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Need advice!!

Old 02-24-2010, 04:44 PM
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Looking For Myself...Sober
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Need advice!!

I am like a freakin ticking time bomb this week. For alot of reasons. One is..It is really freakin hard living in such close quarters with 15 other people. All day and all night. It doesn wear you down after awhile. I feel like I am not doing anything here. Meeting are hard to get to and find. Then theres only like a couple women that dont even have any clean time there. Most of them are the same few people that are at all of them, that seem to be on some recovery pedestal in their own minds. Point being ..it is slim picking here.
Where are the meetings with people like I find here?
IOP is a flipping joke. 5 days a week for 5 hrs ..thats 15 groups a week and I maybe...maybe get something out of 1 or 2 groups. Like 5 or 6 people relapsed over the weekend. One came to our house very very intoxicated with her toddler child and she was driving.
The drama over dumb ass childish stuffd and i wont say anything because I just want to stay as far away from it as possible.
I am too scared to share in meetings so I was pretty much put on blast in front of the whole meeting and made to feel very uncomfortable. And then everyone decided to join in and critisize about people who dont open their mouths. And the chair that pointed me out did it in a very distastful way.
So which is it?? Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth or talk? Cant do both. I get alot out of listenging and dont have much to say.
Its liek if you do talk your running your mouth and if you dont your not working a program. WTF??
I am so sick of this **** already. I want to say F it and go home and just go back to my life. Get by the way I have so far. But I knwo that wont happen.
Why does this crap have to be like this? But they never said it wAS EASY.
i JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO TOLERATE THIS WITHOUT LOSING MY IND AND PATIENCE. pLEASE tell me something to help. You guys are the only ones I trust., i dont trust any of these people.
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Old 02-24-2010, 04:52 PM
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Hey Trish

I've never done sober living houses, I've never done meetings, never done IOP...I'd probably have been as antsy or even more so than you.

But - we tried it our way - living our life...and it just didn't work.

We needed change - and change is hard - especially when you've been used to calling the shots since you were 12 or something...

My advice is to stick it out Trish...I agree with you btw - life is 90% how you take it

D
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Old 02-24-2010, 04:55 PM
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I was told to never say no when AA asks me to do something. So, even in my newest days, if I was called on I spoke. If I had something to say good, bad, or indifferent I said it.

Still do whatever's asked of me. Works for me. :-)
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:04 PM
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Hey Girl. I know it sucks right now, but hang in there. I had to deal with all of that stuff too and you may not realize it but dealing with all of that in your face is going to help you in the long run.

You are allowed to stick up for yourself, ever think maybe they're "pushing" you because they want you to talk?

I bet some of the ones that hear "take the cotton out of your ears and stick it your mouth" probably do need to listen more than they're talking. Lived with them too.

Remember what you wanted to go there for and remember that you are there for YOU!!!

Trish, you're such a strong Girl, you can do this. As stupid as the AA/NA cliche's are now is the time to maybe practice some........."I've just got to get through today." Tomorrow will look much better.

And this is me giving you a little push....... finish what you started, I promise you this is going to help you. I know you may think I'm out of my mind for saying that but keep an open mind and remember "if it doesn't apply, let it fly!"

I see relapses every week, this is what people do while struggling in recovery. Just know that if you get through this you don't ever have to do it again.

Good luck Girl and as always, I'm totally rooting for you 110%!!!!

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Old 02-24-2010, 05:11 PM
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Read the literature a lot to keep your mind busy as focused?

And when they ask you to share, say "I like this part in the book", and then read the literature a lot....?
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:14 PM
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Remember what you wanted to go there for and remember that you are there for YOU!!!
I agree. Maybe just talk a little and do more listening than talking. I know I wouldn't like being 'pushed' to talk if I only wanted to listen. Just keep on doing this FOR YOU, for your own life. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Love ya!
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:30 PM
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This too shall pass, T.

Hang in there, you know you want this. I feel you, I'm a listener, too. Yesterday was the first time I said something. I mumbled something about grateful for the topic and something else but I don't remember what, days sober, whatever. I like to hide, it seems. I'm trying to overcome that.

Anyway, you hang in there, girl. Gratitude.
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:33 PM
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Hey WOman was just thinkin bout you the other day and wondering how its going , cant ever tell its its weeks update cuz so many reply so its hard to tell ,
Anyways Ive never lived with a group such as yours , but I think we can all understand how much of a pain it can be , theresa skill in that , its trying to teach you patience and tolerence .
Apparently what your learning there is workin for you , yah might not see it 100% but face you , you are NOT one of those many who are relapsing while in sober living . Serenity dear ,Serenity ,,, 1 time to a million if you must .. and if nuttin heres one for you its notta AA thing .. but it sure can help make lite of bad situations from others
" cant control stupid " its just something i use in my head when I see something or something really gets at me .. it works if nuttin to make a smile for a minute .
Hang in there gurl , all this stuff is with in reasons to teach you what you need to know , even if you dont think your getting anything outta it . Im glad your safe and still breathing in life .. big ole ~ huggled ~ Endzy
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Old 02-24-2010, 05:42 PM
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Hi Trish..

..been thinkin' of ya..
..one day you'll look back at this and laugh ya head off..lol..ozy..

..so proud of you..xox.
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Old 02-24-2010, 06:40 PM
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(((Trish)))
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Old 02-24-2010, 06:42 PM
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((Trish)) - I was wondering where you were this weekend.

As far as the drama, I agree with staying out of it.

As for the "want to go home, back to my life"...um, think that all the way through. Isn't that why you are where you are? Because your old like kept leading you back to crack, eventually?

About the sharing in meetings. I think it's fair to say we are all scared of something, but some fears we have to get past to move forward. What is going to be the absolute worst thing to happen if you share? You don't have to tell any deep dark secrets, just comment on what the topic is, to start with..baby steps, sweetie.

You get out of this, what you put into it. I'm very proud of you for sticking it out, so far, and I do understand living in close quarters with these other people...but think of how MUCH you wanted this and fought to get it.

I also agree with vegi...one day you're gonna look back at all this and laugh, though right now I'm sure you think we're both crazy

You can do this, sweetie. I'm glad you stopped by....I missed ya.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 02-24-2010, 09:04 PM
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Aw, Girl! Please be gentle with yourself! You're living away from home with strangers. You are trying to get/stay clean. You are changing and growing in many, many ways. You're bound to feel freaked out. But like Dee said....stick it out. You fought to get there....now you must fight to stay.

And.....think about your tagline. Says volumes. Very, very best wishes to you.
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Old 02-24-2010, 10:31 PM
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Trish- Don't know you well & haven't been in your situation but I have read your posts throughout the months and know what you've gone through. Stick it out. Do your best of what's expected. That's pretty much going to be the menu for your working life till retirement anyway! Might as well get the practice now!! "yes sir, no, sir, yes, maam, no, maam,". A lot of jobs are give & take but a lot of junior jobs are the aforementioned. Might as well get used to it. Best of luck and STAY THE PATH!!! YOU CAN DO IT!
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Old 02-24-2010, 11:02 PM
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((Trish))
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Old 02-25-2010, 12:23 AM
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Aysha,

Sorry to hear that this isn't everything that you were hoping for. I remember how you waited to get into this program and anticipated the changes that would come because of it.

I agree with some of the others here, trust yourself and decide when to disclose info and when not to.

You knew that this was going to be hard, it seems that the challenges you were expecting have been replaced by other challenges. Now you get to decide whether to step up or not. What we expect is not always what we get, maybe...we get what we need? (thank you Stones)

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Old 02-25-2010, 04:39 AM
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i'm smelling the old trish attitude here!

stop it i says.

now, back to the question...

open mouth, still listen, tough it out, and we know your tough,

and pray all you can!

and their your prayers, you dont have to have them shoved down your throath.

just keep looking for the postives, and try not to trish out!

remember, your working on the new, improved trish.

xxooxxoo
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Old 02-25-2010, 05:06 AM
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Trish changing our attitude changes our day, negatitivity breeds more negativity, turn it around, by being positive and having a positive outlook you will find that "you are right where you're suppose to be in your recovery."

Try to remember to say the Acceptance Prayer, And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation – some fact of my life – unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and my attitudes.
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Old 02-25-2010, 07:01 AM
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Things that have worked for me when feeling the way you do
  1. talk to my sponsor
  2. talk to friends in recovery before/after the meeting
  3. exercise
  4. prayer
  5. meditation
  6. gratitude list
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Old 02-26-2010, 06:28 PM
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Looking For Myself...Sober
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Yep..yall know me too well. The old me sure was trying to sabotage the situation. I talked to my councelor and got some things out. And I am starting to blend in instead of singling myself out. I am doing that to myself.
I am tired of taking the easy road and copping out because things get a little hard.
My whole life has been too easy. Gone my way. I am done with that ****.
Time to put the big girl pants on.
I swear on everything I love...I am going to see this through. All the way to the end and then some.
No more running when things get a little hard.
I dont want this to be easy. I need it to be hard so I never want to do it again.

Thx you guys. I knew I could count on you all.
Be back on tomorrow.
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Old 02-26-2010, 07:10 PM
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at'a girl trish!
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