okay this really come home to me.... what ashya pointed out... thats what i have been doing. no drugs no drugs no drugs.... no opiate no opiate. i cant take those one leads to too many. then i start pity for me. cause i do have pain. i can seem to get nothing done without a damn pill...which makes me resentful and more pity.... here i sit with eveyrthing to do and obssessing about if i had just ONE pill i could have strength and feel like doing something....i know its a lie...i am just tired of being tired.