Hawkeye13

update please CL--you can start again--I know I had to several times as well

Pixus

Chickenladyyyyyy!!!! Where are youuuuuuuu?? Miss your updates, hope you're just off having heaps of fun. Come back soon!!

Dee74

D

sugarbear1

Sending you love and hugs

I miss your daily updates!!! I hope you are having a nice vacation!

Chickenlady06

I'm not happy, I've been drinking to hide, to feel numb and here I am again just tired of being that person. So day 1 again.
I was stuck in my house for two days due to the hurricane...which means I drank a handle of tequila and a case of corona...all.by. myself. Ugh. So I'm picking myself back up, resetting the sobriety counter and doing something wholesome and fun today. I'm taking my daughter to pick out a birthday present and buying the biggest cup of starbucks coffee that I can find.

lynnmarie123

I am so so SO glad you are back Chickenlady! I followed your posts and was sad when you disappeared. So many disappear never to return here again.
You can do this. Perhaps a better plan needs to be made?
There is so much great info on this sight regarding plans.
Dee, could you post some links?
Take care, CL. We are here to support you. You did so well when you posted often. Live on this site for a while, okay?

Chickenlady06

Thank you! Cleaning house and making new plans today. I'll be around here pretty much hourly.

Chickenlady06

Nearly through day one. I'm due to bed in three hours and so looking forward to it. I've eaten everything in the house and drank a million gallons of water. I have horrific heartburn!!! So, that was my plan for today, got my house super clean, I even did the windows!
Today's gratitude is for my baby girl. She has been wonderful company on this first awful day, giving cuddles, kisses and unconditional love that I need so much today.
I have to committ to being sober again. I am so much better as a person when I'm not drinking. I'm more fun, feel way better and handle stress far better. My new idea in life is simplify, life, work, everything. This is my step 1, I absolutely have to do this.

SnazzyDresser

Glad to see you back, Chickenlady.

Dee74

These are a great place to start IMO

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ery-plans.html

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-recovery.html

welcome back CL.
D

Hevyn

It's good to see you back with us, Chickenlady.

Chickenlady06

Thank you dee! I'll be going over both of these, making a plan now!!!

Chickenlady06

So each time I do this I learn a little more. The first time I had no plan and just ran my recovery on hopes and dreams. The next time I learned that I needed a plan, but I just went day by day, really winging it and just called it a plan. So this time I want to really plan my recovery and I've done the reading that Dee shared and I've decided to be super open and create my plans here and you all can chime in if you feel like you can help.
Daily plan and self care:
-wake up at 5am, take the time to prep for the day, get kid's breakfast ready, enjoy a quiet cup of tea
-brush teeth, wash face, do hair and makeup for work
-wake and feed kids, eating breakfast with them at 630
-clothe baby and drop off kids
-8am.....work work work work work
-stop everything and eat lunch away from desk at 1230
-430 clock out and drive to gym
-5 work out
-7 get home eat a light dinner, chat with family
-8 shower, wash face, brush teeth
-830 sleepytime tea and in bed by 9.

This is the monday through friday plan, couple things I'm doing differently here, lots of added self care that I usually neglect when drinking. I've decided to abandon my mom bun and actually do something with my hair and put on makeup. Making myself get away from my desk to eat, instead of working through it. Tea. All the tea. I love the ritual of making tea and i just got an awesome new tea kettle. I go to the gym most days anyways, I love it there, my crossfit family is super supportive, so this will be a major priority.
Weekends will have to be different and productive. I will have to stay super busy.
Tomorrow, I'm waking at 5, eating a healthy breakfast and getting outside to pull some weeds. Then gym at 10, grovery store after that and meal prep the rest of the day. Making spaghetti for dinner with a caesar salad.
This is the beginning, i have more things to add, but I'm exhausted so I'm headed to bed super early .

Chickenlady06

Day2
I did not wake up at 5, I had a horrendous night of sleep, shaking, anxiety, sweating all that lovely stuff that comes after a huge binge. I still seem to be pretty dehydrated, so water to the max!! Instead, I woke up at 7, made breakfast for the kids and a huge turkey sausage and veggie omelette for myself, that was a bit rough to thrown down, but I know I need to start with a healthy meal. I may give myself an extra day of rest and skip the gym, just do some yard work and get meal prep done for the week. I just hurt all over and think that hitting the weights may not be a great idea. I definitely won't be sitting on my butt though.

Dee74

Hi chickenlady - that's a good plan for 'doing stuff' but what about some things specifically targeting staying sober?

D

Chickenlady06

Doing stuff is filling the time, true. I'm altering my routine so that I'm busy during times I usually drink. I won't be making my usual stops to get drinks.
Any suggestions? It seems you feel like my plan is not good enough, I definitely have no real answers at this point.

Dee74

oh, I'm not making value judgements - in the end it's your plan chickenlady

I thought about about cravings and how to handle them. (Have you seen the Cravings Tips thread?) http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-cravings.html

I thought about my triggers and healthy ways I might deal with those.

I roleplayed situations in my head where I was in a situation with other drinkers, or around alcohol because those situations will happen eventually.

I thought about my support and whether I had enough and whether I was using it enough.

things like that

D

Chickenlady06

I sat down this evening and thought about some of my major triggers:
Stress, boredom, anger, wanting to "have fun"
Here are some things that I am placing on my list of things that could help me through those feelings, they can and probably will change if I find they aren't helpful. These are things I like to do or have wanted to pick back up, but haven't due to the drinking.
Hop on here and talk through my feelings, I'm working on deciding on an irl person I can reach out to...may need to hunt for some new buddies.
Journal
I have so many knitting projects waiting in the wings.
Take a jog, or just grab the dog or the baby and go on a walk.
Have some actually fun activities to turn to. Play games with the kids.
Just go to bed. Many times my cravings hit after kid's bedtime, so my options are slim, and I am often more than willing to go to bed before nine.
I'm going by the library this week and grabbing some books, reading was very helpful in my early days last time.

Mattq2

I'm glad your back chicken lady. I followed your post all the time. When I joined you were one of the first people I recognized as I read every day. It bothered me greatly when you disappeared as I knew where you went. I went there many times myself. I know you can do this. Just keep learning and improving your plan. We are all here for you. No more disappearing please!!!!

Chickenlady06

Thank you mattq2, I have to do this. There are zero reasons for me to drink. I'm just hiding from real feelings and need to buck up and face them and make some changes.