wjw1970

Day 7, and had initial counseling assessment today. I'll be going 2x a week, starting next week for alcohol treatment.

For as long as it takes.

Thanks for all the support from my SR friends!

CSTPhoenix

Hello all,
Believe I am at hour 25 right now. This won't be the first time I have gone through days or even weeks or months dry but alcohol is killing me nonetheless and I have decided to get some help for it. I know it's a long road ahead but I do have hope. Tried AA about 11 years ago but I walked away from it after a week (stupid me). Could have saved that 11 years of torture but I'm a stubborn ass and didn't think I needed help. Haha I was wrong. Anyways, nice to see all the posts from people who are going through this as well and really take time to talk to one another. I'm pretty chatty so you will see quite a few posts from me I'm sure. I will post day 2 tomorrow I am confident.


Scott

SF69

Welcome to SR, CST Phoenix

Sounds like my story (except this is the first time going to AA for me). On my own, I'd get 7 days if I was lucky. With help from AA (and these forums), I'm on Day 31 and going strong.

Negative Man

Congrats on the 7 days WJW, and welcome Phoenix. I'm a returner to the board. Had 40 days sober, but fell into a bad five days since then. It's so strange that things seem *okay* during those five days -- like, maybe I'm not an alcoholic. But then when I take account of everything, I suddenly feel so terrible. And just plain afraid. Yeck! I want that confidence I had for 40 days back!

Anyways, day one for me. Since I'm having trouble doing it for myself, I'm doing day one for TheOnlyWay, one of my homies here on SR.

I'll be checking in during the day. The Two Weeks and Under Board is about to get very busy.

Kickit

Welcome Phoenix, hello all. I am nearing the end of day 5 and feel ok.

Well done for trying again negative man, you are not on your own, I got 2 months sober, felt great then started again, had a brief halt ....then started again. Hoping I can stick this time although I still have that bit of 'I know I am an alcoholic, but I don't want to be, I want to be able to drink' and numerous times like you I have decided that I am ok and can drink!

Lots of folk here look to have had a few mishaps before they managed to stay on the wagon.

Hope everyone is doing well

Negative Man

Thanks Kickit. That is right on: Feeling suddenly like it's okay to drink... Well, I can truly say that I've been drinking for five days now and I feel HORRIBLE. I mean, I don't mean ashamed or guilty, just physically horrible. I wish today was my 45th day instead of my 1st.

I forgot how the ol' synapses start firing a million miles an hour once I get into drinking again. I can't slow my brain down, and I feel like I'm under constant threat. Like someone is out to kill me.

Woo. It feels better just to write that. It's going to be a rough 5 days ahead of me. One day at a time.

Hang in there everyone! I'm really thankful for our wonderful board.

Negative Man

Made it through day one. Yay!

Dean62

Congratulations on the first day NM. It's great you didn't stay out there very long. I'll hang with you here as much as time allows until you "graduate".

Kasey

I've only ever made it a month without a drink since I was 20. I'm 32...I rewarded myself with everything during that month but all I wanted was a drink. And I doubt I will make it a month this time. I just don't want to stop. My mind tells me that if I get past the DTs I will be able to cope with a social drink and manage my life. It's a sad goal.

Kasey

nice

Kasey

Tell us how you are, it helps me to know. I'm only on day 3 and I can barely make it through the work day.

mtnmagic

I just finished day 14 for me. The horror and pain of these first weeks are very much in the front of my mind. I hope they stay there, cuz this has been the longest two weeks of my life.

The majority of physical withdrawals are gone. I still am struggling with any kind of normal sleeping pattern. I'm grateful when I get four or more hours of sleep a night. When I look at the mirror, I'm no longer disgusted at who is looking back at me. I feel healthier. I still have major anxiety that comes and goes.

Hey Negative Man, I know you can do this. You helped me so much two weeks ago when I was sure I couldn't get through another hour, let alone another day. You helped give me hope...that hope has built up, bit by bit every single day I have stayed sober. If I can do anything to be there for you, let me know. I'm thinking about you sending positive energy your way!

All the best to the rest of you on your first days...Dean62, Kasey, Tired Mama, CST Phoenix, Vashti, SF69, Kickit,wjw, little el, alberta, mayorob1, Curio and all of you that I might have missed. It has been said before, but I tell you true...If I can do this one day at a time, believe me so can you!

Kickit

Hello all!

Congrats on getting through day 1 NM, Kasey - know that feeling well, keep at it. Mtnmagic you are doing so well. Phoenix, how are you doing? Everyone else, we are all here together we just have to keep going - there are some great results happening out there!

Day 6, feeling fine (so far!). As I think I have said before, I have been here before and it was the later days when cravings kicked in for me, along with that 'Oh come on I can drink!' Like you Kasey I still long to be able to drink 'normally' and my mind tells me that 'of course I will be able to now', even though I know I just can't. Does that stop, ever? I got to 2months before but still felt that way really even though the cravings did get better???

I am applying for a job today, having been out of work for about 2 years (after taking redundancy), fear and low self esteem kept me out of the job market, even though I worked for 26 years since leaving school and had a fairly good job at the end. Hey, think I am just putting it off now sitting here 'chatting' (not like me - much!! )... better get back to it!

Dean62

Good morning Kasey. It's possible to not want to stop drinking and to want to stop drinking at the same time, I have been that way for years now. I have tried and failed to stay sober many times. It has been suggested to me to try something different this time. For you I would suggest, Don't listen to what your mind is telling you! It is telling you to cope with a social drink and manage your life and yet you are going through DT's right now. How manageable is life today? If you like DT's then by all means keep drinking your gonna love what lies ahead, consider what it says in the bb. "it always gets worse, never better." Don't try and do this alone Kasey. Keep coming back.

wjw1970

Thanks to everyone for being supportive to those of us who are struggling through our first days of being sober.

Day 10.

Came close to slipping yesterday, but I had a guardian angel looking out and helping me (not to mention SR friends) and managed to squeak through one.more.day.

Good luck to all my friends.....we can do this!!!:ghug

Dean62

"The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker." AA big book.

I hear you Kickit. After six months without a job I was afraid I would never get a job again. I still have problems with self esteem but I am very grateful to have a good job today. I know you can too.

Dean62

Congratulations on your first 14 days of horror and pain. It does get better.

Kickit

There I was saying I felt ok. Well, here I am trying to complete my job application, then out of the blue I think 'my friend is coming for a meal tonight, if she brings wine I will have some...yummm'... even thought about making sure she did!! I wanted to drink, but got past it a bit, had water and fruit and told that thought to 'get stuffed!!' (do you have that saying outside of the UK?!!)

PESKY PESKY PESKY!! Its still lurking..:uzi:

Thanks for the advice Dean and hi wjw, well done for not giving in, catch up later!

(Just thought was the trigger my anxiety about this application - don't feel too bad about it on the surface, but if think maybe mild panic is bubbling, little voice saying 'don't bother?? It's all very frustrating.)

Dean62

:uzi2: I KILLED IT I KILLED IT!!! Oh wait.....what is that. Anxiety is one of my favorite triggers. I have used it many times. Very handy it is.

Hope the job hunting goes well.

Kickit

Dean, I forgot to say congrats on the job, and thanks for the posts. LOL !!

I am thinking of getting Elmer Fudd and his shotgun it's geting that bad today! 'I'm a gonna git you you pesky critter'!!