Hey Dee,
and everyone else,
I am here,
just in bed . Had an awful night . Problems with seren and her dad. I need to start putting in some action around the situation so will be doing that this week.
im good. Well kind of. Still grieving obviously and am up and down with it. Am dabbling in SLAA fellowship and learning a lot about myself. I need and sponsor though as I really want to work the programme and get true freedom and I believe this is for me. Done a bit of AA just to hear the message and remember that I am an alcoholic and drugs and alcohol are big no no’s although I do truly relate now to what it says in the book that alcohol was just a symptom of my problem. My underlying issues are low self worth/self esteem, not feeling good enough, terrified of being rejected and abandoned, unlovable, unworthy. Pretty sad really hey? But I’m not the only one to feel this way and there is a programme and a way to learn to learn to love and value myself.
All the covid sites are closing end of March so I am now job hunting! It’s time to move on , not just for me but also I need to find something where I can be home for seren and not reliant on her dad.
I have no desire to drink, if I do get that ridiculous romantic notion of a drink will be nice, I remind myself there is no such thing as one drink for me and I remember where it will take me. Thank God for zoom as there is always a meeting available on my phone.
I haven’t been here much. Life has gotten busy. Also I am conscious of being on my phone a lot when seren is around, I think it really affects her.
but I need to put my recovery first so will make more effort.
hope everyone is doing ok?
can’t believe it is march tomorrow!!!