ZaBoozer

Ta itsitime,

I have poured out all the scotch and gin. I hear you on the temptation

ZaBoozer

Hi all,

So I have reached day four. By 9pm last night my eyes were really drooping. I thought well here we go - sleep. Ha. I switched the light off got comfortable and was just starting to doze off. Just then - Blam - slight convulsion. It is the same type that I had on the first night but very minor compared.

This went on until about 10pm. I don't remember much after that except waking up every 1,5 hours or so. I did not have the sweats or shivers last night. The shakes are still here this morning, I am not sure if they are getting worse. The burning under the skin down the side of my face is definitely reducing. I did have a headache when I woke up, but nothing like a hangover headache. Once again I am feeling famished. the acetone tasting burping has not happened yet. The brain mist has reduced, but definitely not gone. I am feeling much more alert and have a lot more muscle control back today.

Well it's Friday here in SA, so I just need to get through to 3. Then the day is done. I am going to have to definitely cut back on the cigarettes, I sound like a rasper when I talk. I don't think it would have any negative effect on staying sober.

Well that's where I am this morning. I can honestly say even with the after effects of the withdrawal I feel a helluva lot better than when I was drinking.

Have a good one.

Cheers

Buggirl

Welcome, you will find friends and support here!

BruceSA

Howzit, ZAB,

Keep going, Man. Making good progress. Well done!!

It just gets better and better.

Vrystaat!!

B.

ZaBoozer

Thanks Buggirl.

ZaBoozer

Thanks Brue,

Like Chicago sang - "I've been feelin stronger everyday"

ZaBoozer

Hi all,

So I have reached the end of day four. I have not had the acetone burping today. No anxiety or panic attacks. I still get the fade in fade out headaches. I still have a huge craving for food. No sweats or chills. Not much fatigue either. The burning sensation under the skin in the one side of face is there, but getting less. The trembling in my hands has increased a bit. My mind is clearer and my concentration is definitely more focused. I am able to function at work. The brain mist is still here, but very light. My kidneys are not as sore, but you notice the pain slightly.

I have cut out soda completely and try to limit my coffee to two or three cups a day. I take a B12 in the morning and again in the evening. It seems to help. I also drink copious amounts of water during the day and evening.

It has been a tough evening. One of my colleagues who is going through the same thing invited me to lunch. Although the place where he wanted to go makes great food, I had to decline. Just as well because when I saw him later he was completely hammered. That could have been me.

Unfortunately that has set off my AV so I have had to bargain my way with my mind most of the evening. Just another hour, then I'll go out. Just another hour then I'll go out. Luckily I got absorbed in my book so that temptation has passed. I think I might be feeling a little depressed as I am feeling sorry for myself for all the trouble I have caused. I know deep down that this to shall pass and that then, and only then can I start to heal myself. I miss my wife like hell and don't know if I can ever make up for that.

I have been spoiling myself with slabs of chocolate. I believe it is supposed to have something in it that makes you feel good. In an effort to console my self and stay strong, I have spent most of my free time reading the posts of the other members here on SR. It is therapeutic somehow. As I lie here in bed, I am having a cigarette and drinking one of those Becks non-alcoholic beers. Not sure if that is allowed, but it says 0% alcohol. I might just have found my substitute drink to the booze.

I think this is going to be a long hard weekend. I had plans to go out and get some new shirts tomorrow, but I think the temptation while being out in a mall full of blasted drinking opportunities is just too much for me right now.

Hopefully tonight the insomnia monster will stay away and hopefully I can spend most of the weekend trying to catch up on some sleep. It is strange how much better you feel even with all these self inflicted problems than when you were really drinking and having those hangovers where you pray to die and you know that there is no chance in hell that prayer will ever be answered. I have come to some sort of reasoning - the withdrawal effects are like getting through one major hangover that lasts for weeks, but you are not allowed a hair of the dog.

So this is where I am at the end of day four. It is a lot better than day one, two and three. I can only say that this has been my experience so far.

My new plan is to live life day by day, if that gets too much - hour by hour and if that gets too much - minute by minute.

Be safe and be strong out there. If I can get this far, anyone can.

Cheers

ZAB

Soberwolf

Good stuff Zab

saoutchik

Well ZaB, four days is solid.

Things will get better, but slowly, especially with regard the insomnia - it took me two months to obtain sustained good sleep.

It sounds like you'really really determined, that's the main thing

tabasco

7 months sober next week. You so reminded me of those first days. I hope you make it, you sound like you have a strong chance.

ZaBoozer

Ta saoutchick.

ZaBoozer

Ta tabasco

ZaBoozer

Ta wolf

ZaBoozer

Hi all,

Well it is the morning of day five.

While sleep did not come easy last night, it did not take as long to come as the previous nights. When it did come, I had an untroubled five hours, after which I woke to visit the bathroom. All the water I suppose. I went back to bed and had a two hour sleep which cam easy. I woke for another piddle and then went back to bed and had another two hour sleep which also came easily.

I still wake with the headache. The shaking hands are still here, not so bad though. No shivering and sweating during the night. The brain mist is there, but ever so slight. I am not sure though whether that is just the headache or not.

I am feeling famished. I take a B12 tablet and a liver detox tablet in the morning and in the evening.

On the emotional side, I feel stable. No anxiousness, panic or depression. Just level headed.

I am going to do some grocery shopping, maybe treat myself to a huge breakfast and just see how the day pans out.

Have a good one

ZAB

martina12

Morning ZaB you have inspired me to try day one again tomorrow! Have a good day and as you say take it hour by hour or minute by minute if need be....

ZaBoozer

Hey there Martina,

There is no time like now. It is like trying to give up smoking - there is never really a right time. I am keeping this journal to remind me how I felt and how it got better. It is not only for me, but everyone else out there that has been through it, or wants to know how it feels, physically and emotionally. Do not go cold turkey. I almost died. I did not know how close I was to having a stroke. See your doctor please? Good luck though.

Cheers

Zab

martina12

Hi Zab I'm a wine drinker in the evenings and I did around 6 weeks in Jan and Feb no wine or cigs then 4 weeks ago picked up the cigs again which resulted in increased wine drinking...nightmare! I'm quitting both tomorrow...got a social do tonight so starting tomorrow. Each time I quit I don't get the physical withdrawals but do get huge urges to drink and smoke. I'm going to be urge surfing for a while but I've done it before. Like you I am keeping a journal which really helps, especially looking back and seeing how great you start to feel. I'm also joining yet again the 24 hour recovery thread and the nicotine support thread on this site....Good luck Zab and have a good day!!

ZaBoozer

Hey Martina,

Good on you for the six weeks. Just be very careful though, a geneticist friend of mine who works with detox warned me that it gets worse and more dangerous every time we do this. That has scared the beJesus out of me. I never ever want that first day and night again.

I think I am different there, I don't have an urge to drink. Rather I drank to keep myself occupied and to escape the emotional turmoil and problems around me. Most of my professional life I have spent away from home. So I was always in some pub with colleagues. In my case it became a habit and then later on a crutch. I was stupid, but I did not have any other way of dealing with it and I was too stupid to see the wake up signs.

The surfing really helps. I had to resort to it a lot for anxiety on day two. The journal is great as I think we forget too easily how bad it was to stop. It is always good to go back and read if you want to have that drink. Just to remind yourself of the suffering one blasted drink can cause.

Good luck to you too and have a great day.

Cheers,

ZAB

ZaBoozer

Hi all,

So, it is the end of day five for me.

It was a particularly trying day, especially with regards to emotion. I did manage to to the grocery shopping, but forgot half of what I needed to get. I did not have any anxiety walking around the shop with all the people, I just somehow forgot. Maybe I was just to involved in observing everything happening around me. After all, I have not done this sober in years.

The rest of my day was spent reading people's posts here on SR and a book on my kindle. I am still chomping away on chocolate to spoil myself. I am eating like an army. My smoking has come down to 30 fags a day now. I did a flight on my flight sim from Ireland to Portugal and it was fascinating. The first time I have ever flown the simulator sober. I could not believe how life like it was.

I did not have any anxiety attacks. I thought I would ride the headache out that I awoke with - eventually I was forced to take something for it. I have a very feint headache now. I can just feel the brain mist, so I think it fades with time. The shaking of the hands is barely perceptible at this stage. The burning sensation that I had under the skin down the side of my face is almost gone. I bought some apples, but I am not sure if that is the correct fruit to eat for recovery?

I am still drinking copious amounts of water, although I did have six of the Becks non-alcoholic beers during the day. The pain in my kidneys has gone. No sweats or shivering today. One thing I forgot to mention - I used to have this star flake like objects falling at the periphery of my vision. That has been gone the last two days. My urine is clear when I wake up - used to be a almost red color, so God alone knows what damage I did there. Muscle control continues to get better every day. I am actually getting around to tasks around the house and it is not a hassle to do things.

All in all, I can honestly say, I have more energy now. When I was drinking, it was always an excuse to sit around and have another drink. Now it seems as if you cannot wait to get things done. I woke at five this morning for a piddle and forced myself back to bed where I slept until, seven. I then forced myself to stay there and dosed off until nine. What luxury.

For all of those of you worrying about withdrawal and those sort of things, I can honestly say that how I feel at this moment makes it all worth it.

Hopefully tonight sleep will come even easier and be even longer. I cannot describe how strange it feels to go to sleep sober. Scary at first, but it becomes peaceful.

Anyway, enough rambling for one evening.

Be strong out there and be safe.

Cheers

ZAB

tabasco

Be very kind to yourself. treat yourself to some wonderful breakfasts, start to eat lots of fruit for sugar. Please be as kind to yourself as you can. Please keep up the journal, you wright very well, and it is inspiring to very many, I am sure.