Drank myself silly the past 2 days
Hey everyone...Ive been working on having more sober days than drinking days and have got myself down to only getting drunk 2 days a week. It used to up to 5-6 times a week so I'm a little proud of that. However, its still reeking havoc to my body and mind. This nonsense where I think its ok to just go buckwild with bottles of vodka on the weekends and abstaining on the weekdays just isn't good enough. Who am I kidding. What normal person sits down and downs up to 20 shots of vodka and thinks they don't have a problem? The past 2 days I've done just that and I'm a mess today. My chest is tight. My anxiety is 10/10. I feel like I'm on the verge of a panic attack. I'm incredibly worried that my body is failing and I just don't know it yet.
Why aren't the hangovers enough of a deterrent to never drink again? Why do I look forward to the weekend so much? They suck because I'm always hungover and feeling awful.
I wish I could just never think about drinking ever again