she cares about you. She is prob'ly doing what others did for her when she first came into AA. I try to do the things that helped me when I first began and part of that is me calling a newcomer and encourage going to meetings. Cuz that's what helped me get/stay sober. Can you talk to her about how you feel? I know alot of times what I think another person is thinking is very different from what is actually on their mind . . .

Dee74

I agree that she's probably just showing concern, trying to motivate you in a positive way.

The fact you won't drink today cos you have no money is one thing...but what about when you do have money again ?

you could be that much closer to a recovery plan by then, and meetings could be part of that?

Noones going to make you do anything you don't want to do tho.

If you just find it all too scary & pressuring, then say something to her.

D

August252015

Sweeti- the day you had planned sounds great. A meeting at the end would have been good; I am guessing you didn't go and right now, with all your sort of back and forth about AA, I'm just glad you didn't drink (Assuming so).

One comment about her question about your next meeting- many people ask this (sponsor or not, friend or not, just a random member) of newbies because there is a lot of weight behind the success of 90 in 90 (even 30 in 30) as a commitment to meetings and really giving the program a legit shot. I didn't like it at first and I sure didn't speak up at a meeting for a long time (I think it was one of those things I saw change around 100 days that I mention sometimes) - but I did about 82 in 90 and it definitely got me traction in the program.

Some questions and comments AA-ers make really annoy and put off newcomers. I found that the ones that did this to me did so because they rang of truth. When I balked it often meant it was exactly what I needed to do, and such.

I hope you stick with AA - at least with SR- and get to a point that your mind is clearer and you are on a steady path.

Take care.

hodor

small steps sweeti. You are getting a great deal of helpful advice here, try to just take it - on face value, without debating it in your mind - and take some more small steps.
Heck I'm here a year later and it is still small steps for me, even today. There is light at the end of the tunnel for you, you just have to face into it to see it

Berrybean

I don't go to meetings to stop me drinking. I go to meetings to learn and remember what it is I need to do to make sobriety bearable, sustainable and preferable to drinking. Maybe you sounded like sobriety was a little uncomfortable. Hard to tell from the tiny bit if the conversation you chose to tell us.

I've also learnt that, for me, it's when I least want to go too a meeting that I most need to go to one. Lots of alcoholics are pretty good at mistaking their wants for needs and their needs for wants. I am certainly one of them .