AL, I think that self forgiveness is really important as well. I too did what you described but I skipped the water and 7UP and just drank the Vodka straight. I knew it was wrong then but just did it anyway. I have beat myself up about it but the bottom line is that doesn’t do me any good. I’m still a good person. My addiction didn’t change that and I am trying the be the best sober person I can be now. That is what is most important.