Cheese and Rice!! Please go away!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Glad you posted that you're safe. And I'm glad that you're safe.
Aw, you know, it really isn't about worrying us or letting us down. That's self-pity BS talk. I work with a lot of new guys, Trish. I like to stay close to the front lines that way. The harsh reality is that that most of those guys don't make it. They turn up 6 months or a year later and repeat the same thing all over again, all the while claiming it's different this time. I feel bad for them, but I'm not disappointed or let down. Drunks drink. Junkies use. It's what we do. It's a real miracle when any of us gets transformed and that problem just goes away.
But I've seen it happen over and over. That problem going away. Those that put one foot in front of the other and walk the same path that many others have walked. Just gotta know which foot to put out first. All the rest is automatic.
Many, just as hopeless as you, have recovered. I hope you find it.
Originally Posted by chiynita 
I am sorry for worrying all of you. And sorry I let you all down once again.
But I've seen it happen over and over. That problem going away. Those that put one foot in front of the other and walk the same path that many others have walked. Just gotta know which foot to put out first. All the rest is automatic.
Many, just as hopeless as you, have recovered. I hope you find it.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by littlefish
That is not going to work. It will all fall apart the minute you use again. You will miss classes, not do your projects. Addiction won't let you do anything else, remember?
When I quit drinking and put together my recovery program, a combination of AA, a therapist, reading, a diary, SR...etc, I had finally come to the understanding that there was only one drastic thing I needed to do in my life: quit.
When I quit drinking and put together my recovery program, a combination of AA, a therapist, reading, a diary, SR...etc, I had finally come to the understanding that there was only one drastic thing I needed to do in my life: quit.
This past semester I had what turned out to be major surgery less than two weeks before classes started. I struggled the entire semester, and took two incompletes because the harder I tried, the further behind I fell.
College/school is not the solution for my addictions. Rather, it is a blessing I have been given because I've worked hard in my recovery, established a track record of long-term recovery, and am stable in my life.
Just my two cents.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,479
I don't want to cause this thread to go off rails, but sorry - I'm just not a fan of the 'don't try new stuff cos you might harm yr sobriety' thing.
One of the great things about recovery is the options we open up for ourselves.
Recovery's all about challenging ourselves, and regaining our lives.
If you're bored Trish, and going back to school has always been a dream, if you love graphic art and design (and it's clear you do) and you want to do it - do it.
At the very least look into what you need to do it and what would be expected of you.
As long as you know it's not gonna cure yr addiction (and I believe you know that) and as long
as you're prepared for it to be hard and stressful (I believe you know that too), so be it. You're not a newbie to all this.
We both agree you need change. School should be examined as one of those changes along with everything else people have suggested here.
With what's been happening to you now, the idea that you *might* use by going back to school doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
The idea here that you shouldn't try disappoints me really.
D
One of the great things about recovery is the options we open up for ourselves.
Recovery's all about challenging ourselves, and regaining our lives.
If you're bored Trish, and going back to school has always been a dream, if you love graphic art and design (and it's clear you do) and you want to do it - do it.
At the very least look into what you need to do it and what would be expected of you.
As long as you know it's not gonna cure yr addiction (and I believe you know that) and as long
as you're prepared for it to be hard and stressful (I believe you know that too), so be it. You're not a newbie to all this.
We both agree you need change. School should be examined as one of those changes along with everything else people have suggested here.
With what's been happening to you now, the idea that you *might* use by going back to school doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me.
The idea here that you shouldn't try disappoints me really.
D
Disposable Hero
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Being, ME
Posts: 3,758
To add a statement of my support for your recovery would be redundant...you already have it.
Why do you continue to look outside of yourself for your own value as a human being?? Addiction, and the accompanying insanity, takes away any awareness that you deserve the best possible life for yourself. It blinds you to reality and the responsibility you must take for your own life. It saddens me that you are once again suffering unnecessarily, but thank you for going through some of it with us. Take care, be well, and stay safe.
As always, the light of Hope will stay lit here at SR and the door is always open.
Why do you continue to look outside of yourself for your own value as a human being?? Addiction, and the accompanying insanity, takes away any awareness that you deserve the best possible life for yourself. It blinds you to reality and the responsibility you must take for your own life. It saddens me that you are once again suffering unnecessarily, but thank you for going through some of it with us. Take care, be well, and stay safe.
As always, the light of Hope will stay lit here at SR and the door is always open.
Thinking of you too, Trish and sending speedy recovery prayers your way as well 
hope your getting some much needed R&R right now.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Hey guys...First..Thx for the well wishes.
Surgery didnt go as planned. It was alot worse than he thought and had to go deeper and wider and untwist alot of stuff. So my outpatient surgery turnd into a 3 day hospital stay.
I was in so much pain when they woke me up. And I still am. I can hardly move. But it is gettin better.
I had a problem with a nurse who thiught they were goin to laugh in my face cause I was in so much pain and really crying and almost screaming in pain. Pain or no pain. I didnt let that slide. You know I didnt.
I will be out of work longer than I thought too.
I was suppose to go to the city today to finish some business and I cant. Which is fine with me. 'I have a paycheck at work too.
If I would have gotten out of the hospital as palned I would be high right now.
I wasnt sayin goin to school was goin to solve my addiction.
I didnt mean anything even remotely close to that.
I meant I need to make a drastic change in my lifer aside from addiction. Like get out on my own. Go to school. Do something..anything with myself. I ahve been in the same situation and doin the same ole thing for way too long.
Its time to stop just gettin by and hangin out.
It had nothing to do with addiction.
Anyway..I am home now and goin to rest. I can hardly move and hardly sit up without alot of pain.
Talk to you all later
Surgery didnt go as planned. It was alot worse than he thought and had to go deeper and wider and untwist alot of stuff. So my outpatient surgery turnd into a 3 day hospital stay.
I was in so much pain when they woke me up. And I still am. I can hardly move. But it is gettin better.
I had a problem with a nurse who thiught they were goin to laugh in my face cause I was in so much pain and really crying and almost screaming in pain. Pain or no pain. I didnt let that slide. You know I didnt.
I will be out of work longer than I thought too.
I was suppose to go to the city today to finish some business and I cant. Which is fine with me. 'I have a paycheck at work too.
If I would have gotten out of the hospital as palned I would be high right now.
I wasnt sayin goin to school was goin to solve my addiction.
I didnt mean anything even remotely close to that.
I meant I need to make a drastic change in my lifer aside from addiction. Like get out on my own. Go to school. Do something..anything with myself. I ahve been in the same situation and doin the same ole thing for way too long.
Its time to stop just gettin by and hangin out.
It had nothing to do with addiction.
Anyway..I am home now and goin to rest. I can hardly move and hardly sit up without alot of pain.
Talk to you all later
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,928
Hi, Trish! So glad to know you are at home now. Rest and do what the doctors tell you. There's plenty of time to deal with changes in your life once you are better. ((((HUGS))))
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