Ama

(((Hope)))

Keep posting - it gives me great HOPE and I can feel your efforts to stay sober.....SR shows us how many of us battle with this disease and how hard it is to break the cycle of boozing and the obsessions and oblivions and need I go on????? I dont think I have to here on SR!!!!

However - none of my non-alco friends can understand and whilst I appreciate them sticking by me, I also know that they dont have a clue about how twisted my head can get with the addiction side.

SR and AA meets clear my head - mental laundry - I need it and benefit from it. Now 3 mths and 2 days feels good! Sorting the head, the children, the house, etc etc etc......these get left behind when I use or drink you see.

Well done dear friend.......

hopealwayz

My best friend is being so hurtful to me and it is breaking my heart. He is so moody these days and I always let him get to me. It seems like he is taking his moods out on me and I don't deserve to be treated like that. I want our friendship to stay close but I don't want to be around him acting like a jerk to me. I can only pray for him and hope things get better in his life. Maybe I just need to move on. I need strength.

Jupiter2

Hi hope,

Sounds like you are having a tough time with your friend. Sometimes when other people are hurting about things not related to us, they lash out at those closest to them. I know when this has happened to me, I have had to give the other person a little space and they usually have come around. Work on yourself and your sobriety and all will come right in the end with these relationships.

Hope things are better tomorrow, but the best thing of all is already happening: you are staying sober and have made great progress in the past week. Good going and give yourself a pat on the back!

3legacy

(((((((((HOPE)))))))))))
sending
STRENGTH
your direction through prayer.

wantneeda

put yourself first, your sobriety first, please!
When others lash out it is usually in fear. This could be fear relating to themselves or the fact that you have been strong enough not to let your disease overcome you. You are doing so well. If some space is needed then it's needed, simple. Do what you feel in your heart to be the right thing.
You are in my thoughts and prayers!!

Ama

((((Hope))))

Think you must re-evaluate what a friend is let alone a best friend. For me they are those who do not judge me nor I them. They lift me when I cannot lift myself and they are those whose company causes me to grow and I hope that I do this for them too.

Friendship is loving and giving......He doesnt sound like he is doing much of this at the moment and that is NOT GOOD for your recovery. Stressors in our lives must be reduced so I would advise minimal contact if any with him at the moment.......

Your Sobriety and Recovery could be undermined and you cannot risk that....Keep posting as you give me great hope

hopealwayz

Thanks Ama, 3Legs, Jup, and Wantneeda! I have tried to talk to him but it doesn't seem to be doing any good. He is so stuck in his own head, that he doesn't realize what the problem is. A few months ago, we were finally growing closer again and I was so happy. It seems as though he is going through something now and it is causing him to lash out.

He is supposed to be leaving in a few months. He could be feeling all kind of things about that, but I am not going to try to guess because I just don't know.

I hope for his sake he figures things out and I hope he comes to his senses soon.

As for me, I just have to deal with the hurt.

Love,
Hope

wantneeda

Hi Hope, it seems to me that you are dealing with this with stength, you haven't picked up, that my freind is progress!!!! Let go and let God. Often i put my loved ones in His hands, I've got a God box, b**ch box, what ever you want to call it, that i just write down my problems and give them to, it seems to work. Also you might try to picture in your mind thiis person and a positive outcome. What we think of seems to come to light. for example: I try not to see my self relapsing but sober, clean, happy, healthy. Or my ex: which is a really tough one because most of him really gets under my skin, but i picture us getting along.' I try to see him in my minds eye as something other thatn the jerk he appears to be.
My daughter went to a party last week end and was supposed to sleep at her freinds house, i got a call at 2 am telling me that she stayed at the party and had met some guy that i used to do crack with. OMG. So i went to bed putting her in God's hands. Picturing her safe, at home, sending her positive thoughts and love. when i woke up in the morning she was in her bed. Thank God!!!
I told her about this when she woke and she looked at me strangely and said "Mom, it worked"! She said she just about got in a car with a drunk driver but something in her heart told her to find another way!
Anyway, just some things maybe you could try.
Here's something that i love to read:
Recognize the Answers
Many of us lose confidence in prayer
because we do not recognize the answer.
We ask for strength and God gives us difficulties, which makes us strong.
We pray for wisdom and God sends us problems, the solution of which develops wisdom.
We plead for prosperity and God gives us a brain and brawn to work.
We plead for courage and God gives us danger to overcome.
We ask for favors and God gives us opportunities.

Bless you!!!

hopealwayz

Wow, thanks for sharing that, Wantneeda. That is a great way of looking at things. i admire your courage to always look on the positive side of things. Prayer does work and has a powerful force.

He asked me out to dinner tonight so we are going out and will have a long discussion about things. I'm a bit nervous for some reason. I hope all goes well tonight.

hopealwayz

Dinner went well. He is really special to me. I hope that after dinner things will get better for us. I can only hope and pray. The rest is up to Him.

wantneeda

Keep positive, don't forget expectation leads to disappointment. What will be, will be.
Keeping you in my prayers Hope. Time takes time. Happy Easter!!!!!!

hopealwayz

I overslept this morning and missed my math class. I pray that I will be able to catch up and understand the material. I'm already behind in my classes. This last time I picked up really messed things up for me. Now instead of having the energy and focus to study, I spend my time feeling exhausted and disorganized. I only have a month and a half left of school so hopefully I will be able to push through and be successful. Please pray that God will give me the strength to finish this semester strong and give me courage to take life one day at a time.

:tissue

wantneeda

Prayers sent, HOpe, take it easy on yourself, God has a plan for you. Just persevere and don't pick up things will work out. Yes, one day at a time.

hopealwayz

(((Wantneeda))) Your caring heart and spirit has brightened my day. Thanks for your prayers and caring words. It means a lot to me to know that I have a caring friend here at SR and inspires me to search for the light in the middle of the hard times. Thank you for reaching out to me during this difficult time. You helped me realize that I'm not alone.
Big hugs coming your way.

Love,
Hope

wantneeda

awe Hope, i have shivers........yes you have a friend in me. Don't give up hon, your worth every struggle!!!!

hopealwayz

I can't wait to see Gods plan for my life. I know it has to be beautiful.

Time2Surrender

I beleive that too.(((Hope))) Stay clean and sober "One day at a time" and I know you will have a life beautiful beyond your wildest dreams. God does have a plan for you.

hopealwayz

That really means a lot to me. Thank you.

hopealwayz

I felt really tired today so I took it easy on myself and just spent the day relaxing. I spent time with my sister which will be treasured moments to look back on in the future. I found out that mom has been high for 3 days and she was having paranoid delusions. For a moment, I thank God that I have stepped outside of the insanity just for today. I can't say what tomorrow will be, but today I know I have a choice, and I choose to stay sober.

I am responsible for my recovery and I will learn tools to have in place for all situations. I will only focus on one day at a time because each day has enough things on its own.

hopealwayz

Day 7

Everyone be gentle with yourselves today. Forgive yourself if you haven't already. Realize that we are not bad people trying to get good, but sick people trying to get better. Remember that you are worth it and so is the wonderful life you deserve. If you start to feel like giving up, remember that you have someone who believes in you and your dreams.

Wishing you a sober 24!

Lots of love,
Hope