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anotherDUIanotherCARWRECK-update

Old 11-09-2009, 09:18 AM
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anotherDUIanotherCARWRECK-update

Hi all-

I've received some good news over the last few days.

First - the car I hit - no one was seriously injured and they have filed an accident report and are reporting no injuries. I realize this could change, but it's good to hear that they are ok.

Second - even though I'm being charged with a DUI, my insurance company called to say that they are here for me and all damages will be covered.

Third - I go today for my clinical evaluation and will start my 20 week outpatient program either this Thur or next Mon.

Fourth - I got an email from an uncle who is going to help me to pay for rehab. He asked for the info and said he will find a way to pay for it.

I'm still in a lot of trouble and yes, more pitfalls to cross, but I'm coming to an understanding and honestly, I'm looking forward to getting help.

I haven't been able to make any AA meetings (I was going almost everyday and I do miss going terribly), but as soon as I can get up there I will raise my hand and ask for help. Hopefully I can find some folks who can help me with rides.

Just wanted to send an update and there will be many more as the process unfolds.

Glad to be sober today!

Thanks,
Kjell
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:24 AM
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Glad things are looking up! I got a DUI a few months ago, too. I pleaded "not guilty" and it's going to trial. I'm pretty sure my lawyer can prove it was an illegal stop, but you never know what a jury is going to do. Good luck!
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:27 AM
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It's good that things are slowly working themselves out.

Stay focused on your recovery and things will be okay.
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:31 AM
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Things do look brighter and thanks for the update. You can have a better life. You deserve a better life.
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:39 AM
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That is all great news. I hope you'll seize all of those gifts.
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:41 AM
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I'm glad things are looking up for you...wishing you all the best with it all!
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Old 11-09-2009, 09:58 AM
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Wow, K, that is great. I really like your attitude, you sound like you are being realistic, accepting the consequences of your actions, but seeing the positive and expressing gratitude for the help you are getting. That is just awesome, hope it all works out well for you.
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Old 11-09-2009, 10:04 AM
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Kjell you are headed in the right direction, you stepped up to the plate and are taking responsibilty for your actions. Why don't you call the AA hotline about rides, I am sure they have at least one person if not more that will be more then happy to give you a ride.
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Old 11-09-2009, 10:47 AM
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Originally Posted by Tazman53 View Post
Kjell you are headed in the right direction, you stepped up to the plate and are taking responsibilty for your actions. Why don't you call the AA hotline about rides, I am sure they have at least one person if not more that will be more then happy to give you a ride.
I never thought about doing that - thanks!
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:32 AM
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Hi,

Your positive attitude is definately a plus...

Make sobriety number one...

You can do this...
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Old 11-09-2009, 11:34 AM
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What good news. I'm so glad you're starting IOP this week or next.

:ghug3
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Old 11-09-2009, 01:20 PM
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I totally agree with taz here. I remember reading your first post on this. And I will be honest and thought. "Oh here we go, Another poor me DUI thread."
I have zero sympathy for drunk driving.
Because 9 times out of 10 the drunk person walks away uninjured and alot of times is only concerned about their legal problems they will face.
I didnt see that really from you.
I saw someone who was genuinely concerned first about the safety of the other people and yourself.
Sure your going to have concern about legalities. Who wouldnt. But I saw you were more focused on what could have happened.
I have alot of respect for that.
And taking the actions you arfe is wonderful.
It could very well have gone alot worse. You and everyone involved got really lucky.
I am so glad you see that and have the sense enough to take steps to make sure it doesnt happen again.
And by that I mean not drinking to begin with.
I am such a firm believer of Karma. And by your heart being in the right place. You are going to be ok.
Good luck., And thank you for showing me that it isnt all about the drunk driver and what consequences they will have to face.
I know too many people killed by drunk drivers. And most of them were only worried about how it screwed their own life up.
You are a great example of owning up for your wrongs.
I hope others will follow.
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Old 11-09-2009, 01:21 PM
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Howdy, Kjell. The details of your ongoing saga were so similar to my own, I felt compelled to post a little of my experience. I don't know if it applies, so take it or leave it.

Up until my last year or so of drinking, I never had a DUI. By the time my alcoholism progressed to way serious proportions, I had family responsibilities and basically drank at home in my garage. Driving and drinking was a line I said I'd never cross. But, like all those lines we make, I drank and drove hundreds of times in those last couple of years. On a daily basis because I was drunk 24/7.

So I got my first DUI and a second one a few days later. I immediately got hooked up with outpatient treatment. I believed this was a step up from my previous counseling. I was enthusiastic and determined and took it seriously. Things seemed to be going well. Oddly enough, a few days after my sentencing I woke up behind the wheel of a smashed vehicle.

OK, so another wake up call. I thought that would surely wake me up and I would get sober. I went to inpatient rehab and jumped into AA when I got out. I did everything they told me to do in AA. I read the book, had a sponsor, had a service position. But I never worked the steps. I tried to, but I didn't get it, and like many, got stuck on Step 4. With about 8 months or so of sobriety, the last few white knuckle at best, I started drinking again for no good reason and got another DUI. That made 4 in about a year's time.

If ever there was a wake up call, this was it. I was looking at a felony 5 year sentence. Life as I knew it was over. Prior to sentencing, the judge put me on a UA testing protocol, and assured me that I would serve the full sentence if I peed dirty. I could not stop drinking.

That's when I really learned I was powerless. I also learned that getting sober had nothing to do with wake up calls or bottoms. It had to do with accepting that powerlessness and accepting spiritual help.

I kept thinking that surely with these consequences, I'd be able to get serious about it and stop. But I couldn't. I couldn't stop drinking. So I did the only thing left to do when one can not go on living like that. I called a guy in AA who talked about a spiritual solution as being the real alcoholic's only hope. I took the steps as described in the BB and I recovered.

The realization for me of all that was the shattering of a delusion that these events and consequences would keep me sober. Instead, I realized that these events and consequences were just going to keep happening, despite all my efforts and sincere desire to not drink.

That was when I got open minded about a spiritual solution. And that solution has proved incredibly effective for my alcoholism and in all of my life.

I wish you the same results.
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Old 11-09-2009, 01:43 PM
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Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
I totally agree with taz here. I remember reading your first post on this. And I will be honest and thought. "Oh here we go, Another poor me DUI thread."
I have zero sympathy for drunk driving.
Because 9 times out of 10 the drunk person walks away uninjured and alot of times is only concerned about their legal problems they will face.
I didnt see that really from you.
I saw someone who was genuinely concerned first about the safety of the other people and yourself.
Sure your going to have concern about legalities. Who wouldnt. But I saw you were more focused on what could have happened.
I have alot of respect for that.
And taking the actions you arfe is wonderful.
It could very well have gone alot worse. You and everyone involved got really lucky.
I am so glad you see that and have the sense enough to take steps to make sure it doesnt happen again.
And by that I mean not drinking to begin with.
I am such a firm believer of Karma. And by your heart being in the right place. You are going to be ok.
Good luck., And thank you for showing me that it isnt all about the drunk driver and what consequences they will have to face.
I know too many people killed by drunk drivers. And most of them were only worried about how it screwed their own life up.
You are a great example of owning up for your wrongs.
I hope others will follow.
Thank you. My Father (who's name is Kjell) was killed in a drunk driving accident, but he was the one driving and crashed his car into a tree. He also blacked out when drinking. Which is a very ironic in a sad, sick way that I'm capable of doing the same thing, even when going 6 weeks without a drop. It scared the hell out of me and I don't want to hurt anyone or myself.

I'll keep you posted on my progess. I'm looking forward to getting well and this site is great. I think sometimes how hard this would be without SR and AA.
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Old 11-09-2009, 04:46 PM
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I was wondering how you were doing - so glad to know things are a bit brighter for you. This is your new beginning.
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Old 11-10-2009, 09:19 AM
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Originally Posted by Aysha View Post
I totally agree with taz here. I remember reading your first post on this. And I will be honest and thought. "Oh here we go, Another poor me DUI thread."
I have zero sympathy for drunk driving.
Because 9 times out of 10 the drunk person walks away uninjured and alot of times is only concerned about their legal problems they will face.
I didnt see that really from you.
I saw someone who was genuinely concerned first about the safety of the other people and yourself.
Sure your going to have concern about legalities. Who wouldnt. But I saw you were more focused on what could have happened.
I have alot of respect for that.
And taking the actions you arfe is wonderful.
It could very well have gone alot worse. You and everyone involved got really lucky.
I am so glad you see that and have the sense enough to take steps to make sure it doesnt happen again.
And by that I mean not drinking to begin with.
I am such a firm believer of Karma. And by your heart being in the right place. You are going to be ok.
Good luck., And thank you for showing me that it isnt all about the drunk driver and what consequences they will have to face.
I know too many people killed by drunk drivers. And most of them were only worried about how it screwed their own life up.
You are a great example of owning up for your wrongs.
I hope others will follow.
Perhaps I should be honest here too, forgive me. After reading some of your posts they contain 'the poor me' sentiment but projected onto different scenarios and issues.

You have 'zero sympathy' for drunk driving? So you've never driven under the influence of other narcotics that impair ability? Perhaps nodding out at the wheel?

Many people do worry about themselves after DUI's because they didn't harm anyone and were operating with there senses fully intact, just not within what the law calls 'DUI'. Theres a big difference between driving completely sloshed or within your tolerance level. One can drink 4 beers in two hours and be DUI. Now his case is a little different, but you can't put a blanket statement on these issues.

So perhaps you should look within your own problems and postings, analyze the message you're sending and not be so quick to judge others who have drove under the influence because you don't? Again no offense, just an observation.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:07 PM
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Not sure of your point here Wolf.

I can assure you I've never driven under the influence - been a passenger lots of times though with people who were - I honestly don't know how we didn't kill someone - them or us.

I'm glad for the way permissible levels of alcohol for drivers have been driven down over the years, and I'm glad my country has finally started testing drivers for other drugs as well.

Too many people die. And that's the bottom line.

If it's a judgement call to suggest it's a stupid, selfish, and insane thing to do to drive drunk or high - then I make it....and I'm sure most people here, Kjell included, would agree with me.

D
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:19 PM
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I'm glad you're posting here, but as I said before....you've got a long way to go. I don't believe outpatient is going to do it for you...you've got too much free time. Just my opinion, but I believe you're looking for pity from the group, when instead you should be looking in the mirror. Again...just my opinion.
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Old 11-10-2009, 07:22 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Not sure of your point here Wolf.

I can assure you I've never driven under the influence - been a passenger lots of times though with people who were - I honestly don't know how we didn't kill someone - them or us.

I'm glad for the way permissible levels of alcohol for drivers have been driven down over the years, and I'm glad my country has finally started testing drivers for other drugs as well.

Too many people die. And that's the bottom line.

If it's a judgement call to suggest it's a stupid, selfish, and insane thing to do to drive drunk or high - then I make it....and I'm sure most people here, Kjell included, would agree with me.

D
Hey I'm not arguing that people dying in DUI car wrecks is an awful thing, I agree.

But I again can't agree that .08 is intoxicated driving, when taking away peoples freedom to commute to work for extended periods of time, often times their jobs are jeopardized and their ability to live their life is generally over. Family's suffer greatly, imagine losing your job is this economy due to transportation over having three beers at happy hour??? This repercussion is more extreme than assaulting someone of possessing illegal drugs or many other crimes.

This is just simply in response to your happiness over driving down the legal limit for DUI. Like I said having 4 beers in two hours and your DUI?? Can't agree again, sorry.

Just my opinion.
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