dwtbd

Getting drunk harms the body. The harm is cumulative, if you get drunk more often than not when you drink, that is harmful. There is no reason to continue to be harmful to yourself. The longer you drink and get drunk the more harm you are going to do to yourself physically and psychologically. Labels aside consuming alcohol is harmful, you can control the harm that will be done by simply avoiding alcohol. I do not mean that abstinence is easy, just that avoiding the harm done by alcohol consumption is simple, don't consume alcohol.
The only way I found I could reliably avoid the harm I was doing to myself by getting drunk, was to stop drinking. I never really liked drinking in moderation, I was only satisfied by getting very intoxicated, I could manage a few have and there but I didn't 'like' that.
Alcohol abuse and its effects are progressive, it may seem to stay the 'same' for a while even a long while but that will change and the change can be very abrupt. I drank 'heavily' for years, never drank before.. never in the am... never go get more after starting.... until I did.
I found SR because I was looking into alcohol withdrawl symptoms, anxiety and the kindling effect. My first day here I saw mention of RR and AVRT, I recommend looking into them.
wish you well and hope to see you around
Quitting for good was the best choice I ever made, you can make that choice too

FBL

Too many people get hung up on labels. If alcohol is causing problems in your life, then you have a problem with alcohol.

Crossfitdad

I love that diagnostic tool. "If you've answered 'yes' to any of these it is a definite warning you are an alcoholic." What a joke. Several of those could be answered in the affirmative by a person who has only drank one time in his life. The others by anyone who went to college.

FreeOwl

a joke?

I don't think so......

And guess what? There are lots of kids in college who wouldn't answer yes to these. Contrary to what we alcoholics want to believe.

At some point in my life - probably around 15 - I would have only answered yes to one....

Now I can only honestly answer 'no' to two of them.

This is a good list.

dwtbd

The list should contain a question about whether or not you enjoy the feeling of intoxication, I would venture to guess some people actually have an aversion to the feeling. And not as defacto indication of alcoholism, but as a giant red flag.
It is very hard for us humans to avoid that which we enjoy. Given the progressive nature of alcohol abuse initial enjoyment is certainly a stepping stone to addiction.

PurpleKnight

Not sure the question needs answered!!

If alcohol is causing you problems, which it is, that never ending cycle you describe, the effects on your life which you hate and the wishing to be able to stop drinking, it sounds like you're ticking a lot of boxes that should be flashing warning signs around your drinking habits.

Regardless of the label, the solution is the same!!

Soberwolf

This

whatsgoingon

Wow, thanks for all the advice and support really really appreciate it.

It's so comforting to know that I'm not on my own. So many of you have said you can see similarities between us. I have learnt quite a bit today and I guess what stands out for me is that where I am right now could potentially be the beginning of a far bigger problem in the long term. Deep down I knew that anyway and I guess I just needed someone to tell me. What's great about this site is that you get ready good advice and occasional home truth. There is no hiding place here, I can't pull the wool over anyone's eyes because you have been here before and heard the same stories and excuses.

I need to make a start to changing my lifestyle but I don't really know where to start and how to keep it going. I need a 'why' and a reason to keep me focused. For me it's too easy to just say I'm going to do it, I need something to motivate me. Right now giving up drinking for a day is easy to do but as the great Jim Rohn would say what is easy to do is also easy not to do.

I know that booze is no good for me. It serves me no purpose at all and without it life would be a lot better. I would feel fresh, healthy and alive. My whole life I've lived with this jekel and Hyde personality constantly battling with good and evil. When I am good I'm awesome, I go to the gym, do well at work, feel amazing and positive. When I'm bad I have no motivation, I drink, I'm lazy, I'm defeated, I'm miserable and I procrastinate about every damn thing.

I want to give up and I'm ready to have another go. I have a problem though and I think that what I'm going to say will annoy some people on here and I'm sorry about that I really am. . Thing is, I don't think I can give up right now, not this month it's going to be too challenging for me. The reason being is that it's the holiday season and every weekend in August I'm away on family camping trips with friends. Unfortunately drinking and camping go hand in hand. All the friends and family that I will be with will be drinking and I think I would find it so difficult to stay sober. I think if I tried to give up today then by this time next week I'd be back on here feeling like a failure. My plan (and I know it's not ideal) is to start my recovery on September 1st. There will be no distractions and I will have a better chance of success. I think if can get three months of being sober in before Christmas I will have a good chance of long term sobriety. What does everyone think of this? I know it's not ideal but I've been drinking solid for 20 years so waiting another couple weeks won't make much difference if it means I can have real go at dealing with this.

Regardless of when I start I need a plan and I think I'll read the big book for some ideas. I'm planning to start a boxercise class as well, it's an 8 week course and it's something to focus on. I am a better person when I'm exercising and if I can channel myself into fitness it might help me. The last time I gave up for a significant period the biggest problem I faced was boredom. When the drink was gone it suddenly transpired what boring existence I really had! I can't let that happen this time.

I really hope I can do this guys. I am a bit concerned though. I've been here before and failed. Any tips to make it work this time?

IOAA2

How about this, from a highly respected person in the field af alcoholism, Fr. Martin:

CHALK TALK
The impact of all the many facets of alcohol abuse constitutes our number one health problem. Alcoholism is third on the list of fatal diseases in the US, and that statistic does not even take into account that alcohol has been implicated in the #1&2 killers, heart disease and cancer. It also does not count the cases where alcoholism was not identified as the cause of death as when a body is burned beyond recognition. It does not count the prison population of which most are there as a result of committing a crime while intoxicated or is on a death certificate stating alcohol as a cause of death. Nor does it include broken homes, wrecked lives, lost children, and lost hopes, the kind of things rarely make the headlines.

And many consider calling it having fun!


BE WELL

dwtbd

I was going to quit for a long time, but ...the vacation was coming up so.., the holidays would coming so after that.. did that for years.
When I finally decided to quit , it happened to be right before a vacation that was pretty much designed around cocktails and social drinking, I went and stayed sober (nobody more surprised than Me, but I did do it) but I enjoyed the vacation not one little bit.
There never seemed to be a good time to quit, but Now is always the Best time.
wish you well, you can do it, you just have to do it

Saskia

I've stopped for years in the past with no trouble at all -- until I couldn't one day. This last time was very scary because I wasn't sure if I really could stop. It took SR, almost daily AA meetings, psychotherapy plus a 3-month intensive outpatient program to do what I previously did on my own overnight. Need I say more? Sometimes I think "if I only knew then what I know today ...." but that's a fruitless avenue of introspection now.

Cauliflower

Some people may agree with your planned sobriety date, and some won't. It's all up to you and what works for you. I was a binge drinker too, and I tried so many times to quit. But until something clicked in my mind, that I just did not want to continue beating myself up every time I drank. That self defeating angry me just decided to stop one day. It wasn't planned, it just happened. Over the next month, take a good look at yourself and try to find a solid Why. You need to quit, you already know that. It will happen for you, you are in the self discovery mode. When you are out camping, and if you can try to stay sober and see for yourself what it's like. Just watch what others are doing. Most likely, most people are just enjoying one or two drinks and going to bed sober, you'd be surprised! and the odd person (I was that one) continues to drink until they are drunk. Only alcoholics or problem drinkers make every situation a chance to drink and get drunk. That was an eye opener for me these last 3 months.

Savior

You and me both, Odisnow. I feel like it was me who wrote the post by Whatsgoingon also. This is my first time on this site. Just found it today. I've been in therapy for my abuse for just over a month now.

Mcribb

even when I labeled myself an alcoholic I didn't stop....because I just accepted it as apart of life. So binge drinker or alcoholic doesn't matter you can accept and swallow both of those labels if you want to drink. What matters is that moment you decide. ENOUGH IS ENOUGH...NO MORE. NO MORE PEEING MY PANTS. NO MORE BAR FIGHTS. NO MORE GOING TO PLACES TO BEG FOR SOMETHING TO EAT. Get help!

Joieetrem9481

There are many, many paths to becoming and remaining sober. If one doesn't work, try another. We all didn't develop drinking problems in the same way or for the same reasons and I believe it to be the same for sustained sobriety. Do whatever it takes to make your life enjoyable.

Serenidad

Wow IOAA! Just wow. I'm saving this....the ugly truth about alcohol. Thank you for posting that!

Fly N Buy

Hi Whatsgoingon -

Everyone here has their story and can identify with others. When I got sober 13 months ago I strongly identified with this passage and the stories from the Big Book of AA -

They Stopped In Time - p. 279

Among today's incoming A.A. members, many have never reached the advanced stages of alcoholism, though given time all might have.

Most of these fortunate ones have had little or no acquaintance with delirium, with hospitals, asylums, and jails. Some were drinking heavily, and there had been occasional episodes. But with many, drinking had been little more than a sometimes uncontrollable nuisance. Seldom had any of these lost either health, business, family, or friends.

Why do men and women like these join A.A.?

The seventeen who now tell their experiences answer that question. They saw that they had become actual or potential alcoholics, even though no serious harm had yet been done.

They realized that repeated lack of drinking control, when they really wanted control, was the fatal symptom that spelled problem drinking. This, plus mounting emotional disturbances, convinced them that compulsive alcoholism already had then; that complete ruin would be only a question of time.

Seeing this danger, they came to A.A. They realized that in the end alcoholism could be as mortal as cancer; certainly no sane man would wait for a malignant growth to become fatal before seeking help.

Therefore, these seventeen A.A.'s, and hundreds of thousands like them, have been saved years of infinite suffering. They sum it up something like this: "We didn't wait to hit bottom because, thank God, we could see the bottom. Actually, the bottom came up and hit us. That sold us on Alcoholics Anonymous."
End

AA or not, the point is we don't have to wait till everything blows up. For me I saw it coming and my life had gotten bad enough.

I learned from others I did not have to keep digging.

Glad you're here with us

charliesworld

Hi - I just thought I'd put my 2 penneth. I am you. My binges are down to 2/3 a year but when I go for it I go big time.

Does it matter if I label it? Does it even matter that I do it? I'm self employed so from that perspective me losing a few days 2 or 3 times a year bit of a problem but not massive.

If I lived on my own and I wasn't in contact with anyone and I didn't care if I lived or died then no. Why would it be a problem?

It is a problem for me because my family suffer when I do it. It is a problem because they need me and if I died they would be lost. And I should have died probably many times over with the amount I have in one sitting.

This last one I had was bad enough that I came back here (I was here many years ago as someone who drank a lot frequently).

I struggle because I enjoy it. I get perverse pleasure in not having anything to worry about other than getting drunk but it hurts the people around me and that's why I need to never do it again. I don't need to label it and I don't need anyone else to label me either. I actually cringe when I see people saying "Hi my is name ?? and I'm an ???" No offence meant to anyone who finds comfort and relief in that btw but it's not my thing.

I would suggest the fact you are here is the only answer you need to tell you you think you have a problem and perhaps need to deal with it..

Serenidad

Awesome post Flyn! I needed to read that today too! I love the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous! :-)

Venecia

Ditto.