Aiko

Am just upset...
is starting to wear off!!!

I could not move mi body until 2;00
Am with my parent's dog next to me, my mum is kneatting...
And I have to go to work
Tomorrow I have a meeting to behead me!
And was not my fault!!!
I got to go to work awake but is harder by day!!¡
And am sinking, my work colleages they worry I loose it...
As am a nervous wrek at work!!!


I do listen but I got limitations I can not desappear
So am thinking I got a four day window!!!

I do not want to annoy anybody at SR.
Specialy I would not hurt my friends
You mean a lot to me...
I do want you to feel in peace with me!
The rest is our own doing...

Bill I wish I could have a dog
but I can not take care of a dog
I love anymals... specially dogs and cats!
You are very fortunate to have its company!

Is not my intention to hurt anybody!
I will stop it!
Wish you all a recovery and happiness!

XO

Irnldy001

Aiko - chill for a second.
You are not hurting anyone here - I promise. We are here. We want you checking in rather than not. You have us scared, and frankly I think we are all HOPING to see you posting rather than see you go quiet without knowing that you are going somewhere safe. So PLEASE don't stop posting until you get somewhere for help.
Secondly, and I mean this with love and kindness - your life is very dramatic right now, and you are putting this drama now on us - we are not dramatic when we are sober. You are not in an emotional relationship with us - so do not worry about our feelings. As I said, you are not hurting anyone but you right now. We'd like to see you stop beating yourself so badly. That's all. I don't know how you're going from day to day. I wish I were nearby and could actually offer real support and help. All I can do is watch from a distance and wish I could.

wpainterw

I have aways admired Viking women, particularly the ones with horns sticking out the side of their helmets. I must add however that the ones that frighten me are those in the Icelandic Sagas, at least if they carry battle axes and "cleave" their opponents vertically from top to bottom. I'm sure they never apologized for that and so am quite content to stick with the Nordic variety.

wpainterw

Aiko:
I know you can't keep a dog. I was, rather, suggesting that you find someone who has a dog, talk to that dog (or horse) carefully (because once I was doing that and an English Setter nearly took my arm off guarding his many wives). A dog or horse always understands and sympathizes. A cat understands but doesn't let on about anything and just sits there with "no comment". The most you get out of a cat is "Have a nice day!".
Now I hope you feel better and do some thinking about what comes next. Please don't stop posting. Stick with us. We are all behind you one hundred percent. You are one of us. We don't judge you any more than we judge ourselves, which we try not to do. We share a common illness and help one another to a common recovery. We shall never leave you and hope that you will never leave us. Every good wish.

Bill.

Soberwolf

If I can help just by listening let me know I've been guilty of getting frustrated in the distant past but thats my own faults today I realise this is your journey and if I can ever help just ask I wish you a sober 24h Aiko you can do this x

wpainterw

Aiko: You wrote: "I do not want to annoy anybody at SR.
Specialy I would not hurt my friends
You mean a lot to me..."

You have not annoyed anyone and the only way you might "hurt" us is if you stopped posting for some reason. We would feel hurt because we are all so fond of you. We would miss you! Please don't let that happen. And it helps you to tell someone how you feel instead of keeping it all bottled up inside and feeling lonely.
Every good wish.

Bill.

Dee74

Hi Aiko

if anyone's annoyed or frustrated all they have to do is not read or post in this thread.

I'm glad people are still posting tho, cos it shows they care about what happens to you

D

Delilah1

Hi Aiko,

Have you read any of Mera's posts about rehab? I know you are really struggling, and rehab may be a good option to help you deal with everything. Her posts are inspiring, and definitely worth a read.

❤️ Delilah

Soberwolf

Wishing you a nice sober day Aiko xx

JustQuit2016

Everyone is rooting for you Aiko. Please continue to post. X

wpainterw

Aiko:
Easter's coming! Time to come out of your rabbit hole! We won't eat you! The sun is shining.

Bill.

Hawkeye13

Hi Aiko--we miss you

wpainterw

[QUOTE=wpainterw;5865036]Aiko:
Easter's coming! Time to come out of your rabbit hole! We won't eat you! The sun is shining. /QUOTE]


We'll give you chocolate rabbits, filled with marshmallows! Come out of that rabbit hole and sit in the sun!

Bill

Irnldy001

Aiko - check in! We want to hear from you! I'm hoping and praying that all is well. Just a hello will do!

Dee74

calling Aiko

D

Hevyn

I'm thinking of you too, Aiko.

Aiko

Am sorry have not posted but been very upset...
I write all my feelings here and things I do not tell my closest......

These days have been hell at work, and today I broke down in tears but did not let my boss see me! never let you the enemy cry!!!
The B$%&$&$&$&&%$&$&

If he continues bulling me I will have to put and end to it!
In my state I can not cope with the pressure and on top someone treating me as a punch bag...

I was driving tonight with a friend and we saw a stray cat really sick, so I took it home... is very ill, bonny and dis hydrated, I will have 4 days off so I can look after it. I really hope it will make it through.
It is a really pretty cat but if you touch it is on its bones...
They have taken all his teeth away and castrated him and left him on the road.
So now is sleeping in my set tea.

I decided I am not ready at all to stop the medication, I can not cope without tranquilizers... but am getting used to this tipe and I need to take more to get stoned... and my doc forgave me to do it!!!
But I promised no drugs, no benzo, no alcohol,...
But I can not give up the pills not know!!

Tomorrow is my nephews birthday so I will have to turn up awake....
When I see him smile all my problems dis appear.

The pills started to take over now... my eyes close down...
but I need them to survive...
i have so much stress I can not explain it"""

Sorry can not keep my eyes opened...
Night Night
Lots of Love
Xo

wpainterw

Aiko:
It is so nice to see that you are back! Do stick with it, whatever you are doing with your doctor's permission. You can do this. Keep in touch. We will help you any way we can. That's so nice your caring for the cat. God has sent this cat to you. Care for it. Love it and you will see love in its eyes. You are kind and caring. I have known this all along. Believe in yourself. Your true self. Be kind to it as you care for the cat. We learn love from the animals.

Bill

Dee74

I am glad to hear from you again Aiko

wpainterw

P.S. Aiko: It is so nice you love your nephew so much! I'm sure he loves you too! Recover and keep well for him! And show that alcohol will not defeat you the way it seems to be defeating your dad. I still don't understand why, if your job is so stressful, your boss such a "bully" as you say, I don't understand why you put up with it. Is it the money? You can live with your mom until another job turns up. It would be terrible for her if alcohol and pills take you away from her. As for tranquilizers, I understand that doctors often prescribe them in the early stages of recovery, so if you trust your doctor and he prescribes them in controlled amounts then this may be O.K. It's just that some doctors overprescribe. That happens a lot here in the U.S. It happened to me. It depends on the medication, the dosage and the doctor's careful monitoring. I don't think it wise for you to increase the dose on your own. Having to get "stoned" to relax doesn't sound like recovery. It's important to follow the doctor's advice and avoid stress, particularly if you can give up your job for awhile.
Good luck and every good wish. Do keep posting. We all care about you so much!

Bill