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Originally Posted by tabasco 
Be very kind to yourself. treat yourself to some wonderful breakfasts, start to eat lots of fruit for sugar. Please be as kind to yourself as you can. Please keep up the journal, you wright very well, and it is inspiring to very many, I am sure.
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I was thinking you have FBA Za. Drinking almost a litre of scotch a night? And then needing it to get through the mornings - full blown alcoholism...
I must have missed part of the story because you said you were a scotch drinker and after the announcement of you wife incident you were onto vodka...
I hope you are doing well. Vitamins - B and chocolate is good to get you through the initial cravings... try to rest and eat, also get outside for some air, take short walks at least...
I must have missed part of the story because you said you were a scotch drinker and after the announcement of you wife incident you were onto vodka...
I hope you are doing well. Vitamins - B and chocolate is good to get you through the initial cravings... try to rest and eat, also get outside for some air, take short walks at least...
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What an inspiring journal, thanks for sharing this here, although my detox was not as bad as you describe the initial 'waking from a dreamknightmare' thing did take some time to lift.
I think your doing a great thing, keep doing good things for yourself.
I also read loads to start, especially here and for things of interest to me e.g. Music, articles, healthy living etc...
Enjoy the ACE effect 💫
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
I think your doing a great thing, keep doing good things for yourself.
I also read loads to start, especially here and for things of interest to me e.g. Music, articles, healthy living etc...
Enjoy the ACE effect 💫
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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Sweat happens when you withdraw, so do you vivid dreams, tremors, anxiety, anxiety and ,.... anxiety. It happens during withdrawal. I also get very, very vivid dreams, and feelings that I'm outside my body. It's wild stuff, but ya know what? It goes away in less than a week. Stick with it, man, and it will FEEL a lot longer than it actually IS.
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Originally Posted by LBrain
I was thinking you have FBA Za. Drinking almost a litre of scotch a night? And then needing it to get through the mornings - full blown alcoholism... I must have missed part of the story because you said you were a scotch drinker and after the announcement of you wife incident you were onto vodka... I hope you are doing well. Vitamins - B and chocolate is good to get you through the initial cravings... try to rest and eat, also get outside for some air, take short walks at least...
500ml scotch per week night. 1000ml per night on a weekend. After the wife incident I was drinking vodka during working hours as I had been told that you can't smell it. I would still have the scotch in the evening. Yes FBA.
Ta for the advice, I am doing most of that. Easing myself back into running slowly.
Cheers
ZAB
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Originally Posted by FLGuy34
Sweat happens when you withdraw, so do you vivid dreams, tremors, anxiety, anxiety and ,.... anxiety. It happens during withdrawal. I also get very, very vivid dreams, and feelings that I'm outside my body. It's wild stuff, but ya know what? It goes away in less than a week. Stick with it, man, and it will FEEL a lot longer than it actually IS.
I am very lucky, the dreams, sweat, anxiety and tremors have passed. The things that are plaguing me now are the headaches, brain mist, slightly shaking hands. Every once in a while I still get a slight convulsion as I am dozing off. It sort of feels like someone hit you on the top of the head and as it travels down your spine and out your toes, your body arches involuntarily with it. The first night they were very violent, but now it is so mild it is hardly noticeable.
Cheers,
ZAB
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Originally Posted by CelticZebra
What an inspiring journal, thanks for sharing this here, although my detox was not as bad as you describe the initial 'waking from a dreamknightmare' thing did take some time to lift. I think your doing a great thing, keep doing good things for yourself. I also read loads to start, especially here and for things of interest to me e.g. Music, articles, healthy living etc... Enjoy the ACE effect ddcab Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
I was a very heavy drinker for a very long time. So that might be why I felt so bad. No fun to need four double vodkas at 6:30am after polishing half a bottle of scotch the night before.
ACE effect ddcab?
I have always found solace in reading, seems that not many do these days.
Cheers
ZAB
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The Abstinent Commitment Effect (ACE) is a way of describing that feeling when realisation about the simplicity of the mantra 'I NEVER drink.' It's an AVRT thing and totally floored me and was one of the single best moments of my life. I've never drunk since then and I never now drink either. Hope this explains Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself.
Can't seem to explain what I mean very well so I'll say continued best wishes on your journey
Can't seem to explain what I mean very well so I'll say continued best wishes on your journey
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Originally Posted by ZaBoozer
Ta CZ, I have always found solace in reading, seems that not many do these days. Cheers ZAB
It's an addictive thirst for knowledge I've had since forever.
Just don't believe everything you read!
Continued peace to you
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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Awesome thread and VERY inspiring. I just finished day 5 and can definitely relate to the appetite. I'm eating twice as much as normal. But then again, by not drinking I've eliminated an estimated 1400 calories a day!
And I feel you on the whole "not being able to sleep" thing. I plan on buying some sleeping pills tomorrow.
Keep up the inspiring work!!!
And I feel you on the whole "not being able to sleep" thing. I plan on buying some sleeping pills tomorrow.
Keep up the inspiring work!!!
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Originally Posted by MPV
Thanks for recommending I take a read at this thread, ZaBoozer. I hope that your 'new sense of confidence' is continuing to build. See you around.
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Originally Posted by NewJosh
Awesome thread and VERY inspiring. I just finished day 5 and can definitely relate to the appetite. I'm eating twice as much as normal. But then again, by not drinking I've eliminated an estimated 1400 calories a day! And I feel you on the whole "not being able to sleep" thing. I plan on buying some sleeping pills tomorrow. Keep up the inspiring work!!!
The eating thing is really a blessing. I am tasting so much more and relishing it in even my normal food stuffs.
I am not sure about the sleeping tabs, but your doctor or others on SR would know better.
Will do
Cheers,
ZaB
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Morning all,
It is the start of day six.
Sleep did not come easily last night at all. I was tired, but sleep would just not come. Eventually as I was dozing off, I was hit by the blasted convulsion. Very minor, but just enough to drag you back. Once back the convulsions came in fifteen minute cycles. Funny, no elevated BP; anxiety or anything. I did eventually drop off, but woke every one hour or so. Maybe I slept too late yesterday morning.
I woke up feeling famished again. Funnily enough I do not have the blasted headache this morning. Again, no sign of the acetone burping. No signs of distress or anxiety. I think I did dream last night, but for the life of me I would not be able to tell you about what. The burning sensation under the skin on the side of my face is just perceptible. The area of the sensation has decreased. My hands are actually very steady this morning. The brain mist is only just perceptible. Urine clear again - very relieving to me as I thought I had damaged my kidneys beyond repair. When I was drinking it used to be painful to urinate, not so anymore.
I do not have cravings to drink and I am enjoying this feeling of being in control of myself too much to want to be under the control of booze. I don't have to worry about being caught behind the wheel or anything. It is a pleasure to be able to get in my car and go where I want without worrying about getting caught for a DUI. They are lax here in SA, but it is not a responsible thing to do. Trust me I have done enough of it.
It is the end of summer here and is starting to get chilly. All the more reason for me to sort things out around the house.
So where do I stand on day six. Well I see marked improvement. Concentration increases almost exponentially every day. The same applies to efficiency. I feel as if I am almost at the end of the hangover I spoke about earlier in my analogy. The thing is once you get sober, all those emotions are going to hit you like a tonne of bricks. Trust me, you are in a better if not stronger place to deal with it. Things slowly become clearer. I am not saying that you will become Kasparov and have every strategy and every move to deal with everything. What I am saying is that you start to make sounder, clearer decisions. Sure, you are going to feel sorry for yourself. Sure, you are going to feel shite for the trouble you have caused or people you have hurt. But that is part of the healing or grieving process. This all takes time. There is a good thread on regrets here on SR with some very sound advice given. All I can add to that is that you have to learn to forgive yourself first, before you can learn to forgive others.
So, my plans for the day. Well I am going to go get those shirts and then get the rest of the groceries I forgot to get yesterday. I will probably have a very greasy breakfast somewhere. I am enjoying the fatty food now while I can as I know that I am going to have to start eating the healthy foods soon. I will probably go for a walk/run/walk later (runners will know what this means - fartlek) 😄 I am still not in the position to go out to a restaurant yet - the habit is too strong. I cannot believe that this is my first sober Sunday in God know how many years.
Anyway people, enough rambling from me.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
It is the start of day six.
Sleep did not come easily last night at all. I was tired, but sleep would just not come. Eventually as I was dozing off, I was hit by the blasted convulsion. Very minor, but just enough to drag you back. Once back the convulsions came in fifteen minute cycles. Funny, no elevated BP; anxiety or anything. I did eventually drop off, but woke every one hour or so. Maybe I slept too late yesterday morning.
I woke up feeling famished again. Funnily enough I do not have the blasted headache this morning. Again, no sign of the acetone burping. No signs of distress or anxiety. I think I did dream last night, but for the life of me I would not be able to tell you about what. The burning sensation under the skin on the side of my face is just perceptible. The area of the sensation has decreased. My hands are actually very steady this morning. The brain mist is only just perceptible. Urine clear again - very relieving to me as I thought I had damaged my kidneys beyond repair. When I was drinking it used to be painful to urinate, not so anymore.
I do not have cravings to drink and I am enjoying this feeling of being in control of myself too much to want to be under the control of booze. I don't have to worry about being caught behind the wheel or anything. It is a pleasure to be able to get in my car and go where I want without worrying about getting caught for a DUI. They are lax here in SA, but it is not a responsible thing to do. Trust me I have done enough of it.
It is the end of summer here and is starting to get chilly. All the more reason for me to sort things out around the house.
So where do I stand on day six. Well I see marked improvement. Concentration increases almost exponentially every day. The same applies to efficiency. I feel as if I am almost at the end of the hangover I spoke about earlier in my analogy. The thing is once you get sober, all those emotions are going to hit you like a tonne of bricks. Trust me, you are in a better if not stronger place to deal with it. Things slowly become clearer. I am not saying that you will become Kasparov and have every strategy and every move to deal with everything. What I am saying is that you start to make sounder, clearer decisions. Sure, you are going to feel sorry for yourself. Sure, you are going to feel shite for the trouble you have caused or people you have hurt. But that is part of the healing or grieving process. This all takes time. There is a good thread on regrets here on SR with some very sound advice given. All I can add to that is that you have to learn to forgive yourself first, before you can learn to forgive others.
So, my plans for the day. Well I am going to go get those shirts and then get the rest of the groceries I forgot to get yesterday. I will probably have a very greasy breakfast somewhere. I am enjoying the fatty food now while I can as I know that I am going to have to start eating the healthy foods soon. I will probably go for a walk/run/walk later (runners will know what this means - fartlek) 😄 I am still not in the position to go out to a restaurant yet - the habit is too strong. I cannot believe that this is my first sober Sunday in God know how many years.
Anyway people, enough rambling from me.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers,
ZAB
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Hey all,
Well it is the end of day six for me. I think I might have spoken to quickly about not having a headache this morning, because it hit me with a vengeance shortly after that post. So, I am still getting the headache. My geneticist buddy told me that it might be that I am drinking too much water. I am drinking roughly four liters of water in an evening. I am going to look into this and see if cutting my consumption back to three liters over the whole day helps.
Other than that, no anxiety or panic. The brain mist has lifted this evening. I will be in a better position to see if it comes back tomorrow at work. No shivering or sweating and the acetone burp is definitely gone. I still have the slight tremor in my hands, but it is barely perceptible.
I still have the insatiable appetite. Somehow this hole inside me does not seem to fill. I am spoiling myself rotten chocolate and ice cream. I am feeling tired this evening, although it is not too late. I hope the insomnia monster stays at bay.
I went to the store and bought those shirts. I even bought some trousers and socks too. I actually had fun and was in no rush. Funny, I hated shopping with my wife, but I've worked it out - then I could not wait to get home to my next drink. It is strange how different things are when you're sober. The world seems to take on a different hue. While on a roll, I went to the barber and had a haircut. Amazing - two things in one day. And as if that were not enough, I even went to the grocery store and bought the things that I forgot to get yesterday. Things really are different when you're sober. I then decided to spoil myself with a large greasy breakfast.
As I write this post, I am sitting in bed smoking a cigarette and munching on some chocolate. I have one of those e-cigarettes, so I think that I am going to have to switch to that soon.
I have to say, when I was drinking, I was pretty much a slave to the TV. Since I have stopped, I think I switched the TV on once for five minutes. Somehow I can't get into it.
This has been my first sober weekend in God knows how long. I've been reading through the posts here on SR to keep me motivated. I can honestly say that I am not craving a drink. These are still early days and I know that I have a long way to go still. I am learning to crawl at this stage. For those of you reading this and worrying about giving up - don't. It really does get better every day. I know that it is a cliche and I don't expect you to believe me, but give it a go for yourselves and you'll see what I am talking about.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers
ZAB
Well it is the end of day six for me. I think I might have spoken to quickly about not having a headache this morning, because it hit me with a vengeance shortly after that post. So, I am still getting the headache. My geneticist buddy told me that it might be that I am drinking too much water. I am drinking roughly four liters of water in an evening. I am going to look into this and see if cutting my consumption back to three liters over the whole day helps.
Other than that, no anxiety or panic. The brain mist has lifted this evening. I will be in a better position to see if it comes back tomorrow at work. No shivering or sweating and the acetone burp is definitely gone. I still have the slight tremor in my hands, but it is barely perceptible.
I still have the insatiable appetite. Somehow this hole inside me does not seem to fill. I am spoiling myself rotten chocolate and ice cream. I am feeling tired this evening, although it is not too late. I hope the insomnia monster stays at bay.
I went to the store and bought those shirts. I even bought some trousers and socks too. I actually had fun and was in no rush. Funny, I hated shopping with my wife, but I've worked it out - then I could not wait to get home to my next drink. It is strange how different things are when you're sober. The world seems to take on a different hue. While on a roll, I went to the barber and had a haircut. Amazing - two things in one day. And as if that were not enough, I even went to the grocery store and bought the things that I forgot to get yesterday. Things really are different when you're sober. I then decided to spoil myself with a large greasy breakfast.
As I write this post, I am sitting in bed smoking a cigarette and munching on some chocolate. I have one of those e-cigarettes, so I think that I am going to have to switch to that soon.
I have to say, when I was drinking, I was pretty much a slave to the TV. Since I have stopped, I think I switched the TV on once for five minutes. Somehow I can't get into it.
This has been my first sober weekend in God knows how long. I've been reading through the posts here on SR to keep me motivated. I can honestly say that I am not craving a drink. These are still early days and I know that I have a long way to go still. I am learning to crawl at this stage. For those of you reading this and worrying about giving up - don't. It really does get better every day. I know that it is a cliche and I don't expect you to believe me, but give it a go for yourselves and you'll see what I am talking about.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers
ZAB
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Originally Posted by CelticZebra
Congrats on a sober weekend and hope things go well tonight & tomorrow for you
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
Driving my wagon of hope through beautiful views on my road to myself
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Hi all,
Well it is the morning of day seven.
Well the insomnia monster was not so bad last night. Sleep did not come easily, but when it did it was uneventful. I did have a few light convulsions, but that seems to be getting better. I still woke with the headache, but as stated earlier, I am going to investigate the water intake to see if that helps.
No shivering and shaking. No sweating. My hands still have the slight shaking. I am famished. The brain mist seems to be gone for now. The burning sensation under the skin seems to be only in my left cheek now. It is not as noticeable as before. I do not have pain in my kidneys anymore.
Muscle control is coming back in leaps and bounds. Hard to believe that I was a gibbering wreck a week ago.
Smoking is still an issue. I am smoking way to much and I know that I need to give it up. I think today is the day that I am going to tackle some exercise. I think that my body really needs it after the punishment of all the booze.
Reflecting back over the past seven days I would have to say that from a physical perspective that it does get better every day. Your body starts to recover from the alcohol and you notice the effects as the changes happen quite rapidly. It is almost as if you are observing yourself from a third persons perspective i.e. you are looking at yourself from outside your own body. The shivering; shaking and sweats disappear rather quickly. The things that lasted for me are the headaches, insomnia, shanking hands; brain mist; fatigue and burning sensation under the skin. Your appetite returns very early on in the recovery.
From a mental perspective, your mind begins to sharpen from day two. It only gets better. Your powers of concentration increase almost exponentially every day. It is a great feeling to know that you haven't completely fried your mind. You are able to concentrate for longer periods at a time. This was something I found difficult when drinking as I would find my mind wandering all over the place.
In the beginning it is quite scary to go to sleep sober. It is a very strange feeling. Over the days you start to look forward to it as it becomes a peaceful almost comforting feeling. I cannot say whether I have been dreaming or not as I do not recall anything.
The thing that does step in and get stronger as you begin to sober up is emotion. Whether it be depression; happiness; fear; sorrow; grief - it begins to form part of your life. Perhaps when we drink we suppress the majority of emotions or perhaps we experience them to the extreme. The experience of emotion while being sober is completely different to that when we were drinking. For a start, it is more intense. In the first few days, it is all over the place. One minute you are happy and the next, inexplicably sad. As the days go by, you start to spend more time in each emotion. The swings take time. I think this is a good thing as it gives you more time with each feeling to analyse it and feel it. I can only say embrace it. If you're sad and feel like crying - do so. If you're happy and feel like laughing - do so. And if you have someone to share it with - do so. Do not hide it from them. To supress it is only doing what the alcohol did to us.
So in summary, It is day seven for me. I feel good physically and mentally. It is still early on in the day so I cannot comment much on emotion. I will do that in tonight's entry. I still do not have any craving to drink. I have had the AV a few times, but that is psychological - not physical in my case.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers
ZAB
Well it is the morning of day seven.
Well the insomnia monster was not so bad last night. Sleep did not come easily, but when it did it was uneventful. I did have a few light convulsions, but that seems to be getting better. I still woke with the headache, but as stated earlier, I am going to investigate the water intake to see if that helps.
No shivering and shaking. No sweating. My hands still have the slight shaking. I am famished. The brain mist seems to be gone for now. The burning sensation under the skin seems to be only in my left cheek now. It is not as noticeable as before. I do not have pain in my kidneys anymore.
Muscle control is coming back in leaps and bounds. Hard to believe that I was a gibbering wreck a week ago.
Smoking is still an issue. I am smoking way to much and I know that I need to give it up. I think today is the day that I am going to tackle some exercise. I think that my body really needs it after the punishment of all the booze.
Reflecting back over the past seven days I would have to say that from a physical perspective that it does get better every day. Your body starts to recover from the alcohol and you notice the effects as the changes happen quite rapidly. It is almost as if you are observing yourself from a third persons perspective i.e. you are looking at yourself from outside your own body. The shivering; shaking and sweats disappear rather quickly. The things that lasted for me are the headaches, insomnia, shanking hands; brain mist; fatigue and burning sensation under the skin. Your appetite returns very early on in the recovery.
From a mental perspective, your mind begins to sharpen from day two. It only gets better. Your powers of concentration increase almost exponentially every day. It is a great feeling to know that you haven't completely fried your mind. You are able to concentrate for longer periods at a time. This was something I found difficult when drinking as I would find my mind wandering all over the place.
In the beginning it is quite scary to go to sleep sober. It is a very strange feeling. Over the days you start to look forward to it as it becomes a peaceful almost comforting feeling. I cannot say whether I have been dreaming or not as I do not recall anything.
The thing that does step in and get stronger as you begin to sober up is emotion. Whether it be depression; happiness; fear; sorrow; grief - it begins to form part of your life. Perhaps when we drink we suppress the majority of emotions or perhaps we experience them to the extreme. The experience of emotion while being sober is completely different to that when we were drinking. For a start, it is more intense. In the first few days, it is all over the place. One minute you are happy and the next, inexplicably sad. As the days go by, you start to spend more time in each emotion. The swings take time. I think this is a good thing as it gives you more time with each feeling to analyse it and feel it. I can only say embrace it. If you're sad and feel like crying - do so. If you're happy and feel like laughing - do so. And if you have someone to share it with - do so. Do not hide it from them. To supress it is only doing what the alcohol did to us.
So in summary, It is day seven for me. I feel good physically and mentally. It is still early on in the day so I cannot comment much on emotion. I will do that in tonight's entry. I still do not have any craving to drink. I have had the AV a few times, but that is psychological - not physical in my case.
Be safe and be strong.
Cheers
ZAB
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