Class of February 2013 part 2
Sober birthday 2/7/13
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Los Angeles, California
Posts: 119
Love it ND, congratulations! So much rings true in your post. I too feel like I have shed this ugly outer shell of toxicity. The world is suddenly all technicolor! Physically and emotionally. It is a little weird, it makes me a little fearful to hold my arms open so wide to this new universe. But it is a good fear. Because I feel now. I'm not numb.
Beautiful weekend y'all!
Beautiful weekend y'all!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: "In Every Climb and Place"
Posts: 549
Watching a documentary on Mother Teresa. What a great woman ! And here I am feeling sorry for myself because I'm not going to drink the rest of my days. When there are people in India who are the poorest of the poor. In poverty. But for the Grace of God, I will control "It" my AV.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 26
great day
I just had another sober day with my wife, I was a little bored for awhile, but I have realized there is more to life than drinking and she means more to me than she will ever know, so heres to another sober day and a life long time of not being a slobering drunk
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,636
Introductions
Hi February Class -
Wanted to introduce myself & share that I've very excited to be joining your thread.
Quick background - I'm in my 30s - long time daily drinker (10ish years). I started drinking to help me get to sleep. I was always a night owl, alcohol worked to get me to sleep, and I didn't want to develop a dependency on sleep aids (snort). I got up to a bottle of wine a night. I'm ready to move beyond that chapter now, and have a little over 30 days sober.
Getting to 30 days has taken me about a year of starts and stops - I would go for a few days to 2 weeks at a time, but then would pick up again (wow how the mind can fool) With the 30 days, I'm entering new territory for the first time and can't wait to learn together as we move forward in our journeys.
Looking forward to getting to know you all. I will be away for about a week, but will pop back in again in March - Till then, I hope everyone enjoys their sober weekend.
-SereneEdition
Wanted to introduce myself & share that I've very excited to be joining your thread.
Quick background - I'm in my 30s - long time daily drinker (10ish years). I started drinking to help me get to sleep. I was always a night owl, alcohol worked to get me to sleep, and I didn't want to develop a dependency on sleep aids (snort). I got up to a bottle of wine a night. I'm ready to move beyond that chapter now, and have a little over 30 days sober.
Getting to 30 days has taken me about a year of starts and stops - I would go for a few days to 2 weeks at a time, but then would pick up again (wow how the mind can fool) With the 30 days, I'm entering new territory for the first time and can't wait to learn together as we move forward in our journeys.
Looking forward to getting to know you all. I will be away for about a week, but will pop back in again in March - Till then, I hope everyone enjoys their sober weekend.
-SereneEdition
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by noubledegative 
It's almost been a week sober! and it's feeling different this time around...much better! I have more resolve, more clarity of mind and now I've tasted what a sober life can be like, more to lose.
I think the negative experience of falling of the wagon last week, made me feel so miserable that I'm just really determined to not let it happen again.
When we were returning home at 2am from the big walk, we had to walk through the city, which meant going past bars that i have spent way too much time at. They just looked grotty/loud /expensive & unappealing to me...felt no desire to go in.
I think the negative experience of falling of the wagon last week, made me feel so miserable that I'm just really determined to not let it happen again.
When we were returning home at 2am from the big walk, we had to walk through the city, which meant going past bars that i have spent way too much time at. They just looked grotty/loud /expensive & unappealing to me...felt no desire to go in.
I love the imagery of fresh nights air in a beautiful garden juxtaposed against a loud sloppy bar. I will carry yet another one of your stories with me.
Secondly, I also feel different this time around, my most recent relapse made me realize how much resolve this is going to take to make it for the long haul. I really think this is it for me. I had a nightmare last night that I drank and was back to day 1. I woke up in a panic and it took me a second to readjust, "ok I'm on day 14- it's all good" I've never dreamt about my drinking problem before- its almost like my dream mind/subconscious is supporting me and coming to terms with my new reality.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by Easyrider
Hi guys. I'm sitting here. Watching telly and not craving alcohol. I'm not bothered at all. And that scares me! It's like i Know where these thoughts lead. You don't have problem. So just have a drink. But I'm not thinking that...yet.
No. Matter. What. I never had a support group during my past efforts so thank you to all!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Arizona
Posts: 494
Originally Posted by estone
My husband is drinker as well and hasn't fully given it up. He says he wants to but yesterday him and his buddy were drinking after work (I think their work day ended quite early to accommodate the drinking). He was done drinking when I got home from work but I still knew he had been. When I asked about it he said he only had a few but I knew that was a lie. He pretty much passed out at about 7 in the evening. I am annoyed with him but at the same time I understand that it's his battle to fight. I hope I can stay strong even though he may continue to drink.
Estone- my fiancée is also a drinker. He is a chef and loves wine as it is a big part the food industry. He is the kind of drinker who has two glasses of wine and can cork the bottle but also would be persuaded to open 3 bottles a night when I was drinking with him. Last week he didn't come home after work and got black out wasted with his friends which happens occasionally but is usually reserved for bachelor parties and college reunions. I asked him if he thinks that happened because he doesn't want to drink at home with me sober so he let loose at the bar and he admitted it was part of it.
Two nights later he opened a bottle of wine to cook with and left it on the counter instead of locked away in his wine fridge (locked because its outdoor but for the best cause there are many times I would have raided that thing) I was mad that he left it out like that- that he doesn't understand thIs problem I have and why I can't have wine in my house right now. For him it's "just don't drink it's that simple".
Part of me feels bad because I won't be that person who can go wine tasting or get goofy with him on New Years. He says it doesn't matter but on his trip to visit his aunt he drank some of his late fathers wines from his cellar (his dad sold wine for a living) he went on and on about how much fun it was to drink with his aunt. This also contributed to my relapse- I wanted to be the girl who could enjoy those thing with him.
We had a long talk and I told him that his behaviors can be huge triggers for me and contributed to my last relapse. I felt so guilty asking him to give something up for me when I've already put him through so much but he's being supportive even though i know he just wishes all these problems would go away.
It took me a long time to finally just ask him to stop drinking at home but I feel relieved now knowing my house is a safe place for me.
So anyways! That's my story. Hopefully we can navigate this whole partners drinking thing together. Welcome aboard! =)
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 120
NOBLEDGEGATIVE great post it really does get better....
How am i doing today????Well its day 16 freezing in London plus i have no central heating a direct result of my unmanageability but i have a program today and im great full to have a roof over my head... erm all is good in my world really a bit struggling finatially but now ive stopped using i dont need much to get by really as londg as i got food and tobacco and my travel pass to get to meetings im cool really....still havent done the housework lol not good all that talk and no action... right ill start it now lol... done my 1st online video meeting last night on Addiction, Alcoholism - In The Rooms - Drug Addiction Treatment it was really helpfull you should go try it they got a good thing going on their very del organised website with tones to do and explore....went to a NA meeing yesterday some guy i know done the chair and shared his experience strength and his hope... boy what a cracker this guy was broken 9 month ago absolutley finished he looked like golem and had squandered his riches that he had aquired when he was clean before he had it all... and lost it a lll but it cost him more than money like it cost me more than money is it COSTING YOU MORE THAN MONEY??? this guy through dillengently attending meetings and working the steps has managed to turn it around and the message i get from him is There is no such thing as a hopless case if he can do it I CAN DO IT...IF I CN DO IT ...YOU CAN DO IT...heading to a morning meeting today they focus on the steps its a great meeting if you want to heaR SOME PEOPLE SHARING FROM lONDON AND THE MEETINGS i go to check out Trafalgar Square Speaker Meeting | Of Narcotics Anonymous so brilliant speakers on the website you wont be disappointed xxxx
ONE LOVE MY 30S MY NEW FAMILY XXX
How am i doing today????Well its day 16 freezing in London plus i have no central heating a direct result of my unmanageability but i have a program today and im great full to have a roof over my head... erm all is good in my world really a bit struggling finatially but now ive stopped using i dont need much to get by really as londg as i got food and tobacco and my travel pass to get to meetings im cool really....still havent done the housework lol not good all that talk and no action... right ill start it now lol... done my 1st online video meeting last night on Addiction, Alcoholism - In The Rooms - Drug Addiction Treatment it was really helpfull you should go try it they got a good thing going on their very del organised website with tones to do and explore....went to a NA meeing yesterday some guy i know done the chair and shared his experience strength and his hope... boy what a cracker this guy was broken 9 month ago absolutley finished he looked like golem and had squandered his riches that he had aquired when he was clean before he had it all... and lost it a lll but it cost him more than money like it cost me more than money is it COSTING YOU MORE THAN MONEY??? this guy through dillengently attending meetings and working the steps has managed to turn it around and the message i get from him is There is no such thing as a hopless case if he can do it I CAN DO IT...IF I CN DO IT ...YOU CAN DO IT...heading to a morning meeting today they focus on the steps its a great meeting if you want to heaR SOME PEOPLE SHARING FROM lONDON AND THE MEETINGS i go to check out Trafalgar Square Speaker Meeting | Of Narcotics Anonymous so brilliant speakers on the website you wont be disappointed xxxx
ONE LOVE MY 30S MY NEW FAMILY XXX
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi everyone, on day two, still bit shakey and couldnt sleep much last night. Things always seem slightly more positive in the mornings- dont know why?! Great posts i have been reading this morning can gain so much hope and strength from them all. I have learnt from this last relapse, and hope to move forward now taking baby steps but steps in the right direction.
Gona clean up the house today and try and eat something. Ub3 i know the feeling my finances are shocking, all down to the booze really. Im sooo different on the booze i dont care for money at all and when im drunk il spend everything and not think about the next day at all. Like you i think il be better on a limited budget anyway for a bit.
Gona clean up the house today and try and eat something. Ub3 i know the feeling my finances are shocking, all down to the booze really. Im sooo different on the booze i dont care for money at all and when im drunk il spend everything and not think about the next day at all. Like you i think il be better on a limited budget anyway for a bit.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Around and About
Posts: 1,254
Yay 1stepup!!! You are now on the "up" escalator instead of trying to walk up the "down" one.
11th day for me here! I dread morning though, until I get outta bed and do something. Anything. I really have to remember that. I have to say I did a lot of my relapse drinking at 3 or 4 AM and then I could sleep again. Really have to remember that.
11th day for me here! I dread morning though, until I get outta bed and do something. Anything. I really have to remember that. I have to say I did a lot of my relapse drinking at 3 or 4 AM and then I could sleep again. Really have to remember that.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 86
Dear Tom, Dear UB3 and everybody thank you so much for your stories, sharing of feelings and support. Today is the first day of my second week sober. Last night was difficult. I was alone in the house, normally I always pour a glass of wine but managed to resist. It helped to look at some photos of myself with drink (I looked like a zombie, eyes way too bright, just not "with it" if you know what I mean!) I am also two months off medication for depression (do not try this without advice of your doctor. I am swinging from elation to loss, fear, panic back to wellbeing, loving the feeling of control back to sobbing....(this can happen within the space of 5 mins). I think for the first time in 20 years I am actually "feeling my real emotions" if that makes any sense. For all that time I have dulled down or masked the insecurities, worry, anxiety with either meds, alcohol or both. When I cry I actually feel a bit relieved afterwards, I think it is my body and mind trying to rebalance itself in some way? Its Sunday afternoon and I'm going to fill my car with gas for the week, get my work stuff ready and make a nice lasagne for dinner...its simple stuff but it feels nice to have a structure or plan to the day. For me having some control back however small is really helping. I have kicked away my crutch (meds & wine) and trying to stand on my own...if I don't try this I'll never know the difference it could have made! ND your post was beautiful, really visual and how great to have your full senses to enjoy it! Well done. Tom I'm going to try to look up that doc on Mother Teresa (do you know wha the title is?)....Anyhows I'm rambling just wanted to wish you all well and strength for another week 
Greetings from Holland x 
Greetings from Holland x Last edited by firstweek; 02-24-2013 at 05:14 AM. Reason: spelling
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 86
Originally Posted by 1stepup
Hi everyone, on day two, still bit shakey and couldnt sleep much last night. Things always seem slightly more positive in the mornings- dont know why?! Great posts i have been reading this morning can gain so much hope and strength from them all. I have learnt from this last relapse, and hope to move forward now taking baby steps but steps in the right direction.
Gona clean up the house today and try and eat something. Ub3 i know the feeling my finances are shocking, all down to the booze really. Im sooo different on the booze i dont care for money at all and when im drunk il spend everything and not think about the next day at all. Like you i think il be better on a limited budget anyway for a bit.
Gona clean up the house today and try and eat something. Ub3 i know the feeling my finances are shocking, all down to the booze really. Im sooo different on the booze i dont care for money at all and when im drunk il spend everything and not think about the next day at all. Like you i think il be better on a limited budget anyway for a bit.
Has this week been hard? Hell yes!!! Do I miss the waking up feeling like somebody's just laid a carpet in my mouth? No! Do I miss the feeling of panic ... what did I say, do, who did I insult or hurt? No. Do I miss waking up in A&E with injuries? No. This is still a long road but I'm keeping it simple. Three weeks ago I was on a bender and spent EUR100 in ONE NIGHT, when I'm drunk I sometimes think I'm invincible and buy a bottle of pressecco for the gang..."look at how generous, how fun she is" but when I check our bank account the next day, I'm always angry with myself.....
I think through this process our finances will begin to right themselves! Good luck!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 1,467
Hi firstweek. Thank you for your message, know that feeling of invincibility, always wanted to be liked and so id go way over my budget to buy dinks for people, sometimes even strangers. That horrible feeling the next day checking my bank balance is awful and often if the balance was lower than i expected, id hit the drink again to block out that feeling of frustration its the ultimate vicious circle.
Ive done this countless times over the years and it angers me that ive done it to myself.
Going to see my kids for a few hours in a bit, my ex wants me to look after them whilst she goes out with her mum- probably drinking. Looking forward to see them but am anxious of how she'll be with me when she gets back in, has been known to shout abuse etc at me when im sober and shes had a drink. Have to stay calm and feel that i cant say anything because of my past. Im trying hard now though. Only on day two and the last thing i want is a row.
Ive done this countless times over the years and it angers me that ive done it to myself.
Going to see my kids for a few hours in a bit, my ex wants me to look after them whilst she goes out with her mum- probably drinking. Looking forward to see them but am anxious of how she'll be with me when she gets back in, has been known to shout abuse etc at me when im sober and shes had a drink. Have to stay calm and feel that i cant say anything because of my past. Im trying hard now though. Only on day two and the last thing i want is a row.
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