pauladmits

Alright, first I would like to apologize to anyone I lashed out at in the last thread. I have no intentions of getting in any battles on this site. I simply want to get better and kick my addiction. I personally do not feel I am ready to go to rehab or to the doctor, so I have set up my own schedule to start freeing myself from this drug. This thread will be used to update the schedule and record some of my day to day feelings. I have set up the first month so it's more attainable. My plan if all goes according is to take an entire month off after this is all said an done just to really prove to myself I can live with out alcohol.

I'm going to be 100% honest in this thread. If I screw up, I will admit it and to the full extent of the screw up. The only way this will work is if I'm honest to myself and everyone else. I thank everyone who has been encouraging and supporting so far. It helps out tremendously. Thanks again.

Tapering Schedule Week 1

Day 1: 350mL SUCCESS!!! Total: 350mL
Day 2: 300mL
Day 3: 275mL
Day 4: 225mL
Day 5: 175mL
Day 6: 125mL
Day 7: 50mL

Week 2
Day 1: NO DRINKING
Day 2: 200mL
Day 3: 100mL
Day 4: NO DRINKING
Day 5: 150mL
Day 6: 100mL
Day 7: 50mL

Week 3
Day 1: NO DRINKING
Day 2: NO DRINKING
Day 3: 150mL
Day 4: NO DRINKING
Day 5: 100mL
Day 6: NO DRINKING
Day 7: 50mL

Week 4
1 Entire Week No Alcohol!!

After Week 4 is completed I will work on the next phase of the schedule

Couple Extra Rules
1) No Drinking Before 5 pm
2) No Drinking After 12 pm
3) No excuses
4) Every night, make a detailed description of the day, how I feel, how much alcohol I consumed, and any other pertinent info.
5) I am allowed to drink LESS than the amount specified in the tapering schedule and it DOES NOT carry over to the next day.

pauladmits

Day 2

So far today I have been pretty restless. I had some trouble sleeping last night. I was really agitated this morning but went to play basketball for about an hour and a half and really started feeling better. Got some electrolytes in me and ate a good lunch. I feel pretty on point right now. I've been trying to convince myself today that I can simply not drink tonight, but subconsciously I know I will. I still feel really confident in the schedule, but I also know it's going to get much tougher here shortly.

My heart does not feel bad... pumping normally. I think I had a slight hangover this morning, which made me a little slow at work. But I will be honest, I do feel pretty restless and I can catch myself looking at the clock more and more. I don't know if it's anticipation or deprivation.

Luling

Good luck, Paul! I'm looking forward to seeing how this goes for you.

Jitterbugg

What happens after week 4? You are cured or no longer have a drinking problem?

pauladmits

Trying to set short attainable goals. After week four, IF I'm successful, I will analyze the first month and make another goal. Hopefully going an entire 4 weeks with out alcohol.

artsoul

Good luck Paul...... glad you're trying to be aware of withdrawal symptoms. Being honest with yourself will be the key. Whatever come of this, I think you'll learn a lot.

catlover17

Hiya Paul,

I know you've heard it all before... but there is no controlling this beast other than to stop feeding it. I, and many others have been there and bought many a T Shirt. You may succeed in your 'experiment', but then what? You won't have really learned anything. Glad you're here, we have so much to learn.

All the best to you

Cat

Threshold

If the physical addiction to alcohol is the issue, then this should work just fine. If there are underlying issues as to why you drink..then you have more ahead of you.

I think for all of us, learning that we CAN live without our DOC is critical.

I do hope that you are open to a plan B, if this doesn't work out. I think we all have to be open to a plan B,C,D etc...and be ready to try something else if our first several efforts fail.

keep us posted!

pauladmits

Just watched the entire NBA finals game with out taking a single drink!! Surprisingly it was just as fun!

pauladmits

Alright, night of day 2. I drank two glasses of water, had some vitamins, and I'm ready for bed. I did drink the 300mL I was allowed. I actually feel kind of defeated. But at the same time I have no cravings for any more alcohol. My mind is more focused on tomorrow more than anything else. It's actually a positive feeling. I have alcohol next to me, yet I have no drive to actually consume it. I'm actually ticked off that I drank tonight because I felt so good throughout the day and throughout the NBA Finals.

I realize how pathetic it is that I drank in my room tonight for no apparent reason whatsoever. It has done absolutely nothing to better my life. I could have been out playing basketball tonight and enjoying the Alaskan summer air. I still have a very positive feeling about the plan and I have no doubt in my mind right now I'll be successful tomorrow.

I have some hurdles coming up in the future. This weekend, my gf is studying for an exam and will not be able to hang out, my entire family is going camping. I need time away from them so I'm going to stay and be all alone. I have mixed emotions about that. Kind of happy to be all alone and take on the challenge, and kind of scared to be all alone with myself. But, that's this weekend, I gotta focus on tomorrow.

So I definitely do not think I drank enough to have significant hangover symptoms tomorrow. But I will monitor my withdrawal symptoms and make sure I replenish fluids, eat healthy, and get enough vitamins and electrolytes in me to prevent any issues. Definitely can't wait to play some more basketball tomorrow. It's been in the 60s here in Alaska with no wind the past couple days and just absolutely beautiful to play outdoor basketball with a view of the mountains.

Anyways, I will not update the stats until I actually wake up tomorrow... but I would say today was a great day. The only actual negative that happened today was the fact that I drank for no apparent reason whatsoever. Anyways, have a good night. I will let you know how I feel in the morning.

Michael66

That sounds familiar! I think I trained myself so that drinking was driven partly by strong habit. Those habits are breakable though.

DoinThis

All the best Paul, just wondering how come u stop drinking for 2 days then go back to 200mls? Not sure bout that part. I get what u need to do for yourself. It's really hard to accept that alcohol controls us. I wish u well and hope u keep posting as I want to see how u do also. Not for 4 weeks tho, longer than that. A lot of us can control it for short periods. I wish u well

DarkDays

Looks like prolonged torture. Good luck though

Michael66

[self-deleted response to a removed post]

Dee74

Some posts were removed under rule 4.

I don't see any other posts here in this thread to this point that break any rules.

If this thread is not to your taste please feel free to read and share elsewhere on one of our many other threads thanks

D

MrsKing

I wish you all the best with this plan you have devised for yourself. I can see how you think that you are gaining control over the situation by having this plan and sticking to it. I'm going to be honest, though, because I think not being honest is not giving good advice, so here goes. When we have problems, we have tendencies to believe we can solve them by ourselves, if we devise plans we have spent hours agonizing over - plans that ultimately, we think, will make us better. I am a prime example of this behaviour, though it generally is due to my disordered eating rather than drinking that I make such plans. I will sit for HOURS perfecting the way to eat that will help me lose weight. I will write things such as "you can't eat ____ on a wednesday, but you can eat it on a thursday" or, "you will not go over ____ calories on a weekday, but on a weekend you can eat ___ calories" the list will be extensive and yes, it probably would make me lose weight in the long run, but it is obsessive and incredibly burdensome. I am not saying your plan is as difficult to keep to as this (though it might be), but what you are trying to do is equally as difficult if not more so, because although you have worked out in your mind that this is the best way for you, and this is going to help you become the person you see yourself becoming, it is probably not sustainable and it is lacking in coming to a realistic conclusion, which is that if you are an alcoholic, then you can probably control your drinking for a period of time (which was the same with me and my food plans) but, one day, you will not be able to control it to that much, and that what? Plans are fantastic when we are inspired by them and feel as though we are in control of what we are doing through them... but true control over drinking is something that most, if not all, alcoholics are unable to do. For a period of time, anyone can do it... if they really put their mind to it... but eventually, we end up writing new plans, and new plans to replace those ones.

I'm not trying to make it out like this won't work because I think only you are the person who knows whether it can or not. I'm just trying to make you see that although this plan makes you feel like you are in control and doing something about it (which is great), you have to question whether it is sustainable. I'm only asking these things because I am a great believer in hard, thought out plans for my own life, and generally I am unable to carry them through in the long run.

I wish you all the success with this, though, and I think if you can do it then that's an amazing achievement. Good luck!

KnowHope

i really hope this plan works for you, because maybe your hope will be satisfied that you are not alcoholic. i might be different because i am alcoholic but all i have is my experience, i tried for years to control myself every way i could think of, i remember i was once on my own for some days and decided i could finally get a hold on my problem. i divided my supply into measurements with labels for the days and times i could have them, i even put some aside labeled *Extra because i knew i would want some extra and didn't want that to mess up my original system. well i just could hardly believe it but in 2 days my generous 5 day supply was completely gone and i was scraping myself out of the house to get a whole new supply. all i know is that i needed to be ready to stop and i was lucky to find a way that works for my sobriety. i do wonder a bit why you would want to take such efforts to get sober only to plan on drinking again after a week because a normal person might be more than okay with leaving something that has caused them so much trouble behind forever without a second thought no complex plans necessary but that's entirely up to you and i mean it when i say i truly hope it works, if you believe in your plan that much then you could throw yourself into it with everything you've got, i wish you nothing but the best good luck

flutter

Tried that before, the freedom in the simplicity of not drinking was a relief once I finally got to that point.. the brain damage of trying to control something I never could was maddening. We all have to direct our own recovery journeys and handle the potential fall out if it occurs. Do you have a plan B?

pauladmits

Day 3

Wow, it feels pretty good to wake up with out a brutal hangover. I can dive right in to work with out going through my hour+ long hangover fighting process, and I just overall feel much better about my life. I'm excited to keep the process going. I gotta keep the confidence up, every day is a new challenge.

Day 1: 350mL SUCCESS!!! Total: 350mL
Day 2: 300mL SUCCESS!!! Total: 300mL
Day 3: 275mL
Day 4: 225mL
Day 5: 175mL
Day 6: 125mL
Day 7: 50mL

Michael66

Good job Paul.