Chickenlady06

Thank you pixus and gatorman! I'm amazed that anyone reads what comes out of my crazy brain. I'll be sure to let my hubs know that strangers think I'm funny, after fifteen years of knowing me, ten of those married, he doesn't think I'm funny anymore.🙄 he's just pretty sure I'm nuts.
I'm super proud of myself for not giving in, even though my inner alcoholic was promising lots of great things. I did have to end up taking a muscle relaxer, but it took the edge off enough for me to sleep. This morning it took me about 5 minutes to get from the bed to the toilet, so I'm thankful I didn't have to do that with a hangover. I did laugh so hard at my state this morning that I ended up all fours on the floor crying/laughing/screaming.(wow, no emoji for that one...)
Hubs made me breakfast after he stopped laughing too..and I'm on the floor with the girl doing my exercises and thinking about my plan for the day. I need to go to the store, mainly for ice cream, but the girl also needs formula and those little yogurt melts she loves so much. The guys have soccer practice and need to fix my car, every single light came on the dash yesterday, so maybe my car contracted some sort of virus...or it's 10 years old and just like me, it's falling apart.
Today's plan, is so slowly but surely try to get through the chores on my list. Drink this quart of iced coffee and coconut milk..yes a whole quart, it's totally necessary, I need to not be judged today.
Then bed, book, tea, sleep, just like every night. Okay, I need to keep moving, inward and upward through day 11!! 👐

Dee74

Hope your back troubles abate chickenlady

D

Chickenlady06

Thank you Dee!
Hubs put me on full rest today, so I laid on the floor with my legs on the ottoman and watched cheers all day. The girl and I played and talked and napped and that was about it. Hubs just gave me a tiger balm rub down, I have my tea, and my book and I'm so ready to fall asleep. Hoping to feel a bit better tomorrow, but hubs was certain it will take longer for me to recover.
I didn't really struggle with wanting to drink today, but I did eat a boat load of junkfood. 🍨🍕
Today's beautiful moment was my boy doing all my chores for me and bringing me the things I needed. He really pulled through for me today.

I'm so grateful for a handy and hard-working hubs, he fixed my car, installed two big fans in my outdoor patio gym, fixed another fan, and massaged my back. 😍

Pixus

You've got such a great family. It's so funny when I read your posts, I have this picture of your house and how you all look, just like when you read a book. I'm probably totally wrong though! Heehee.

Chickenlady06

Lol pixus, I do the same thing when reading posts it's so true. I can only hope Sandra Bullock plays me in the story in your head, my husband would be Ryan Reynolds and my kids would be played by better mannered dogs. Maybe that's just the story in my head tho. Lol! I am very lucky they are being so good to me and cutting me some slack right now.

Today's plan is not much different from yesterday. My back is better, but still painful, so I've been doing my stretches so I can get mobile. I am about to make a giant mason jar full of iced coffee and almond milk, do some food prep, fold some laundry, watch more Cheers because sunday morning is all news and news in Florida is the most depressing news of all. My poor heart can't take anymore these days. I've been being mega over positive about everything else to compensate for all the horrible things that happen around here daily. Anyways, back to me and my bubble. I'm confident that day 12 will be great, more back exercises, more rest, more playing with the baby on the floor. The girl is now summoning me from her room: "Dadadada, babababa!!" Hands clapping, happy screeching the whole deal.
🌻🌻 talking about our problems is our greatest addiction. Break the habit, talk about your joys instead. 🌻🌻

Chickenlady06

Day 12 is done! It went rather well considering I just laid around doing nothing again all day. My back is healing though, little by little. Really not much to say about today, lots of Cheers watching, the guys did a bunch of chores, I did a bit of meal prep for tomorrow and folded some laundry. I'm about to go to bed super early.
Today's beautiful moment is the girl learned to wave and say something that sounds very close to hey! It's very cute and we had her doing it all day.
I'm still grateful for my hubs, I had a pretty rough breakdown today, feeling useless and upset that I couldn't get anything done. He was very reassuring that I really just needed to rest and he didn't think I was being useless at all. He's usually not a very sweet person like that, and it was nice to hear.

Chickenlady06

Day 13 is proving to be a most painful day. And I've only been up 30 minutes. Sitting is the worst thing for my back and I'm an assistant, so I sit for all 8 of my hours and Monday is report day, so I'm finding it hard to be positive. I can do this, I think I'm going to run by Walgreens on my way in and grab a back brace and see if compression will help me out. Positive side though Mondays are typically the easiest for my sobriety, so that part should be a breeze. Hubs will get the kids for me and I will be going to bed super early tonight. Happy Monday!!

Chickenlady06

Day 13 ended way better than it began. My back is starting to feel loads better, working for physical therapists is awesome. Work was a struggle at the start, I hid out in an executive's office with my laptop to run my reports this morning while lying on the floor. This made me feel like a super professional assistant.👏 Lol. Especially when my bosses found out, they were totally great about it by the way and would come to me and apologize if they had to ask me to get up.
After lunch I found a super swanky executive chair to snag for the rest of the week, coupled with a back brace and a company beach towel tucked under my butt made sitting a tolerable event. My big boss gave me a bunch if exercises to do on break and when I got home, and I do feel much better now. My grateful moment is for my bosses. I work for very knowledgeable clinicians that care very much for me and hate to see me in pain. One of them let me off the hook for a report as long as I did a group of stretches, which I'm not a fan of him doing my work for me, but I appreciate the sentiment.

The whole day wrapped up across the street with my neighbors/friends/adopted family for her daughters tenth bday. We chatted, ate nachos, watches the kids play in the slip n slide, now I'm rocking the baby to sleep. That's my day's beauty moment. I really enjoy writing out my day like this and taking the time to appreciate all that I have going for me. It really puts all the reasons I have for getting sober in perspective. I can really enjoy my co workers, my family, my friends, myself. I'm even laughing more at the stupid shows I watch. If you're reading this, consider starting a thread of your own, babble on about whatever pleases you and see how it enhances your road to sobriety, so far it's helped me quite a bit.

🌻🌻"Happiness is letting go of what you think your life is supposed to look like and celebrating it for everything that it is." Mandy Hale 🌻🌻

Chickenlady06

Today marks 14 days! Let's do this! I woke up this morning with much less pain than Ive had all week, so today is looking up already. Now, if I can make my goal of eating healthy all day, and just eat the food I've packed, I'll have a darn good day. I've been eating tons of comfort food because of the pain and I'm headed to a week at the beach in 10 days, so I'd really like to at least eat healthy for the next ten days. 🙄
I packed cucumbers, a salad, apple and peanut butter, big iced coffee with almond milk to have at work today. I tend to do the whole foods/paleo type stuff when I do eat healthy and it works really well,I've just never done it while not drinking too. If I could just get rid of some of this bloating, thank you to yesterday mornings donuts and last night's nachos...then I'd feel a little better.
Today's plan: get out of bed and do back exercises, eat healthy all day at work, don't drink, clean something after work, back exercises, book, tea, bed. I got goals y'all.

Little aside though, I am dying a little inside not being able to get to my gym or pick up a bar. I'm not stupid, I know not to rush it, but it's my stress releaser, my social outlet, and I'm extremely sad without it.

Soberwolf

Great job on two weeks

Chickenlady06

Thank you soberwolf!
Success on two weeks! I was a bit grumpy today, but that's probably due to the not drinking plus the healthy eating plus the back pain, it should pass. About to have a protein shake for dessert, tea...I finished my book, so then bed. My day was pretty uneventful. Work was work, pain was better, came home made brussels sprouts and chicken, chatted with my family. Same old same old.
Today I'm grateful for routine, it's comforting and making things easy, but I just need to be sure to not to become complacent in this easy feeling, thats when my AV starts to tell me that it is okay to start to slip. I'll definitely be mindful of this in the coming weeks as I look forward to the longest I've ever been sober. (29 days will mark that event)
Beautiful moment, I love watching my daughter crawl. Nothing beats a big ole diapered baby bum swish around the house destroying everything at her level. Nothing is safe and now she can find me in the bathroom. 😑

Soberwolf

Chickenlady06

Day 15! Super hopeful today is going to be better, I am having minimal pain right out of the gate, but I will definitely keep doing my exercises throughout the day and wear my back stabilizer. I have a workout plan and did most of my exercises in bed this morning and the rest before I hit the shower. I also bought a lifting belt for when I do go back to lifting to protect myself. I'm an extremely conservative lifter anyways, but after my hubs went through his back surgery I don't take chances. Neither of our injuries have been directly crossfit or lifting related, that is to say that the set off didn't happen while working out. I've had SI issues for years and I definitely did not properly rehab my abdominals after having the girl and returning to lifting, so I am assuming this is my price for that.
Anyways, crap time to go to pack up the kids and go to work.

Chickenlady06

I didn't do my daily wrap up yesterday I was overtired and my back hurt. Day 15 was a success, although I was called out of work at ten to go care for my daughter who had a very sudden 103 temp, I'm home with her again today, her fever is better though, she'll return to school tomorrow. Day 16 starts now, I'm working from home, obviously super hard. 😆 Not much to tell, really, still sober, not really struggling at the moment, but I know there are rough days ahead. So, I'm just enjoying the easy ones when they are here. 😎

ScottFromWI

Congrats on day 16 Chickenlady, and great job on coming here to share when things get tough. That's a real testament to your commitment - making the choice to talk things through and face life head on.

Best wishes for your daughter to feel better soon, she's lucky to have a mom like you to take care of her.

Soberwolf

Congrats CL

sugarbear1

Why not stay home with your daughter one more day so she is fever-free before she returns to school?

Chickenlady06

Oh sugarber, wish I could, but since my aunt dies in June and I had to fly home for a week to be with family, and I'm on vacation in 9 days, I'm plain out of vacation days. Good news is she's been fever free since 830 am!! She can go to school tomorrow and I can go to work.i got a ton of work done today, but being an assistant, I really do need to be in the office.

Chickenlady06

So let me tell you about the she- devil that I turned into this afternoon. I'm a mess, everything is triggering this lightning in my brain to just yell at everyone for everything. Just sit down and be quiet and don't do anything!! Sorry about the imagination and joy in your hearts kids, that will have to wait till mommy stops being crazy😲. In the meantime, just be sad and play quiety in your room and, don't you dare ask me for more food....😡 so, pretty sure by the end of this week my family will hate me. They'll get over it, I'm sure. I just separated myself into the bedroom and away from everyone, so I think they are safe...for now...😒

Proud of dinner tonight, go make it, easy and very good: http://www.cookingclassy.com/2015/04/single-sheet-pan-parmesan-crusted-salmon-with-roasted-broccoli/

Today I am grateful that my bosses let me work from home, I really did get quite a bit done and was happy to be home for my daughter.

Today's beauty moment, since we had time, we walked the boy around the corner to his summer school. Wasn't so bad on my back and the morning was much more pleasant starting out that way. We talked, we dodged spider webs, and we danced so whatever came on the radio. It was lovely.

Chickenlady06

I didn't stop to make my day 17 plan , so I'm doing it now. I need it now, I'm struggling hard now. I'm struggling against the habit of a Friday night, against the only way I've ever known how to have fun. It's tough to find a new way to have fun a new way to spend my Friday nights. So here's the deal: laundry folded, dinner about to be had, gonna take the boy to dairy queen for mini blizzard's then I'm going to head to bed.
🌻🌻"The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself."🌻🌻