Class of January 2014 Part 2
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by ArcticSA 
It happened last night. My craving got worse and worse until it was a huge urge that felt like a burning in my chest. I was worried my hubby would bring it up, but no, it was my idea.
I went through the whole scenario, trying to talk myself out of it, the shame, the guilt, the hangover. And at the end I said "I don't care"
Didn't go overboard too bad, six beers. So not a bad hangover, but yeah the guilt is there.
I don't know what to do next time I get in that situation. It was all my fault noone else. And I intentionally drank.
Now Im really scared and am thinking that I am gonna need AA or a prescription or something.
I went through the whole scenario, trying to talk myself out of it, the shame, the guilt, the hangover. And at the end I said "I don't care"
Didn't go overboard too bad, six beers. So not a bad hangover, but yeah the guilt is there.
I don't know what to do next time I get in that situation. It was all my fault noone else. And I intentionally drank.
Now Im really scared and am thinking that I am gonna need AA or a prescription or something.
Maybe it would help if you could find an accountability partner. Somebody to help hold you responsible that you can confide in. Kind of like an AA sponsor, minus the meetings.
I will say don't give up, you are worth it.
Pure Radio Rental
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Off course, of course.
Posts: 952
Originally Posted by Limbo75
Hey class of January 2014, am visiting from the class of January 2012 to say HI and GOOD LUCK!
When I joined my class 2 years ago a few days into my sobriety I did not even dare to dream of still being here 2 years later, even 1 month was to much to contemplate. What worked the best for me was to break it down into a day, one day at a time. If I could wake up in the morning and just focus on making it through the day then it felt easier, a wonderful man told me that just like I cannot breathe in advance for tomorrow neither can I be sober in advance. Somehow the days added up and it got easier, 2 years later my obsession with alcohol is not a daily struggle and life is better then it has ever been. So to all you in your early days, just focus on today and let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.
Love, Limbo
When I joined my class 2 years ago a few days into my sobriety I did not even dare to dream of still being here 2 years later, even 1 month was to much to contemplate. What worked the best for me was to break it down into a day, one day at a time. If I could wake up in the morning and just focus on making it through the day then it felt easier, a wonderful man told me that just like I cannot breathe in advance for tomorrow neither can I be sober in advance. Somehow the days added up and it got easier, 2 years later my obsession with alcohol is not a daily struggle and life is better then it has ever been. So to all you in your early days, just focus on today and let tomorrow take care of tomorrow.
Love, Limbo
It's posts like yours that inspire me to stay the course.
Brava!
D.D.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 38
Originally Posted by ronjohn
I wish I had pearls of wisdom for you... I hope there are some long timers on here that could offer advice.
Maybe it would help if you could find an accountability partner. Somebody to help hold you responsible that you can confide in. Kind of like an AA sponsor, minus the meetings.
I will say don't give up, you are worth it.
Maybe it would help if you could find an accountability partner. Somebody to help hold you responsible that you can confide in. Kind of like an AA sponsor, minus the meetings.
I will say don't give up, you are worth it.
ronjohn...I do want all of those Southern recipes! (Minus the six pack.)
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 47
Odelle and ronjohn - Thanks for responses.
Admittedly the "purpose" journey took me a while. I started with some high-level values I wanted for myself. Things like Integrity, Faith, Love, Compassion, Excellence and Discipline.
Then I broke that into lifelong goals I wanted to achieve in the following areas: Health, Family/Friends, Faith, Personal Development, Business/Career, Professional Relationships, and Finances.
What I found that both my values and lifelong goals were mutually reinforcing with each other, and none of that mutual reinforcement was supported by continuing to drink.
Everything is a work in progress, but start with something you are most passionate about it, and just take action. The rest will fall into place over time.
I'm sure if you ask me in a year my purpose will change significantly, but it helped me to think of having a bigger purpose than just going through the motions and "getting through the day" everyday for the rest of my life. It's working for now, that's all I can really hope for. Everyone is unique and special, find what works for you and go with it.
Admittedly the "purpose" journey took me a while. I started with some high-level values I wanted for myself. Things like Integrity, Faith, Love, Compassion, Excellence and Discipline.
Then I broke that into lifelong goals I wanted to achieve in the following areas: Health, Family/Friends, Faith, Personal Development, Business/Career, Professional Relationships, and Finances.
What I found that both my values and lifelong goals were mutually reinforcing with each other, and none of that mutual reinforcement was supported by continuing to drink.
Everything is a work in progress, but start with something you are most passionate about it, and just take action. The rest will fall into place over time.
I'm sure if you ask me in a year my purpose will change significantly, but it helped me to think of having a bigger purpose than just going through the motions and "getting through the day" everyday for the rest of my life. It's working for now, that's all I can really hope for. Everyone is unique and special, find what works for you and go with it.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Surprise AZ
Posts: 293
Hey all, a few days ago I committed to getting sober and posted in the January thread...and I didn't even make it past day 1. Well I'm back to try again... it was stupid, all day at work that day I was so excited about trying to quit again and had been firing myself up all day for it, however every 30 min or so my brain was telling me "you're out of beer...dont forget to stop at QT on the way home". Then I would remember "Oh yeah! Im not drinking anymore". I swear I kept having that same conversation with myself every half hour or so while at work. It finally just got so maddening I said screw it, stopping today is a bad idea... so I try again...today
Its starting to scare me...starting to think that its impossible for me to quit. I had gotten off Meth over 12 years and it seems to me that was way easier to quit than alcohol. I guess maybe the difference from then to now is that I had hit such a rock bottom back then, and my life had become so terribly unmanageable. Now my life is not so unmanageable, I have a good job that pays pretty well, (same job 11 years) I dont drink at work...often...and I never call in sick. My poison these days is just beer...sometimes ill drink 6 a night, sometimes 10. but on the weekends its quite a bit more and I usually start at around 10am.
I have a great support system with my friends and family who support me unconditionally no matter what I do, or do not do. I think sometimes they think I would rather drink at home by myself sometimes rather than hang out with them in a place that has no alcohol, and they are probably right. I have become terribly reclusive.
Anyway, I think at this point I am just rambling, but I thank everyone here on SR for being understanding and knowing what I am going through.
Its starting to scare me...starting to think that its impossible for me to quit. I had gotten off Meth over 12 years and it seems to me that was way easier to quit than alcohol. I guess maybe the difference from then to now is that I had hit such a rock bottom back then, and my life had become so terribly unmanageable. Now my life is not so unmanageable, I have a good job that pays pretty well, (same job 11 years) I dont drink at work...often...and I never call in sick. My poison these days is just beer...sometimes ill drink 6 a night, sometimes 10. but on the weekends its quite a bit more and I usually start at around 10am.
I have a great support system with my friends and family who support me unconditionally no matter what I do, or do not do. I think sometimes they think I would rather drink at home by myself sometimes rather than hang out with them in a place that has no alcohol, and they are probably right. I have become terribly reclusive.
Anyway, I think at this point I am just rambling, but I thank everyone here on SR for being understanding and knowing what I am going through.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 38
IreLander, I am glad you're back! I understand what you mean about quitting meth, which did seem easier at the time for me as well, until I realized I had just replaced one addiction with another. So this is definitely harder this time around.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Hi Irelander, welcome back 
I had a slip too but at least we are back right now and giving it everything.
I know the feeling about battling the AV as well, it is completely relentless and by the end of the day I'm just worn down with it.
Back to work tomorrow or me which will at least keep me busy. Hoping I get some decent sleep (insomnia is the main reason I started to drink I. The first place.)
I had a slip too but at least we are back right now and giving it everything.I know the feeling about battling the AV as well, it is completely relentless and by the end of the day I'm just worn down with it.
Back to work tomorrow or me which will at least keep me busy. Hoping I get some decent sleep (insomnia is the main reason I started to drink I. The first place.)
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: Finland
Posts: 20
Day 5 wen't fine. Wen't to gym earlier and came back to my apartment from parents place and now all alone with my computer and that's why I have small cravings and minor headache. Still feeling blue and my mind is pouring with questions unanswered. Hope everyone is doing fine.
Maybe some video gaming for now and warm cup of lemon tea.
Maybe some video gaming for now and warm cup of lemon tea.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2014
Location: US
Posts: 195
Originally Posted by IreLander
Hey all, a few days ago I committed to getting sober and posted in the January thread...and I didn't even make it past day 1. Well I'm back to try again... it was stupid, all day at work that day I was so excited about trying to quit again and had been firing myself up all day for it, however every 30 min or so my brain was telling me "you're out of beer...dont forget to stop at QT on the way home". Then I would remember "Oh yeah! Im not drinking anymore". I swear I kept having that same conversation with myself every half hour or so while at work. It finally just got so maddening I said screw it, stopping today is a bad idea... so I try again...today
Its starting to scare me...starting to think that its impossible for me to quit. I had gotten off Meth over 12 years and it seems to me that was way easier to quit than alcohol. I guess maybe the difference from then to now is that I had hit such a rock bottom back then, and my life had become so terribly unmanageable. Now my life is not so unmanageable, I have a good job that pays pretty well, (same job 11 years) I dont drink at work...often...and I never call in sick. My poison these days is just beer...sometimes ill drink 6 a night, sometimes 10. but on the weekends its quite a bit more and I usually start at around 10am.
I have a great support system with my friends and family who support me unconditionally no matter what I do, or do not do. I think sometimes they think I would rather drink at home by myself sometimes rather than hang out with them in a place that has no alcohol, and they are probably right. I have become terribly reclusive.
Anyway, I think at this point I am just rambling, but I thank everyone here on SR for being understanding and knowing what I am going through.
Its starting to scare me...starting to think that its impossible for me to quit. I had gotten off Meth over 12 years and it seems to me that was way easier to quit than alcohol. I guess maybe the difference from then to now is that I had hit such a rock bottom back then, and my life had become so terribly unmanageable. Now my life is not so unmanageable, I have a good job that pays pretty well, (same job 11 years) I dont drink at work...often...and I never call in sick. My poison these days is just beer...sometimes ill drink 6 a night, sometimes 10. but on the weekends its quite a bit more and I usually start at around 10am.
I have a great support system with my friends and family who support me unconditionally no matter what I do, or do not do. I think sometimes they think I would rather drink at home by myself sometimes rather than hang out with them in a place that has no alcohol, and they are probably right. I have become terribly reclusive.
Anyway, I think at this point I am just rambling, but I thank everyone here on SR for being understanding and knowing what I am going through.
Waiting until you hit rock bottom is not the best time to wait for. Try and find a motivation and focus on that. When your AV speaks you can focus on what you want to quit for.
Keep on trying my friend. Most of us here are in the same boat as you and can relate to you.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Hi all, just finishing up day 3 here, Still having horrible awful cold sweats (as usual at this point) and nightmares when I do fall asleep which hasn't been much the last few days. Ive got to say that the last binge there has really physically knocked me and I know Ive got to stop now, the kinding effect seems to still be in full force with the detox getting rapidly worse each time. Im back to work tomorrow so hoping to get some sleep tonight and into more of a normal routine from tomorrow. Im also of thinking of going back to AA again, I went three times last year but found it very depressing so decided id just quit on my own (and we all know how that turned out lol). I know I needed to give it longer and try different groups though so will look into it again.
Grindilow: Im a total insomniac at the best of times and also feel that it contributes a huge amount to me drinking (and drinking can cause insomnia so I know that treadmill lol)
Hope everybody managed to get through the weekend sober and for those that slipped just start right over again! X
Grindilow: Im a total insomniac at the best of times and also feel that it contributes a huge amount to me drinking (and drinking can cause insomnia so I know that treadmill lol)
Hope everybody managed to get through the weekend sober and for those that slipped just start right over again! X
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 943
Originally Posted by EagerforChange
Odelle and ronjohn - Thanks for responses.
Admittedly the "purpose" journey took me a while. I started with some high-level values I wanted for myself. Things like Integrity, Faith, Love, Compassion, Excellence and Discipline.
Then I broke that into lifelong goals I wanted to achieve in the following areas: Health, Family/Friends, Faith, Personal Development, Business/Career, Professional Relationships, and Finances.
What I found that both my values and lifelong goals were mutually reinforcing with each other, and none of that mutual reinforcement was supported by continuing to drink.
Everything is a work in progress, but start with something you are most passionate about it, and just take action. The rest will fall into place over time.
I'm sure if you ask me in a year my purpose will change significantly, but it helped me to think of having a bigger purpose than just going through the motions and "getting through the day" everyday for the rest of my life. It's working for now, that's all I can really hope for. Everyone is unique and special, find what works for you and go with it.
Admittedly the "purpose" journey took me a while. I started with some high-level values I wanted for myself. Things like Integrity, Faith, Love, Compassion, Excellence and Discipline.
Then I broke that into lifelong goals I wanted to achieve in the following areas: Health, Family/Friends, Faith, Personal Development, Business/Career, Professional Relationships, and Finances.
What I found that both my values and lifelong goals were mutually reinforcing with each other, and none of that mutual reinforcement was supported by continuing to drink.
Everything is a work in progress, but start with something you are most passionate about it, and just take action. The rest will fall into place over time.
I'm sure if you ask me in a year my purpose will change significantly, but it helped me to think of having a bigger purpose than just going through the motions and "getting through the day" everyday for the rest of my life. It's working for now, that's all I can really hope for. Everyone is unique and special, find what works for you and go with it.
X
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 186
Hi all
Just posting in-I benefit so much from visiting SR-thank you all.
Today has been ok for me-made plans and kept them, so i was busy, which has helped tremendously.
Lulu- I am sorry you are having such unpleasant physical symptoms. Panic can be awful and frightening. A trip to the dr may be in order?
Arctic- I have done that before- made a decision to drink after contemplating all the consequences, thought 'stuff it'. That was six months ago and only now am I trying properly to quit again, so your approach to get straight back into it seems smart. You are right tho, that you'll need another plan of defence.
Adele- I too am adopting the approach that I need to fix one thing not everything at once. If I'm drinking tea, not wine and I want a biscuit with my tea, in the meantime, a biscuit I will have!
Best wishes to all my classmates
Carly
Just posting in-I benefit so much from visiting SR-thank you all.
Today has been ok for me-made plans and kept them, so i was busy, which has helped tremendously.
Lulu- I am sorry you are having such unpleasant physical symptoms. Panic can be awful and frightening. A trip to the dr may be in order?
Arctic- I have done that before- made a decision to drink after contemplating all the consequences, thought 'stuff it'. That was six months ago and only now am I trying properly to quit again, so your approach to get straight back into it seems smart. You are right tho, that you'll need another plan of defence.
Adele- I too am adopting the approach that I need to fix one thing not everything at once. If I'm drinking tea, not wine and I want a biscuit with my tea, in the meantime, a biscuit I will have!
Best wishes to all my classmates
Carly
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 246
any one feel like they have been gritting their teeth?
First congratulations class, we are doing as good as we can! 
My Jaw....(tmi)"wow, I can see impressions in my tongue.
It was even a pretty good day.
sneaky my mind is saying "okay, your cool."
but my physical state belies that fact.
interesting.
My Jaw....(tmi)"wow, I can see impressions in my tongue.
It was even a pretty good day.
sneaky my mind is saying "okay, your cool."
but my physical state belies that fact.
interesting.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Pataphor, YES, I have been clenching my teeth, I feel the tension in my face. Funny, I'm not really aware of the action itself, but the tightness in my jaws if very noticeable. Oh well, this too shall pass.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 89
End of day 5 and feeling really good.
Bought lots of lemons last night and have had a couple squeezed with water though haven't stuck to just morning - had a glass this morning and one glass evening
Really relating to what people said today - especially the goal/purpose discussions - I'm still lacking one of those (other than the routine/grind of life) - though in a much happier place in my head
Full week work starting tomorrow after Christmas/NY disruptions so looking forward to seeing how that works and what I can achieve without tiredness etc
Glad to be part of this massive group of forward thing people
Bought lots of lemons last night and have had a couple squeezed with water
though haven't stuck to just morning - had a glass this morning and one glass evening Really relating to what people said today - especially the goal/purpose discussions - I'm still lacking one of those (other than the routine/grind of life) - though in a much happier place in my head
Full week work starting tomorrow after Christmas/NY disruptions so looking forward to seeing how that works and what I can achieve without tiredness etc
Glad to be part of this massive group of forward thing people
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
As we all know, quitting drinking is very hard, not just the physical withdrawals but the mental obsession. I really feel for those of you who have a significant other that they live with who drinks, even being around a "normal" drinking in my home would be difficult for me. So, yes, I think that AA would be helpful. Having face-to-face support and someone to call could be beneficial, especially in the early days.
Please don't despair if you have slipped, get back up and keep trying. None of us became alcoholics overnight, so it will take time to relearn how to live without the crutch that we have programmed our bodies and minds to automatically turn to in certain situations.
I did all of my grocery shopping early this morning so that I won't have a reason to stop at the store after work this week. Stopping and buying a bottle of wine after work has become a habit that I need to break. Well, it's late afternoon here and I have no need to leave the house so I have made it through the weekend. Thank you everyone!
Please don't despair if you have slipped, get back up and keep trying. None of us became alcoholics overnight, so it will take time to relearn how to live without the crutch that we have programmed our bodies and minds to automatically turn to in certain situations.
I did all of my grocery shopping early this morning so that I won't have a reason to stop at the store after work this week. Stopping and buying a bottle of wine after work has become a habit that I need to break. Well, it's late afternoon here and I have no need to leave the house so I have made it through the weekend. Thank you everyone!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Medion, I'm sitting here with a glass of lemon water right now! I love it. I will have to start giving thought to developing a plan that will give purpose to my life. Right now, it is to cook dinner and prepare a couple meals in advance for during the week.
Congratulations to everyone hitting a milestone! One day at a time, we will continue to move forward.
Congratulations to everyone hitting a milestone! One day at a time, we will continue to move forward.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: California
Posts: 2,643
Insomnia - I have suffered with insomnia forever. Emkay posted earlier about Sleepytime tea. I too have been drinking it in the evening and it has been working. I use the Sleepytime Extra (2 bags) and I am quite pleased with the results. I picked up another box today at the grocery store.
Autobrew Anon Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 599
Just finished dinner - kraft mac & cheese (the blue box) and fried potatoes - 2 things I dearly love and have not made in years! It was so good
While I'm trying to lose weight (beer belly) it seems my body is wanting to eat and eat and eat. Oh well... at least not alcohol calories.
Odelle and Pataphor - I have clenched my teeth all my life and just 2 years ago figured it out. I kept asking dentists about grinding and they kept telling me no I couldn't be, my teeth didn't show it. After having dental work and a painful time after, where my tooth hurt so bad I wanted to go to the hospital, I started surfing around the internet and read some stories of other people who clench not grind their teeth. A common solution is mouth guards while you sleep. My poor self looking for a cheap way found 98 cent ones that boys use for football (my mouth is small). I went from horrible pain to none in one night. It was like a miracle. I know you two are probably talking about stress clenching in the day, but you never know it might help if you wore one at night. Just a thought.
While I'm trying to lose weight (beer belly) it seems my body is wanting to eat and eat and eat. Oh well... at least not alcohol calories.
Odelle and Pataphor - I have clenched my teeth all my life and just 2 years ago figured it out. I kept asking dentists about grinding and they kept telling me no I couldn't be, my teeth didn't show it. After having dental work and a painful time after, where my tooth hurt so bad I wanted to go to the hospital, I started surfing around the internet and read some stories of other people who clench not grind their teeth. A common solution is mouth guards while you sleep. My poor self looking for a cheap way found 98 cent ones that boys use for football (my mouth is small). I went from horrible pain to none in one night. It was like a miracle. I know you two are probably talking about stress clenching in the day, but you never know it might help if you wore one at night. Just a thought.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 2 (0 members and 2 guests)
