Imabuleva

If you're an alcoholic, all of the medical research on the subject points toward the answer being a simple "No."

Nuudawn

Why do you need to know that answer? What bearing on whether you can or cannot in future have on today?

I could not concern myself with the future when I sobered up. I could only focus on my "right now". Since I had faced so much of my life drinking, well I would have to face a whole lot of new situations sober. How could I get through the first evening not drinking? How could I get through the first weekend? How could I get through the first social event? How could I get through the first dinner out with friends? How could I get through the first concert? weekend away? Sobriety became a challenge I wanted to meet. In fact I guess I wanted to meet...me. Who was I without alcohol? How could I handle anything without it? I actually became insanely curious.

Holding onto tomorrow doesn't really serve any purpose does it? Tomorrow is not in your reach or control. How about focusing on being sober in your now. Don't stress yourself with the future. It ain't here yet. You can control your right now..that's about it.

I choose not to drink. I always have that choice. No person or idea will take away my right to choose. Right now I have chosen not to negotiate alcohol as any remedy for what ails me.

orieme

I'm early in sobriety too, a couple of weeks more than you and have thought about going back to being a moderate drinker. However, when I really think about it I honestly can't think of a time where I was in control of my drinking, sure I could set myself a challenge to only have two drinks in a night but the fact I had to do that to prove something shows that I wasn't moderating.

I truly think that if you allowed yourself one day a week to drink it would soon spread to other occasions and the amounts would increase too...

Birthdays, weddings, Christmas, a good day in work, a bad day in work, some major sports event, a not-so-major event but "what the heck?", celebrating good news, coping with bad news... You see my point.

If there's one thing we're good at that is not sticking to rules, but we're even better at justifying our decisions to bend or break them.

sleepy51

I appreciate all of the replies, I understand what you are all saying, and can sympathize. perhaps I'll be on here saying the same thing to someone else in time.
In some ways I wish my detox was more painful than it was, it would be more of a deterrent to try drinking again.

yet I've had, bad days, horrible days, deaths of family and friends since I've been drinking. Yet I never have the urge to grab a bottle. I'll go out to dinner with friends and family, and everyone is drinking, and I order a coke, with no desire to join them.

my drinking became highly ritualistic, the way a normal person might to get ready for bed, I drank to get ready for bed.

since I quit, I've begun to learn how sleep normally(with a little help from ambien) without alcohol (I was taking the ambien before also).

I'm sure I'm going to try it (drinking moderately), if it doesn't work, and I feel like I might be decending back down that rabbit hole again, I'll detox and stop for good (I've have some klonopin in a safe deposit box, not literally of course), knowing that my only choice is abstinence.

dizzychainsaw

Abstinence is the only way for me. I've tried moderating my drinking and using. That never worked for me!

dizzychainsaw

I was going to have a couple of drinks for my birthday on September 3rf. Well that turned into drinking every night for a month! I crossed the invisible line to being an alcoholic and can never go back. I like page 30 and 31 of the big book where it talks about this.

autan

It depends what time of day you ask me.

In the afternoons, I say of course you can be a moderate drinker again. Why punish yourself, one drink, its your life, your money and you can do what you want.

In the evenings (if I have had my one drink, plus 6 or 12 more). I'll stop tomorrow, I might as well have one more before going to bed or 3 or 4 more.

In the mornings, I can never drink again moderately, I feel rotten, hangover, sick and another day of work. I hate alcohol.

Where is that Alcoholic Voice in the morning, telling you its ok, when you making a convincing attempt at the world projectile vommiting category.

Drinking is such as mugs game and the mug was me. No more, I have accepted, I cannot control it, so I wont even have a sip. Game Over Alcohol, game f--cking over.

deeker

don't forget this one by same person

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ml#post3951081

ExWinoMom

Hey sleepy. The way I look at it, what's so important about alcohol that you need to drink it in the first place?
I reckon the part that wants moderation is still the disease talking.
Remember that it is cunning, baffling and powerful.
Why do we want to have it at all when it causes cancer?
Because we drink for effect. We are alcoholics.

ExWinoMom

Why put all your energy into moderating alcohol when we could be serving our fellow man.

Fishy

This is basically exactly what my alcohol voice says.

I have been sober almost 2 months and have no plan to ever drink again. My alcohol voice is strong though. It goes in this order.

1. you are not an alcoholic, you just used alcohol as part of your routine.
2. You never drunk alcohol around other people and you were fine with only a coke.
3. You drank too much in one setting but it was only one off's and you could stop at only a few if you really wanted to.
4. You need to try one last time to drink socially so you know you are not an alcoholic.


I respond internally with i may not have been an alcoholic but having alcohol as part of a routine is not healthy.
I did not drink around other people because i was ashamed i would drink too much and people would notice my drinking habits.
It may have been a 1 off but it was a 1 off that was on repeat daily.
I may never know if i am an alcoholic really but a label is not important in my life. I know i had a problem with alcohol.

good luck.

Notmyrealname

I think some people can ease out of an alcohol problem and go back to "normal" consumption (there are literally hundreds of millions of people on the planet -- variety is a given with numbers that high), but those are probably not the people who end up regularly posting on recovery forums. My guess is those people just go, "meh, I need to dial it back a little," and then they do. Problem solved, now it's time to tackle those tough weeds in the backyard.

That is my theory.

Good luck with that moderating thingy..

GroundhogDay

If you start drinking again, you may never quit again. I only quit once, but other people's experiences suggest that it gets harder to quit after each relapse. Keep reading on SR and you will see what I mean.

Tamerua

All I can say is what has happened to me. I beat myself up for years because I couldn't moderate. Why can't I just have two drinks and go home? My partner would say, just have 3 max and you are good. And sometimes I could. Most times I couldn't.

Since I stopped drinking, I don't hate myself, I don't mentally berate myself and I feel awesome.

Lostmyoffswitch

I tried the same thing after almost 2 months sober. I lasted about a week and I was headfirst in the whiskey bottle again!

Mountainmanbob

you remind me of me Yameru

Most times I couldn't

Mountainman

foolsgold66

Just read the OP, no replies. I bolded the part of your post I quoted where you are lying to yourself. Believe me, don't believe me, fine either way.

Tang

This was my situation. In fact most people around drank more than me so when I told some I needed to stop they scratched their heads. I have found groups of heavy social drinkers often don't think there is any problem with having 8+ drinks. My SO says 'so just have a couple.'.

Ruturn

Sleepy, I wish you well in your endeavor. I can tell you that I read your list of rules you would follow and was struck by the fact that I had rules too, and my list became ever changing and growing because for the most part I couldn't follow it at all. Once I have that first drink, I don't stop. I would have "success" in following my own rules occasionally, and I would remember those few and far between moments and not remember the many, many more times I couldn't follow them and had varying consequences because of my drinking. Like I said, I wish you well and I hope it works for you and that you are able to moderate and control your drinking. Its taken me 20-some years to accept and admit to myself that I cannot do that, and the only choice for me is to abstain.

ovrock

NO!!! That was my downfall before I realized it was impossible...