Going to try again- hope I make it
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
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Day 14
Well i made it to 2 weeks. I feel yucky in the head today. I don't know why. I feel grumpy, irritable, kind of depressed. I don't feel like doing anything today. I read my daily meditation and wrote in my journal. I made a grocery list for my husband. I just can't snap out of it.
I don't want to drink or even have a craving. So that's good anyway. My husband said that maybe I'll feel better after my meeting tonight. It's my home group now. It got real small since i was in the rooms the first time. A lot of the meetings in my area got small. I don't know where everybody went. We seem to have a lot of newcomers (like me, under a year) and old timers. Where all the in between people go?
Barb
I don't want to drink or even have a craving. So that's good anyway. My husband said that maybe I'll feel better after my meeting tonight. It's my home group now. It got real small since i was in the rooms the first time. A lot of the meetings in my area got small. I don't know where everybody went. We seem to have a lot of newcomers (like me, under a year) and old timers. Where all the in between people go?
Barb
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Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
Originally Posted by scaredykat 
Well i made it to 2 weeks. I feel yucky in the head today. I don't know why. I feel grumpy, irritable, kind of depressed. I don't feel like doing anything today.
Welcome to my world Barb!
Congrats on 2 weeks hun!
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Hi Guys, I'm feeling a lot better tonight. You guys are right about being human and having to feel feelings. I'm not use to doing it sober. That's for sure. It's been many years feeling stuff sober. In the past if I was depressed or angry i would reach for the bottle every time.
On a little side note. My husband got me a video game tonight. Yeah!! Yes, i love video games. I have since i was a teenager and had my Atari 2600. Anyone remember them? He got me "The urbz - Sims in the city" for our nintendo game cube. I love the Sims games. I don't have any for the computer. I don't want any games for the computer because of my time limit with my arm and back. To me the computer is for learning, my writing, and talking on forums. Like you guys.
Barb
On a little side note. My husband got me a video game tonight. Yeah!! Yes, i love video games. I have since i was a teenager and had my Atari 2600. Anyone remember them? He got me "The urbz - Sims in the city" for our nintendo game cube. I love the Sims games. I don't have any for the computer. I don't want any games for the computer because of my time limit with my arm and back. To me the computer is for learning, my writing, and talking on forums. Like you guys.
Barb
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
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Day 15
Hi Everyone, Another day. I'm feeling kind of yucky again. Maybe its because its a weekend again and I'm still getting use to not drinking on them.
There was a teenage alcoholic at my meeting last night. I never meet one before. She's so young. She's going in the 11th grade and is sober for a 1 1/2 years. It just blows my mind. I didn't have my first drunk until i was a senior in high school. She must of been quite young with her first drunk.
Not going to talk to long today. I'm going out to work on my roses outside in a few minutes. They need a haircut bad. LOL Here's a picture of them from last year for those that haven't seen them yet.
Barb
There was a teenage alcoholic at my meeting last night. I never meet one before. She's so young. She's going in the 11th grade and is sober for a 1 1/2 years. It just blows my mind. I didn't have my first drunk until i was a senior in high school. She must of been quite young with her first drunk.
Not going to talk to long today. I'm going out to work on my roses outside in a few minutes. They need a haircut bad. LOL Here's a picture of them from last year for those that haven't seen them yet.
Barb
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, N.Y.
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Hi Guys, I'm not doing good tonight. I want to drink soooo bad. I was bawling an hour ago. Tonight is so hard and i don't know why, and its pissing me off. I don't feel normal at all. I hate myself feeling like this.
I guess its good I can't get anything now. Everything is closing now. My husband just went to bed. Here I am miserable. I hate it. I feel like a loser tonight. I feel like this is a no win situation. If i drink I'm damed if i stay sober I'm damed. Well I don't know what else to write. I can't think right now. I guess I'll just sit here and pout till i go to bed.
Barb
I guess its good I can't get anything now. Everything is closing now. My husband just went to bed. Here I am miserable. I hate it. I feel like a loser tonight. I feel like this is a no win situation. If i drink I'm damed if i stay sober I'm damed. Well I don't know what else to write. I can't think right now. I guess I'll just sit here and pout till i go to bed.
Barb
Last edited by scaredykat; 08-05-2007 at 09:56 PM. Reason: edit
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Location: UK
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Hi scaredy, its just the emotional/mood rollercoaster hun.
At about 2 weeks I had a mental craving so strong I was crying with it, I felt awful. It wasnt just craving it was like anguish too.
It passed and things have got better for me, a lot better. What you are going through will pass sooner than you think.
At about 2 weeks I had a mental craving so strong I was crying with it, I felt awful. It wasnt just craving it was like anguish too.
It passed and things have got better for me, a lot better. What you are going through will pass sooner than you think.
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Day 16
Hi Everyone, well I made through last night. Thank you to those that talked to me last night. That was scary last night. That was my first real bad craving since I quit. I am so glad I didn't drink last night. I would of felt really bad and depressed today if I did. So today is a very good day because I'm still sober. Thank God.
I'm keeping it real simple today, so i don't stress myself out after last night. I didn't work in my workbook today on step 1 because of where i left off. I'm on the section about abuse. I mentally can't deal with that today. If i have to I'll skip over that for a while and go on to the questions on powerlessness and unmanageability with my drinking. I did read out of my Living sober book. I like that book. It keeps things real simple for you on how to stay sober.
Barb
I'm keeping it real simple today, so i don't stress myself out after last night. I didn't work in my workbook today on step 1 because of where i left off. I'm on the section about abuse. I mentally can't deal with that today. If i have to I'll skip over that for a while and go on to the questions on powerlessness and unmanageability with my drinking. I did read out of my Living sober book. I like that book. It keeps things real simple for you on how to stay sober.
Barb
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
Glad you're here Barb. I was thinking about you this morning. I'm glad you made it through last night. I've had nights like that where I've posted here feeling desperate and it does help. You did the right thing.
hugs.
hugs.
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