One Year And Under Part 71
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,747
Thanks y’all. And great to hear from everyone
Captain Haddock, yes I used to be a three pronged fork and now I am a duck.
I liked the fork, but when I saw it it reminded me very very vividly of one particular night of copious wine drinking with an ex employer of mine.
I decided to change it to a duck because, after a different particular night of copious drinking, it was the rubber duck in my friend’s bathtub who witnessed my scary episode wherein I had the epiphany that I was done drinking once and for all. In my drunken desperation I said to myself, “I can’t die in front of this duck.” As long as I live I will have a duck around me.
Captain Haddock, yes I used to be a three pronged fork and now I am a duck.
I liked the fork, but when I saw it it reminded me very very vividly of one particular night of copious wine drinking with an ex employer of mine.
I decided to change it to a duck because, after a different particular night of copious drinking, it was the rubber duck in my friend’s bathtub who witnessed my scary episode wherein I had the epiphany that I was done drinking once and for all. In my drunken desperation I said to myself, “I can’t die in front of this duck.” As long as I live I will have a duck around me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Plenny, thanks for sharing the story behind the duck. It’s always nice for me the learn the significance behind some people’s avatars. Sometimes it is obvious, but of course in your case I would never have guessed! May you always be in hot pursuit by a duck.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Alpine, I love that photo, it's stunning. I kept track of my days early on, the weeks, months, eventually I was comfortable enough living a sober life it no longer jumped out at me. Some folk like to/need to count days passing, others not so much. What matters, as you say, is sticking to the path.
Plenny thanks for the back story on the duck, a visual reminder for you of how far you have come already.
Sam, good to see you, it's good you are focussed on your recovery, it's important while you are strong in your determination, to look back at previous lapses and think of how you can do things differently moving forward to maintain your recovery.
All is good in Tootsville, it's getting cooler now in Spain, still mid to high 20's (that's C not f!) but much more pleasant. I'm not looking forward to the cold back in Scotland when we return in November!
Plenny thanks for the back story on the duck, a visual reminder for you of how far you have come already.
Sam, good to see you, it's good you are focussed on your recovery, it's important while you are strong in your determination, to look back at previous lapses and think of how you can do things differently moving forward to maintain your recovery.
All is good in Tootsville, it's getting cooler now in Spain, still mid to high 20's (that's C not f!) but much more pleasant. I'm not looking forward to the cold back in Scotland when we return in November!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,105
Hello all-
Thanks Toots, for the recommendation to review why I lapsed in the past. I've written a few things down in my journal and shared some thoughts on a different thread and I'm going to list below:
Peer Pressure(at least perceived by me)-ie, I felt compelled to attend happy hours, or other drinking events and shocker-I'd end up drinking. I will not attend any drinking events at least for the next few months(and maybe not ever--what's the point?)
Isolation-I huddle in my house and spend too much time occupied with my "problems" which leads to self-pity which leads to alcohol. I now have tools to use when I begin to feel this way(thanks to my therapist) and I've made a huge effort to become more engaged with others instead of isolating.
Associating with drinking buddies- I realized I fell in with a group of people who use drinking as an activity in and of itself. I am distancing myself from them while replacing those with healthier options-going to the gym, attending events with friends who don't focus solely on drinking, and new hobbies.
Sorry for the length, but I was on a roll :-)
Thanks Toots, for the recommendation to review why I lapsed in the past. I've written a few things down in my journal and shared some thoughts on a different thread and I'm going to list below:
Peer Pressure(at least perceived by me)-ie, I felt compelled to attend happy hours, or other drinking events and shocker-I'd end up drinking. I will not attend any drinking events at least for the next few months(and maybe not ever--what's the point?)
Isolation-I huddle in my house and spend too much time occupied with my "problems" which leads to self-pity which leads to alcohol. I now have tools to use when I begin to feel this way(thanks to my therapist) and I've made a huge effort to become more engaged with others instead of isolating.
Associating with drinking buddies- I realized I fell in with a group of people who use drinking as an activity in and of itself. I am distancing myself from them while replacing those with healthier options-going to the gym, attending events with friends who don't focus solely on drinking, and new hobbies.
Sorry for the length, but I was on a roll :-)
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
No apologies necessary Sam, it's good for us to see what you've written, it shows you've given a lot of thought to your sobriety and have great intent to follow through.
If you are a social drunk you seek others of a kind - they don't judge you, and also convince you of the normality of the lifestyle. When you follow the recovery road, by necessity, these fellow drinkers get left behind. They are not friends that will help you in your recovery as they want you back in the fold. They also don't like a mirror being held up to their behaviour.
I was more of a secular drinker, my husband working away at the time enabled that. I needed to find a replacement for my drinking to engage my hands and my mind. I found some evening classes that not only gave me that but made me see other people don't live their lives around drink - and it didn't matter to them! It led to me getting back into writing which took up a lot of the next few years. I also spent many hours here on SR, following threads that held my interests -for me a limerick thread was addictive, I'm not sure it's still going though!
A friend once said if you leave a bottle shaped hole in your life, it will eventually be filled with another bottle. Essentially, when you stop drinking you absolutely must find other stimulating ways to fill your time, and preferably with folk for whom drinking is an occasional social event not a priority.
Sam, sounds like you're doing everything right
Have a good one Undies!
If you are a social drunk you seek others of a kind - they don't judge you, and also convince you of the normality of the lifestyle. When you follow the recovery road, by necessity, these fellow drinkers get left behind. They are not friends that will help you in your recovery as they want you back in the fold. They also don't like a mirror being held up to their behaviour.
I was more of a secular drinker, my husband working away at the time enabled that. I needed to find a replacement for my drinking to engage my hands and my mind. I found some evening classes that not only gave me that but made me see other people don't live their lives around drink - and it didn't matter to them! It led to me getting back into writing which took up a lot of the next few years. I also spent many hours here on SR, following threads that held my interests -for me a limerick thread was addictive, I'm not sure it's still going though!
A friend once said if you leave a bottle shaped hole in your life, it will eventually be filled with another bottle. Essentially, when you stop drinking you absolutely must find other stimulating ways to fill your time, and preferably with folk for whom drinking is an occasional social event not a priority.
Sam, sounds like you're doing everything right
Have a good one Undies!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2011
Posts: 3,105
Hi all!
What a great weekend--a race and picnic yesterday and some football(American version) watching today along with various chores. Sober weekends rock!!
Toots--I love what you wrote, you hit the nail on the head, especially the mention of "people whose lives don't revolve around drink," I know when I discovered them I was sort of--amazed. I realized I don't have to live the way I had been living, and the I was(still am) missing out on a lot of life experiences. I think back to when I was younger-pre alcohol- and all the things I did which just vanished over the years when the focus was clearly on "when can I drink next?'
So, yes, I'm re-discovering myself, in a sense.
What a great weekend--a race and picnic yesterday and some football(American version) watching today along with various chores. Sober weekends rock!!
Toots--I love what you wrote, you hit the nail on the head, especially the mention of "people whose lives don't revolve around drink," I know when I discovered them I was sort of--amazed. I realized I don't have to live the way I had been living, and the I was(still am) missing out on a lot of life experiences. I think back to when I was younger-pre alcohol- and all the things I did which just vanished over the years when the focus was clearly on "when can I drink next?'
So, yes, I'm re-discovering myself, in a sense.
Living and Loving Life at Last
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: gods own country
Posts: 12,171
Hi Captain, good to see you, we had a productive Saturday lots of painting done!
Sam sober Saturdays are so much better!
It ebbs and flows here, there are much more active threads. Sometimes people move on to those and forget about here, so folk drop off SR, either because they start drinking again and their AV is louder than their Recovery Voice. That happened to me a time or two, and even when I came back I read rather than posted at first.
I hope everyone is doing okay, and will support anyone in need who asks.
Sam sober Saturdays are so much better! It ebbs and flows here, there are much more active threads. Sometimes people move on to those and forget about here, so folk drop off SR, either because they start drinking again and their AV is louder than their Recovery Voice. That happened to me a time or two, and even when I came back I read rather than posted at first.
I hope everyone is doing okay, and will support anyone in need who asks.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: South Africa
Posts: 1,536
Thanks toots. Painting is one of those home chores which is often dreaded, but does give a lot of satisfaction when it’s done. Also, I kind of like that new paint smell, as long as it doesn’t stay too long.
Yes, I understand people move on and that the AV can get the better of even the “best” of us. Anyway, I’m staying close because it has taught me that it helps to keep my recovery voice the louder of the two.
Yes, I understand people move on and that the AV can get the better of even the “best” of us. Anyway, I’m staying close because it has taught me that it helps to keep my recovery voice the louder of the two.
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