Lovelivelaugh

Hi dark place! I've just joined SR too and it's been amazing to see all the responses you had! I could tell you were Irish when I reading your posts!! I'm Irish too but moved to Oz a few years ago. I know Irish culture revolves around drinking and I've seen it ruin people's lives. I think I'm having the realization that it can and does happen to everyone. You seem like a really friendly, energetic person and I think you are doing the best thing by going to the doctors and more importantly just asking for help! Stay strong and like me will be here in SR asking for help.

bslashc

You must start by changing that name to GoodPlace2013!!!! I don't know if you've ever craved alcohol and were so determined to get it nothing would stop you (since it is legal and can be picked up almost anytime). But if you have, and you made it happen, that's how you have to be with your thoughts and your mind. I know it's cheesy sounding and I'm definitely not an expert at it, but the few times I felt super strongly about a positive change I wanted and really believed in it and acted like that change happened, it has happened. I would pick up some books on how the mind works, negativity and positivity, you will see that it's basically scientific. To every action (thought) there's an equal and opposite reaction. The opposite isn't the opposite though, the opposite refers to the direction of the thought. It's coming back at you. Just reading and watching topics on this have at least distracted my mind from negative thinking for a little while. Maybe the information will click with you better and faster than it has with me. Good luck and I'll definitely pray for you!

Wastinglife

hi Darkplace,
I also get terribly depressed and anxious after a drinking binge. I don't get headaches or many physical hangover affects, but the psychological affects are crippling. For 3 or 4 days after drinking, I am miserable while trying to keep up appearances at work. Then by Thursday, I feel fine again and start the weekend binge. Eventually, i just drank everyday, all-day to avoid the depression and anxiety. That got me fired and I ended up in rehab. Stop the cycle now before you hit bottom...

wpainterw

Darkplace: Your posts ring a bell with me for two reasons. The first is that you seem very sincere in what you say and the way you say it indicates to me that you are really not the dark person you think you are but that when you're not drinking you are a good person at heart. It's the drink that does this to you. As you no doubt know the body takes over the brain, except for the most primitive parts of the brain, which seek to control the rest and urge you to keep the alcohol coming. That's the dark stuff you sense. It is dark and recovery starts when you learn how to get that dark stuff behind you. The second thing I note is your fear of admitting in public that you are an alcoholic. You don't have to do this. But it does help to be able to admit it not in "public" but to other alcoholics. At least it helped me a great deal. For years and years (40 to be exact) I was only going to counselors and it wasn't working. Then I joined AA and admitted to them (that's not public, since it's all anonymous and confidential) what was going on and it gave me a wonderful feeling of relief and companionship as well as support.I really think that made all the difference. I haven't had a drink since and it's been nearly 25 years. Like some others I had some problems with AA but I learned that I could benefit from the best parts and that's what I did. If AA doesn't work there are other recovery programs that you can learn about on this SR website (such as Rational Recovery (AVRT). If you want to you may also send me a private message if there is anything I can do to help. Just click on my avatar or my name at the left side of this posting.

W.

ACOAHappyNow

May the angels hold you and guide you until you are strong enough.

Darkplace2013

Hi everyone thanks a million for all the responses here. Ye don't realise how much it means to me. This place is a life saver. It really is. I saw my GP today and we spoke for a long time he have me a number of options and I feel somewhat relieved after the meeting. I was shaking heading in, I was just so paranoid about it. When I was telling him my problems I was whispering for fear someone in the corridor may hear me. But I do feel a small bit better knowing Ive admitted I've a problem. So hopefully I'll sort myself out and start living my life. God this is going to be so hard but I'm willing to give it my best go.

Thanks for all the support.

Hevyn

That's good news, Darkplace. I felt so much better after it was all out in the open - the relief was amazing. Glad you are feeling encouraged - it'll keep getting easier as you go along.

raku

bslashc...

I really enjoyed what you had to say...I struggle with that mental process on a minute by minute basis...could I ask you to post again or could I send a private message, or could you suggest reading about your attitude...it clicks !

Cindy

raku

Thank you...I relate !
Cindy

Dib42

It is very hard... but it isn't as hard as you think its going to be... We have a tendancy early in to make it seem way more difficult than it actually is. We start putting insane scenerios together and try to figure out how to combat drinks we haven't even been offerred yet... My own personal favorite of mine was "How am I going to celebrate my sobriety?"

It really comes down to one simple thing . . . Just don't drink. However we'll make that the hardest thing in the entire world to do.

Darkplace2013

Can you recommend any good books I could get?

TrixMixer

This statement is a good one to read and remind you that we should not get "ahead" of ourselves in our thinking. I just recently help a frien get sober and the hardest thing for him was thinking that he would NEVER be able to have a drink again. This thought was so paralysing he never wanted to even entertain the idea of sobriety.

I can not say this enough---YOU can not think of it that way. You must get up each morning and believe it is just for this day that you cannot have a drink, then get up the next day and believe you just have to get through this day........needless to sayn if you take it minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day--one day you will wake up and not even think about "Drinking".
You will ten be going home from your long and arduous climb out of Alcoholism.

It really does work by thinking small baby steps. Don't look at the big picture. You will have plenty of time to reflect on the journey once you are at home in the arms of sobriety.

Good luck. Good life

Darkplace2013

That's really good advice thanks very much.