Aysha

This popped out at me.
The I read what cubile wrote here.

So I have nothitng to add. I hope you make it. Being scared all the time is no way to live. Thats why we work a program. To remove the obsession and like others have said. After time, it isnt an issue of fighting anymore.

Hevyn

NewPosture - I'm glad you posted. It's a good discussion. I think this is one area where it's not "one size fits all" - where knowing ourselves is key. I remember early on going into a favorite bar to meet with friends and being very resentful that I couldn't have anything. Yet I knew I couldn't and wouldn't. I rarely put myself in that situation these days, but when I do - I no longer am angry or sorry for myself. It gets easier as you get stronger & more determined, though - so it probably isn't worth risking being tempted when you're newly sober. Today, I know I can't touch it even if one is put in front of me at a wedding reception, retirement party, whatever.

I do agree that these are early days for you and I would be very cautious 'til you get your sealegs. I think it's important that you're putting it out on the table by making it somewhat public, as you put it. When I first told my relatives (last Christmas) that I no longer drank I simply said, "I felt I was becoming too dependent on it." No one tried to coax me. (They were probably thinking "It's about time".) I honestly didn't think I'd ever have fun again without it. It did take awhile for me to adjust to not getting numb in order to have a good time, but now I can't imagine taking a chance on being dragged back into hell.

I hope we all enjoy the season - not just sober, but happy and content to be that way.

NewPosture

Thanks for the words.

Wow: the "not fighting" thing hit me. I'm nowhere close to that. It was a struggle, and my mind and thoughts were spinning and bouncing off of each other. But about this trip.

I'm going to visit friends and family, like I said. I should also say, I live 300 miles from my partner, and I get to see her maybe once a month if I'm lucky. We've been married for 8 years. I moved for a job, we both thought it was a good decision...

Anyway. I say the above because I can't not go. I know I have a choice for everything, but man. I gotta see her. I really miss her, and a week with her is too much to give up right now.

I guess, long story short:

• I'm still fighting-- I am not a zen-master recovery person yet (I guess in AA, this is "dry drunk")
• When presented with temptation, my "tools" are fuzzy but not in my forefront
• I will be telling my friends and family I am visiting I won't be drinking
• You all are really making this for me. Thank you so, so much for caring for a complete stranger.

mmeat

Hey NP..good luck on your trip and stay strong. If anyone asks you why you don't want a beer, tell them you're on a health kick...drink lots of green tea and water, come back here when you get back and tell us all how great you did!
Stay positive

polkadot

okay this really come home to me.... what ashya pointed out... thats what i have been doing. no drugs no drugs no drugs.... no opiate no opiate. i cant take those one leads to too many. then i start pity for me. cause i do have pain. i can seem to get nothing done without a damn pill...which makes me resentful and more pity.... here i sit with eveyrthing to do and obssessing about if i had just ONE pill i could have strength and feel like doing something....i know its a lie...i am just tired of being tired.

NewPosture

Just a quick report back for the people who care.

On the trip. Been really hard... but I haven't slipped! And this time of night, when it's 10:40p, I feel good about the decision. I'll feel good in the morning too... but the 3-9pm hours will be tough!

mirage

Good job, NP!!

CarolD

Glad you are working things out to your benefit NP
Blessings to you and your wife...

Dee74

Thanks for the update NP - and well done!
D

911nurse

Way to go on your victory!! For me that would be a slippery slope. I was told that you don't go to the "cat" house for a kiss. Stay strong