Hey all, a few days ago I committed to getting sober and posted in the January thread...and I didn't even make it past day 1. Well I'm back to try again... it was stupid, all day at work that day I was so excited about trying to quit again and had been firing myself up all day for it, however every 30 min or so my brain was telling me "you're out of beer...dont forget to stop at QT on the way home". Then I would remember "Oh yeah! Im not drinking anymore". I swear I kept having that same conversation with myself every half hour or so while at work. It finally just got so maddening I said screw it, stopping today is a bad idea... so I try again...today
Its starting to scare me...starting to think that its impossible for me to quit. I had gotten off Meth over 12 years and it seems to me that was way easier to quit than alcohol. I guess maybe the difference from then to now is that I had hit such a rock bottom back then, and my life had become so terribly unmanageable. Now my life is not so unmanageable, I have a good job that pays pretty well, (same job 11 years) I dont drink at work...often...and I never call in sick. My poison these days is just beer...sometimes ill drink 6 a night, sometimes 10. but on the weekends its quite a bit more and I usually start at around 10am.
I have a great support system with my friends and family who support me unconditionally no matter what I do, or do not do. I think sometimes they think I would rather drink at home by myself sometimes rather than hang out with them in a place that has no alcohol, and they are probably right. I have become terribly reclusive.
Anyway, I think at this point I am just rambling, but I thank everyone here on SR for being understanding and knowing what I am going through.