Originally Posted by
NewPosture 
I guess it wasn't very smart to put myself in that situation. I shouldn't, really. I rationalized it because it was a birthday celebration for a loved co-worker, but... there are other ways for me to show my affection than struggle through an evening where I might slip. I needn't be a martyr. And what's the reason, anyway? Am I hoping I slip?
This popped out at me.
The I read what cubile wrote here.
It's about NOT fighting it. I'm powerless. I quit training to run that marathon. If I can be around drinkers it's because the problem is not there anymore. I don't want to drink, I can't drink. I don't get to make the choice... If I give myself the choice, I'll make the wrong one, eventually. If I try to tough it out, I just get resentful, self pitying.... it's no fun at all.
So NP... Have you quit fighting? If not, one of these times you step into the ring, it's gonna be a KO... yours....
So I have nothitng to add. I hope you make it. Being scared all the time is no way to live. Thats why we work a program. To remove the obsession and like others have said. After time, it isnt an issue of fighting anymore.