Class of February 2021 Support Thread Pt 2
Member
Join Date: Dec 2020
Posts: 729
Originally Posted by AL48 
Hi everyone, walked home from work today and I stopped in the usual supermarket and bought some food for tomorrow and continued on.
While walking I started to think about what I usually bought which was a bottle of 7up a 750ml vodka and a water. I would pour out the water and make a vodka and 7up drink and consume it on the way home without anyone being any the wiser i think.
I did this many times to hide my problem from everyone and have never spoken about it to anyone. I feel really guilty tonight for my deception and the amount of time i wasted while drunk when i should have been spending more quality time at home with my family, granted most of the time drunk was when everyone had gone to bed, more hiding i suppose.
I don't know why this particular visit to the supermarket sparked these feelings, may be its all part of the recovery i need to get to grips with at this stage. Im in bed now and dwelling on it. Im not going to drink or anything like that but im feel the polar opposite of what i was feeling lately which was great. Hopefully better day tomorrow.
Goodnight everyone.
While walking I started to think about what I usually bought which was a bottle of 7up a 750ml vodka and a water. I would pour out the water and make a vodka and 7up drink and consume it on the way home without anyone being any the wiser i think.
I did this many times to hide my problem from everyone and have never spoken about it to anyone. I feel really guilty tonight for my deception and the amount of time i wasted while drunk when i should have been spending more quality time at home with my family, granted most of the time drunk was when everyone had gone to bed, more hiding i suppose.
I don't know why this particular visit to the supermarket sparked these feelings, may be its all part of the recovery i need to get to grips with at this stage. Im in bed now and dwelling on it. Im not going to drink or anything like that but im feel the polar opposite of what i was feeling lately which was great. Hopefully better day tomorrow.
Goodnight everyone.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,705
AL, I think that self forgiveness is really important as well. I too did what you described but I skipped the water and 7UP and just drank the Vodka straight. I knew it was wrong then but just did it anyway. I have beat myself up about it but the bottom line is that doesn’t do me any good. I’m still a good person. My addiction didn’t change that and I am trying the be the best sober person I can be now. That is what is most important.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2020
Posts: 517
30 days alcohol free! They let us out of work an hour early and I was really pumped to take a nice long walk with my pup, but it was too cold and windy for a long walk. I really can’t wait for the weather to warm up, which next week should be in the 60s.
I had some bad moments of feeling irritable, bored, and lonely, but I’m just really trying to focus on the stillness.
I had some bad moments of feeling irritable, bored, and lonely, but I’m just really trying to focus on the stillness.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,473
Al, Hevyn's signature here says something like 'You are so much more than the worst thing you've ever done' and I love that.
Congrats on 30 days Bodhi and congrats to everyone else on their milestones too
Have a good weekend everybody
D
Congrats on 30 days Bodhi and congrats to everyone else on their milestones too
Have a good weekend everybody
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,767
Great going Bodhi! 30 days is such a key mental milestone. 
I'm looking forward to those 60 temps too. They're coming.
AL, I hope you can forgive those patterns of the past. You've walked many miles away from those days. The compulsion has no scruples but sober we can all do better and live better.
I'm looking forward to those 60 temps too. They're coming.AL, I hope you can forgive those patterns of the past. You've walked many miles away from those days. The compulsion has no scruples but sober we can all do better and live better.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,846
Thankyou everyone slept on and off all night and im tired this morning but i will keep your words close today. I often reread your comments as they are comforting and help me put things in perspective when needed. I will tell myself "the past dosent define you, the present dose" and the present me is a good man. Thankyou again everyone
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 601
Morning everyone, burning leaves in the garden this morning with my wife - love the smell of woodsmoke. I can smell it in her hair.
Welcome to FFries and congrats Bod on 30 days and CAGY on 5 weeks - both significant milestones - you both need to treat yourself.
Good idea to walk yourself sober, Tank. Sounds like you're getting those big pendulum moodswings AL. Thanks for watching over us and the wise words, VCat
I ran 33miles yesterday - really enjoyed it and so blissfully tired this morning - feel like I'm on Valium. I'm on the upswing at the moment - preparing for a downturn - prob 5pm tonight
Welcome to FFries and congrats Bod on 30 days and CAGY on 5 weeks - both significant milestones - you both need to treat yourself.
Good idea to walk yourself sober, Tank. Sounds like you're getting those big pendulum moodswings AL. Thanks for watching over us and the wise words, VCat
I ran 33miles yesterday - really enjoyed it and so blissfully tired this morning - feel like I'm on Valium. I'm on the upswing at the moment - preparing for a downturn - prob 5pm tonight
s
Member
Join Date: Nov 2019
Posts: 3,767
Enemdio -- Are you running solo or with others? Ultra sport is mind-boggling to me. You must be made of steel or something. 
Me: I have some joint aches from mild auto-immune thing. I'm currently weaning off a low-dose steroid after 2 years. The condition started soon after my relapse. One morning I could not get out of bed, stiffness and intense pain everywhere. I still could not stop the drink and didn't tell the doctor. I'm better now but trying to regain strength and muscle tone I lost during those 2 years. Oh, the dark places we all went.
On a brighter note: The sun is shining and I am getting Spring Fever. Keep to the path everyone. Forward and Free.
Me: I have some joint aches from mild auto-immune thing. I'm currently weaning off a low-dose steroid after 2 years. The condition started soon after my relapse. One morning I could not get out of bed, stiffness and intense pain everywhere. I still could not stop the drink and didn't tell the doctor. I'm better now but trying to regain strength and muscle tone I lost during those 2 years. Oh, the dark places we all went.
On a brighter note: The sun is shining and I am getting Spring Fever. Keep to the path everyone. Forward and Free.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,705
Enemdio, 33 miles is amazing. My knees don’t like running anymore but I used to enjoy it. Silversky, when I was drinking heavily I suffered from gout at times. It would go away in a few days. When I first started quitting after 20+ of drinking, I would get gout really bad a week or so after stopping. It was like stopping triggered it. This hasn’t happened this last year of quitting and relapsing. I think because the relapse is not long in length. No more relapsing.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 601
Mainly solo SSky, especially in lockdown. What was the gout like Scott? Was it caused by the drink? My father had it and he's an alcoholic.
The ultra stuff has been my saviour - apart from boozing, it's the only thing I've ever stuck with - all the other hobbies about which I became briefly obsessed, chess, motorbikes, fishing, martial arts, etc. all came and went but I've always run and the older I've got the longer the distances have become - I've often wondered why that's so. Is it because we really sort of designed to move - to follow the Bison herds and the like? Maybe it's a reason we get so stressed, staying in the same place to live and work?
Didn't someone else post something here recently about movement being soothing and helping with sobriety?
The ultra stuff has been my saviour - apart from boozing, it's the only thing I've ever stuck with - all the other hobbies about which I became briefly obsessed, chess, motorbikes, fishing, martial arts, etc. all came and went but I've always run and the older I've got the longer the distances have become - I've often wondered why that's so. Is it because we really sort of designed to move - to follow the Bison herds and the like? Maybe it's a reason we get so stressed, staying in the same place to live and work?
Didn't someone else post something here recently about movement being soothing and helping with sobriety?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Western Wisconsin
Posts: 1,705
Enemdio - Gout is essentially a form of arthritis and the exact cause is really not known. However, it is associated with heavy drinking. It often attacks the big toe joint at the side of the foot. It’s a build up of uric acid in the joint that causes inflammation and really A LOT of pain. I’ve also had it in my ankles and knees. I have not had it in a year or so now. I hope not drinking keeps it away forever.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2021
Posts: 2,846
Good morning everyone. Well when it ebbs it flows. I was hoping for a better day yesterday only to have a really stressful busy day with to many clients and customers breaking covid rules. I then thankfully arrived home only to find my daughter crying and wife almost pulling her hair out.
It turns out after only returning to school last week for the first time this year a teacher has been tested positive for covid and my daughter is a close contact. I mean what are the chances.Now off to the test centre if we ever get an appointment and wait for another few days for the results.
My walking will now be in the dark early hours or late at night even though im not considered a risk to anyone. Walking is like my new drug of choice it seems to clear my head and fills me with good and happy thoughts. So if anyone is looking for advice on emotional feelings today i have a good grasp as ive gone through them all this week😬.
Definitely a good time to be AF in this situation.
Hope you all have a great sober day everyone.
It turns out after only returning to school last week for the first time this year a teacher has been tested positive for covid and my daughter is a close contact. I mean what are the chances.Now off to the test centre if we ever get an appointment and wait for another few days for the results.
My walking will now be in the dark early hours or late at night even though im not considered a risk to anyone. Walking is like my new drug of choice it seems to clear my head and fills me with good and happy thoughts. So if anyone is looking for advice on emotional feelings today i have a good grasp as ive gone through them all this week😬.
Definitely a good time to be AF in this situation.
Hope you all have a great sober day everyone.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: US
Posts: 16,919
Hello friends 
Just thought I'd drop by with an invitation to the One Year and Under Club ~ For anyone looking for a little extra support....more good peeps to chat with. Hope to see you there!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-67-a.html (One Year And Under Club Part 67)
Just thought I'd drop by with an invitation to the One Year and Under Club ~ For anyone looking for a little extra support....more good peeps to chat with. Hope to see you there!
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...part-67-a.html (One Year And Under Club Part 67)
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