Jewel72

Good morning on day 3.

I have to go to the grocery store today and my AV is already telling me to purchase wine one last time. There never seems to be that one last time though. Last week I gave in and couldn’t stop until Friday. Do not want to go back.

Freedom, Well done on 11 days. Keep moving forward. We have to kill off that beast within. And the only way to do it is to work through the cravings. I’m hoping success and new life for both of us.

LarryF

Exactly. I always think I can have just a little just one day and then not drink the next day. It just doesn't work that way for me. Day 15 and my focus remains on that first drink. If I don't take that first drink I don't have to worry about the second or third drink. I don't have to worry about another binge. I don't have to worry about triggering my afib and the scary pain that comes with it. I don't have to worry about another trip to the hospital and the scary bill that comes with it.

Congrats on day 3 Jewel72. Change that thinking. All you have to do today is not take that first drink.

venuscat

I am with Larry all the way. s

Tell your AV it is a liar dear Jewel.
And with you all the way while you go shopping. s

freedomfries

I'm stressed about missing out on college because of not being registered and in my infinite wisdom, I decided today would be a good day to quit vaping. So now I'm dealing with nicotine withdrawal on top of everything.

Deep breaths, FF, deep breaths. I'm 5 hours and 38 minutes off vaping. I've made it this far. I've dumped all my vaping gear in a public bin and I can't afford to stock up again so there's no going back.

CALM BLUE OCEAN CALM BLUE OCEAN CALM BLUE OCEAN

BringingBackB

I have a gym less than 100 metres from my house! Not that I have a clue what i'm doing at the moment, but It's fun to just wander about and find things, It's definitely got me walking more already

venuscat

I am mega-confused FF. I thought college was all on track, just waiting for the registration p'work. s

freedomfries

I'm missing out on some lectures and labs while I wait for the registration to be sorted. But some lecturers are sharing the links to the online lectures with me while I'm untegistered. So it's half on track.

venuscat

OK well that's positive....
Gosh I hope they get back to you soon.

freedomfries

Me too
​​​​​​
​​​​​​But I'm trying to be positiveWorst case scenario I'm not registered til week 4. Then I'll only have missed out on labs and some lectures for four weeks out of twelve in a semester. So I should still be able to pass. I'll get the notes for the lectures I missed and labs are every two weeks so I'll only miss two labs for each module in the semester.

venuscat

I hear you....you worried me when you threw out all of your vape stuff.
I think it's great if you stop, for sure, but I don't want you to have extra pressure on you that makes this harder.
You are just doing so awesomely well. I am happy for you. ❤️

OK....so you may well have talked about this elsewhere, but other than the hands on part with the ceramics or whatever, I don't know what your degree is. Art?

venuscat

Jewel honey....whatever happened at the store, we are here....maybe this is when you need to talk about it. s xx ❤️

freedomfries

Mechanical Engineering. It would be working in a lab processing ceramic materials and testing them for different mechanical properties and microstructures. If she agrees to be my supervisor. Not very arty at all!

Patcha

Freedomfries - my unsolicited advice is to put your focus on the most dangerous addiction first, which is alcohol. I worry you might be setting yourself up for failure by trying to kick everything at once. Overeating and vaping for a few months longer won't kill you. If you drink again, you might kill yourself or someone else.

venuscat

I had an engineer dad and I have two engineer nephews.
Awesome field.

(And I have skills...I can work out ways to fix things that are a bit outside the ox.
In Aus, I had an old ribbon antenna hooked up through my VCR to enable HDTV. ).

Patcha

Good morning septemberinos. I am finding that when the cravings hit, it's an almost irresistible imperative to drink. It's not just a "hmm I feel like a drink", it's like GIVE ME A FREAKING DRINK RIGHT NOW GODDAMMIT OR I'LL DIE! But it does pass.

Outonthetiles

Congrats Septembers on a great month! I hope everyone is doing well.

venuscat

Well, your AV is yelling at you because you aren't listening dear Patcha
Raise your eyebrows, give it a look and tell it to "rak off Normie".

(OMG....how old is that song? )

LarryF

Wow resentments come on fast. A couple of problems. I am the alcoholic so I have lost my voice in my own home. Next problem. The resentment is involves people living in my home. I really really don't want them here. I know I am self centered and only think of myself but I do believe I have met my match. I don't need a reason to drink but tonight is a situation that starts the negative thinking. Alcohol is the go to. That's not happening tonight. I hope that lurking notion is not in my head tomorrow. Grateful I attended to AA Zoom meetings today. Grateful I can come here and vent.

Mini vent over. Guess I still don't know what to do with my emotions yet.

Dee74

I hope you can resolve that situation Larry, sounds rough.

D

LarryF

Thanks Dee. I'm good for tonight (sober) and tomorrow is a new day.