Need advice!!
I am like a freakin ticking time bomb this week. For alot of reasons. One is..It is really freakin hard living in such close quarters with 15 other people. All day and all night. It doesn wear you down after awhile. I feel like I am not doing anything here. Meeting are hard to get to and find. Then theres only like a couple women that dont even have any clean time there. Most of them are the same few people that are at all of them, that seem to be on some recovery pedestal in their own minds. Point being ..it is slim picking here.
Where are the meetings with people like I find here?
IOP is a flipping joke. 5 days a week for 5 hrs ..thats 15 groups a week and I maybe...maybe get something out of 1 or 2 groups. Like 5 or 6 people relapsed over the weekend. One came to our house very very intoxicated with her toddler child and she was driving.
The drama over dumb ass childish stuffd and i wont say anything because I just want to stay as far away from it as possible.
I am too scared to share in meetings so I was pretty much put on blast in front of the whole meeting and made to feel very uncomfortable. And then everyone decided to join in and critisize about people who dont open their mouths. And the chair that pointed me out did it in a very distastful way.
So which is it?? Take the cotton out of your ears and put it in your mouth or talk? Cant do both. I get alot out of listenging and dont have much to say.
Its liek if you do talk your running your mouth and if you dont your not working a program. WTF??
I am so sick of this **** already. I want to say F it and go home and just go back to my life. Get by the way I have so far. But I knwo that wont happen.
Why does this crap have to be like this? But they never said it wAS EASY.
i JUST DONT KNOW HOW TO TOLERATE THIS WITHOUT LOSING MY IND AND PATIENCE. pLEASE tell me something to help. You guys are the only ones I trust., i dont trust any of these people.