Blogs


Notices

Drank myself silly the past 2 days

Old 04-20-2015, 03:32 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
Drank myself silly the past 2 days

Hey everyone...Ive been working on having more sober days than drinking days and have got myself down to only getting drunk 2 days a week. It used to up to 5-6 times a week so I'm a little proud of that. However, its still reeking havoc to my body and mind. This nonsense where I think its ok to just go buckwild with bottles of vodka on the weekends and abstaining on the weekdays just isn't good enough. Who am I kidding. What normal person sits down and downs up to 20 shots of vodka and thinks they don't have a problem? The past 2 days I've done just that and I'm a mess today. My chest is tight. My anxiety is 10/10. I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm incredibly worried that my body is failing and I just don't know it yet.

Why aren't the hangovers enough of a deterrent to never drink again? Why do I look forward to the weekend so much? They suck because I'm always hungover and feeling awful.

I wish I could just never think about drinking ever again
Scared1234 is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to Scared1234 For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-20-2015), 48heath (04-20-2015), Dee74 (04-20-2015), gettingsmarter (04-21-2015), Indenial618 (04-20-2015), MatildaRose (04-21-2015), MelindaFlowers (04-20-2015), TomTom75 (04-21-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 03:36 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Imabuleva's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 642
//Why aren't the hangovers enough of a deterrent to never drink again?//

Because hangovers are easily forgotten.
Imabuleva is offline  
The Following 5 Users Say Thank You to Imabuleva For This Useful Post:
Indenial618 (04-20-2015), MatildaRose (04-21-2015), MelindaFlowers (04-20-2015), Ruby2 (04-21-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 03:36 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Feed your head
 
Soberwolf's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Posts: 67,035
Blog Entries: 4
Glad your bk Scared
Soberwolf is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Soberwolf For This Useful Post:
Indenial618 (04-20-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 03:41 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Pondlady's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 7,806
It's hard to believe, but the longer you are sober, the less you think about drinking. We play these little games with ourselves..."I didn't finish the whole bottle of wine" ," I only drank 5 times this week, not every day." We have to be ready to stop. Completely .
Pondlady is offline  
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Pondlady For This Useful Post:
Buggirl (04-21-2015), ccam1973 (04-20-2015), Dee74 (04-20-2015), Indenial618 (04-20-2015), least (04-20-2015), MatildaRose (04-21-2015), MelindaFlowers (04-20-2015), newpage119 (04-20-2015), Ruby2 (04-21-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015), strategery (04-20-2015), tomsteve (04-21-2015), undertow321 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 03:52 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 202,310
Blog Entries: 1
Welcome back Scared

If we want change we need to make change - it really is that fundamentally simple.

What have you been doing for your recovery?

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
Scared1234 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 03:54 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
Incontrol15's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 2,412
Scared...I'm with you 100%.
I've cut down too. Not to the extent that you have, but by a lot.

The anxiety and sense of doom has to be the worst. I found myself at a point where anxiety was setting in within an hour after drinking! Next morning was baaad. The only thing that made me better was a drink. Little vodka in the coffee. Yup. No doubt I have a problem.

I cut down to about half a pint a day with a day or two off here and there. Today I made a 24hr promise. The first of many.

Let's quit the ugly cycle for good.
You KNOW life is better being sober.
Quitting will blow, but the horrible cycle of anxiety and depression blows more.
Incontrol15 is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Incontrol15 For This Useful Post:
2muchpain (04-20-2015), Charlie117926 (04-20-2015), Dee74 (04-20-2015), gettingsmarter (04-21-2015), Indenial618 (04-20-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 04:00 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
When I honestly believed I could never drink like other people a dim light came on. Maybe I would have to quit drinking if I did not want to repeat the endless cycle.

I decided to quit drinking and get some professional help. The professional help guided me to AA and I have be sober since.

It can be done!
MIRecovery is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to MIRecovery For This Useful Post:
Buggirl (04-21-2015), Dee74 (04-20-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015), tomsteve (04-21-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 04:06 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,965
Blog Entries: 22
Originally Posted by Scared1234 View Post
I wish I could just never think about drinking ever again
As long as you're drinking, you'll be thinking about it.

The key to never thinking about drinking is quitting and working a strong program of recovery.
doggonecarl is offline  
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to doggonecarl For This Useful Post:
Charlie117926 (04-20-2015), MJane91 (04-21-2015), Ruby2 (04-21-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015), tomsteve (04-21-2015), Venecia (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 04:09 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
FreeOwl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2014
Posts: 8,167
You don't have a problem.

You have an opportunity.

I honestly feel fortunate about my misfortunes with addiction - for through them I've discovered something deeper and better that maybe I wouldn't have ever made room for if I could just 'drink like a normal person'

Because many 'normal people' happily but moderately anesthetize their soul's call right to the grave.

With alcohol and drugs out of my life, I am free to live as deeply as possible and to know self, spirit and life as completely as I can.

You can too... And it's way better than vodka
FreeOwl is offline  
The Following 8 Users Say Thank You to FreeOwl For This Useful Post:
brynn (04-20-2015), Ceedaily (04-20-2015), gettingsmarter (04-21-2015), newpage119 (04-20-2015), Ruby2 (04-21-2015), RunnerBean (04-20-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015), Venecia (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 04:09 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 57,534
It's only when you stop drinking and live in recovery that you are able to forget about drinking.

I hope you decide to stop for good.
Anna is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
brynn (04-20-2015), Scared1234 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 04:13 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by Pondlady View Post
It's hard to believe, but the longer you are sober, the less you think about drinking. We play these little games with ourselves..."I didn't finish the whole bottle of wine" ," I only drank 5 times this week, not every day." We have to be ready to stop. Completely .
I do this EXACT thing. I will find any way to justify it. The other day I watched intervention and convinced myself that I wasn't an alcoholic because the person on TV could drink more than me. Wtf?

I have a REALLY bad time with the following inner thought "WELL I HAVEN'T DRANK IN 5 DAYS, MY LIVER AND KIDNEYS HAVE PROBABLY RECOVERED REALLY WELL. I EARNED A BOTTLE OF VODKA" It works on me everytime. I convince myself I'm strong and healthy enough to get drunk
Scared1234 is offline  
Old 04-20-2015, 04:16 PM
  # 12 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Nov 2014
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Welcome back Scared

If we want change we need to make change - it really is that fundamentally simple.

What have you been doing for your recovery?

D
I see a psychologist once a week. I work out atleast 4 times a week. I eat better and healthier. However, come friday and saturday, I eat/drink whatever however I want. And consume upwards of 40 shots over the weekend.
Scared1234 is offline  
Old 04-20-2015, 04:21 PM
  # 13 (permalink)  
AA member
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: UK
Posts: 870
Sorry you are struggling.You have to want to stay sober more than you want to drink,then keep away from the first drink,whatever happens.

Knowing how bad my hangovers were never stopped me drinking.

If you continue like this things will get worse,if you commit to not drinking things will get better.

Wishing you well.
48heath is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to 48heath For This Useful Post:
Buggirl (04-21-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 06:28 PM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Location: MN
Posts: 8,704
Hi scared, I think its great you recognize its not normal and it should be addressed. As others will surely tell you the fear, anxiety and panic only gets worse. If you are 10/10 now, you will be 15/10 in another year or so. It scared me so badly I have never gotten to that point again. And never want to. I'm guessing after working out a few times during the week, eating well and sleeping well, when Friday rolls around the memories from the previous weekend have faded and you're ready to give her hell again?

Speaking for myself only, when I got to the point where the anxiety and panic set in as opposed to a hangover, it was game-over. My body would completely skip the hangover stage and go right into the elevated heart rate and anxiety. It was terrible.

I would take the advice others have offered as they know what they are talking about. You can do it.
thomas11 is offline  
Old 04-20-2015, 06:45 PM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
GirlGoneBad's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2015
Posts: 51
I am there with you, as well. During the week I am a good girl. On Friday I hit the bottle as hard as I can. I drink enough to sabotage an entire week of sobriety and hard work. I have to sleep all day Saturday and Sunday to stave off the dizziness and illness of the hang over. All I have had are the nights and I don't remember them!! It's no way to live. And I struggle with that as well.

Alcohol addiction takes on many forms, and as others here have said, weekend binging can be as destructive as drinking every night. My plan for the weekend is to fill my time with non drinking (fun) activities and to remind myself of all of the disastrous things that have happened by saying, "I can have just one..."

"The path of least resistance is non-resistance." I Ching. We have the power to talk ourselves into and out of anything. Let's not resist sobriety.
GirlGoneBad is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to GirlGoneBad For This Useful Post:
Indenial618 (04-20-2015)
Old 04-20-2015, 09:06 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
GnikNus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2014
Location: Somewhere in California
Posts: 1,134
Panic attacks from drinking were what pushed me in the direction of Sober Recovery, and finding Sober Recovery lead to sobriety. I had such bad attacks at the end of my drinking I would feel a sense of doom and death that is hard to describe.
The first time it happened I mistook it for an imminent heart attack. I wouldn't wish a panic/anxiety attack on anyone, and it was a big part of why I quit for good.
I'm nearly 5 months sober. I never think of drinking anymore. I don't have time to speak of all the benefits I've gained from sobriety. It's worth quitting. The early days will be hard, but it gets better all the time. Stop putting yourself through all this.
GnikNus is offline  
The Following 4 Users Say Thank You to GnikNus For This Useful Post:
Buggirl (04-21-2015), Ceedaily (04-20-2015), Dee74 (04-21-2015), gettingsmarter (04-21-2015)
Old 04-21-2015, 11:32 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
Member
 
PurpleKnight's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,827
Welcome back Scared!!
PurpleKnight is offline  
Old 04-21-2015, 12:51 PM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Buggirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2014
Location: Staffordshire, UK
Posts: 712
Blog Entries: 1
You can do this! Everyone has already given the advice I would've but you do this for you and You only!
Buggirl is offline  
Old 04-21-2015, 03:30 PM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Guest
 
TennantSmith's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2015
Posts: 390
I did that kind of thinking with myself too.

My god, I only drink 1xs a week. Yes, I drink so many pints I lose count but averaged out over the week, I'm not even considered a moderate drinker. Pssshhhawww, I don't need to quit.

Except the pain was growing. The anxiety, the grief, the end result. There was no difference than if I was drinking 3-5 times a week or 1. I was engaging in a habit that was not good for me.

Justification kept me drinking. An honest look at WHY I drank and HOW I drank and what it was doing to me, well, that's what opened my eyes.

You can't wing this or justify it. Those symptoms you experience are your body screaming at you for relief. Give it some.

HUGS!
TennantSmith is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to TennantSmith For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (04-21-2015)
Old 04-21-2015, 03:36 PM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 202,310
Blog Entries: 1
Originally Posted by Scared1234 View Post
I see a psychologist once a week. I work out atleast 4 times a week. I eat better and healthier. However, come friday and saturday, I eat/drink whatever however I want. And consume upwards of 40 shots over the weekend.
you need a plan for the weekends Scared.

There's lots of info on plans here:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
TennantSmith (04-21-2015)

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:02 AM.