Dear Tom, Dear UB3 and everybody thank you so much for your stories, sharing of feelings and support. Today is the first day of my second week sober. Last night was difficult. I was alone in the house, normally I always pour a glass of wine but managed to resist. It helped to look at some photos of myself with drink (I looked like a zombie, eyes way too bright, just not "with it" if you know what I mean!) I am also two months off medication for depression (do not try this without advice of your doctor. I am swinging from elation to loss, fear, panic back to wellbeing, loving the feeling of control back to sobbing....(this can happen within the space of 5 mins). I think for the first time in 20 years I am actually "feeling my real emotions" if that makes any sense. For all that time I have dulled down or masked the insecurities, worry, anxiety with either meds, alcohol or both. When I cry I actually feel a bit relieved afterwards, I think it is my body and mind trying to rebalance itself in some way? Its Sunday afternoon and I'm going to fill my car with gas for the week, get my work stuff ready and make a nice lasagne for dinner...its simple stuff but it feels nice to have a structure or plan to the day. For me having some control back however small is really helping. I have kicked away my crutch (meds & wine) and trying to stand on my own...if I don't try this I'll never know the difference it could have made! ND your post was beautiful, really visual and how great to have your full senses to enjoy it! Well done. Tom I'm going to try to look up that doc on Mother Teresa (do you know wha the title is?)....Anyhows I'm rambling just wanted to wish you all well and strength for another week
Greetings from Holland x
