Wow, thanks for all the advice and support really really appreciate it.
It's so comforting to know that I'm not on my own. So many of you have said you can see similarities between us. I have learnt quite a bit today and I guess what stands out for me is that where I am right now could potentially be the beginning of a far bigger problem in the long term. Deep down I knew that anyway and I guess I just needed someone to tell me. What's great about this site is that you get ready good advice and occasional home truth. There is no hiding place here, I can't pull the wool over anyone's eyes because you have been here before and heard the same stories and excuses.
I need to make a start to changing my lifestyle but I don't really know where to start and how to keep it going. I need a 'why' and a reason to keep me focused. For me it's too easy to just say I'm going to do it, I need something to motivate me. Right now giving up drinking for a day is easy to do but as the great Jim Rohn would say what is easy to do is also easy not to do.
I know that booze is no good for me. It serves me no purpose at all and without it life would be a lot better. I would feel fresh, healthy and alive. My whole life I've lived with this jekel and Hyde personality constantly battling with good and evil. When I am good I'm awesome, I go to the gym, do well at work, feel amazing and positive. When I'm bad I have no motivation, I drink, I'm lazy, I'm defeated, I'm miserable and I procrastinate about every damn thing.
I want to give up and I'm ready to have another go. I have a problem though and I think that what I'm going to say will annoy some people on here and I'm sorry about that I really am. . Thing is, I don't think I can give up right now, not this month it's going to be too challenging for me. The reason being is that it's the holiday season and every weekend in August I'm away on family camping trips with friends. Unfortunately drinking and camping go hand in hand. All the friends and family that I will be with will be drinking and I think I would find it so difficult to stay sober. I think if I tried to give up today then by this time next week I'd be back on here feeling like a failure. My plan (and I know it's not ideal) is to start my recovery on September 1st. There will be no distractions and I will have a better chance of success. I think if can get three months of being sober in before Christmas I will have a good chance of long term sobriety. What does everyone think of this? I know it's not ideal but I've been drinking solid for 20 years so waiting another couple weeks won't make much difference if it means I can have real go at dealing with this.
Regardless of when I start I need a plan and I think I'll read the big book for some ideas. I'm planning to start a boxercise class as well, it's an 8 week course and it's something to focus on. I am a better person when I'm exercising and if I can channel myself into fitness it might help me. The last time I gave up for a significant period the biggest problem I faced was boredom. When the drink was gone it suddenly transpired what boring existence I really had! I can't let that happen this time.
I really hope I can do this guys. I am a bit concerned though. I've been here before and failed. Any tips to make it work this time?