Class of June Support Thread 2020 Part 1
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,548
Originally Posted by Dee74 
By age 40 I was drinking all day everyday - my world had shrunk to my little 2 room apartment, my recliner chair and my TV...my music career was over - too many drunken gigs - my dwindling social circle was exclusively alcoholic, and my only regular outings were to the liquor store and back.
I'd long let go of any pretense of functionality - everybody in my neighbourhood knew I was a drunk - they saw me stumbling, unwashed, dazed, red eyed, struggling to the bottle shop and back , daily.
I began to fall over frequently - and despite being accomplished at falling 'safely', I was often too drunk to manage this - so I hit my head hard more and more often.
On my last day of drinking, I was already drunk when I caught the bus to the store (walking was not really an option in that state). I missed the last step off the bus...I hit my head on the kerb so hard it bounced...
I got up, held a handkerchief to my bleeding brow...and continued straight into the liquor store.
I remember them bandaging me up..and me insisting I was fine and buying booze. I don't remember getting home, or the rest of that day, but I do remember that night when, even more drunk, I woke up and stumbled into the bathroom...I slipped and hit my head - again - on the corner of the bath.
I lay there on the floor, not able to get up for being drunk, and disorientated, and I knew in that instant with absolute certainty that I was going to die if I kept on this way - no perhaps, no what ifs, no maybes through cirrhosis or other alcohol related conditions...
I knew I was going to fall more and more often...and then once too often...and die.
It was my moment of clarity perhaps. Whatever it was, I have never been more sure of anything.
I felt so disorientated and disconnected I thought for several days it might have already been too late.
In a sense it was I guess - I still carry the physical legacy of that last day. I'd suffered some mini strokes. I've never been the same since - in many ways. A permanent reminder of where I was headed.
The next morning...Good Friday 2007. No booze around. I decided to go for it.
I looked around online and I found SR.
D
I'd long let go of any pretense of functionality - everybody in my neighbourhood knew I was a drunk - they saw me stumbling, unwashed, dazed, red eyed, struggling to the bottle shop and back , daily.
I began to fall over frequently - and despite being accomplished at falling 'safely', I was often too drunk to manage this - so I hit my head hard more and more often.
On my last day of drinking, I was already drunk when I caught the bus to the store (walking was not really an option in that state). I missed the last step off the bus...I hit my head on the kerb so hard it bounced...
I got up, held a handkerchief to my bleeding brow...and continued straight into the liquor store.
I remember them bandaging me up..and me insisting I was fine and buying booze. I don't remember getting home, or the rest of that day, but I do remember that night when, even more drunk, I woke up and stumbled into the bathroom...I slipped and hit my head - again - on the corner of the bath.
I lay there on the floor, not able to get up for being drunk, and disorientated, and I knew in that instant with absolute certainty that I was going to die if I kept on this way - no perhaps, no what ifs, no maybes through cirrhosis or other alcohol related conditions...
I knew I was going to fall more and more often...and then once too often...and die.
It was my moment of clarity perhaps. Whatever it was, I have never been more sure of anything.
I felt so disorientated and disconnected I thought for several days it might have already been too late.
In a sense it was I guess - I still carry the physical legacy of that last day. I'd suffered some mini strokes. I've never been the same since - in many ways. A permanent reminder of where I was headed.
The next morning...Good Friday 2007. No booze around. I decided to go for it.
I looked around online and I found SR.
D
s ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2013
Posts: 1,533
Day 1. I'm sorry I didn't say good bye when I chose to go back to the drinking life. I honestly wish I could drink because for the most part it is such a good time. I'm pissed that I can't. I started again Feb. I had around 4 months AF at that time. I was working for a well known AF company part time online. I had it going on. I made a conscious choice to quit that job because I was conflicted that it was a profit driven company, and to try try yet try again to drink in moderation. I did so good at that until I didn't. As most of you ole timers know me, I'm not a daily drinker. However, my pattern is turning into 'drunk' every two weeks. Starts out innocent turns into 'drunk'. Which leads to hangover, depression and regret for a few days. As soon as I feel better I convince myself that it wasn't so bad and then 2 weeks later here we go again. Hence my avatar carousel ride. I guess I have to get off of the Carousel ride now. The most important contributing factor to my choice to drink again, is my son. He is now in college and he is partien now. From what I can see he is way more responsible than I ever was at that age. But it has been kinda fun to share a few experiences with him drinking. I know that sounds bad, but it's the truth. Now here I am wondering if there is where I belong again.
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Thanks for sharing the links to your story Dee. I still say you’re amazing 
And you’ve been a huge help in my sober journey.
I found SR two years ago and if I hadn’t, God only knows where I’d be now. A lot worse off that’s for sure. I may not have fully managed to maintain a sober life for the last two years, but I’ve had way more than half of it sober, and I’m working on trying to maintain sobriety. I would still be drinking daily and not even trying to stop, without the support of you and Suze and all the other wonderful people here on SR.
I’m on day 7 today. And I’m feeling good about nearly having a week sober again (by tonight). Sure it’s only 9am so far, but I’m confident I can make it through today without a drink. One day at a time. Knowing you and everyone here at SR has got my back makes a huge difference to my ability to resist the AV
And you’ve been a huge help in my sober journey.I found SR two years ago and if I hadn’t, God only knows where I’d be now. A lot worse off that’s for sure. I may not have fully managed to maintain a sober life for the last two years, but I’ve had way more than half of it sober, and I’m working on trying to maintain sobriety. I would still be drinking daily and not even trying to stop, without the support of you and Suze and all the other wonderful people here on SR.
I’m on day 7 today. And I’m feeling good about nearly having a week sober again (by tonight). Sure it’s only 9am so far, but I’m confident I can make it through today without a drink. One day at a time. Knowing you and everyone here at SR has got my back makes a huge difference to my ability to resist the AV
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,481
Welcome back Misc72
I hope you don't mind me saying, having known each other for years, that's not really reflected in your posts Misc
The consequences always need to be factored in.
I'm having the time of my life. Honestly.
I'm a busy musician, volunteer, writer....my social life is as busy as I want it to be.
I never had this much of a good time drinking
I honestly wish I could drink because for the most part it is such a good time.
The consequences always need to be factored in.
I'm having the time of my life. Honestly.
I'm a busy musician, volunteer, writer....my social life is as busy as I want it to be.
I never had this much of a good time drinking
Member
Join Date: May 2020
Posts: 31
Originally Posted by pinkbutterfly20
Freedom,
that is a great point. I’m having to really learn this and train my brain that I have a problem and cannot drink like most people. It’s a hard reality to come to grips with for me! Thanks for the tip of writing things down to come back to, I think that would be really helpful!
that is a great point. I’m having to really learn this and train my brain that I have a problem and cannot drink like most people. It’s a hard reality to come to grips with for me! Thanks for the tip of writing things down to come back to, I think that would be really helpful!
I know I feel the same way. What is helping me is something I learned when I quit smoking years ago. I can't compare myself to others. I was able able to drink "normally" in front of others but when I was home alone it became a different story. The other is I have to stop feeling like I am deprived of something others can have. I am trying to turn that around by saying how I am doing so much better by not drinking. I can remember what happened, I am not embarrassed by what I said or did, I wake up feeling great, my face isn't red and bloated.................I think I am going to start a "positive" journal.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 4,813
Originally Posted by Jewel72
Fighting for day one. Not going to any stores today. Will post tonight that I’ve made it back to day one. My body can’t handle this and I’m sick of hating myself.
Good for you. You can do it. Looking forward to reading your post saying you got through today.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,548
Originally Posted by Jewel72
Fighting for day one. Not going to any stores today. Will post tonight that I’ve made it back to day one. My body can’t handle this and I’m sick of hating myself.
s xx ❤️❤️
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,739
Jewel, you can do this! Stay close to SR, do something meaningful and make sure you eat and drink lots of fluids.
Day three here. The weather is really nice and I'm sitting outside writing on my psychological thriller. I'm not going to drink today.
Day three here. The weather is really nice and I'm sitting outside writing on my psychological thriller. I'm not going to drink today.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Washington State
Posts: 591
Good morning everyone. I'm back on day 11. I'm sorry I haven't posted for a bit. I'm still dealing with insomnia but it seems to be getting better. I think I actually slept over 6 hours straight last night - probably for the first time in over a year without any chemicals in my system. I'm sorry to hear the stories of some of you struggling in the first couple of days - I've been there a LOT.
I actually got a new bicycle a few days back and have ridden it every day since. Its reminded me of how much I liked to ride when I was younger and helped keep me in good spirits. I'm also planning to start working on setting up a fresh water aquarium this coming weekend. I think looking forward to start doing these things again that I used to like a lot from my past has been helpful so far.
But I also had a few thoughts this morning about how maybe i can use sometime in the future on vacations and stuff like that, which I know is a sign the using thoughts will start coming more often. So coming back here and reading more stories is a good way to keep reminded that I that's not healthy thinking. I still haven't been to any online meetings yet but its definitely time to push past the social anxiety and start doing that.
Jewel, pinkbutterly, Misc, Lixie, and anyone else in their first couple of days or so or are struggling - I'm really glad you're here and posting. And everyone else too. Let's all get through today together.
I actually got a new bicycle a few days back and have ridden it every day since. Its reminded me of how much I liked to ride when I was younger and helped keep me in good spirits. I'm also planning to start working on setting up a fresh water aquarium this coming weekend. I think looking forward to start doing these things again that I used to like a lot from my past has been helpful so far.
But I also had a few thoughts this morning about how maybe i can use sometime in the future on vacations and stuff like that, which I know is a sign the using thoughts will start coming more often. So coming back here and reading more stories is a good way to keep reminded that I that's not healthy thinking. I still haven't been to any online meetings yet but its definitely time to push past the social anxiety and start doing that.
Jewel, pinkbutterly, Misc, Lixie, and anyone else in their first couple of days or so or are struggling - I'm really glad you're here and posting. And everyone else too.
Let's all get through today together.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 2,850
8 days and then I crashed and burned again. Back before I spend a week drunk. My kids deserve me 100%. Off to the pool with them in a bit. Then back home to make dinner, my daughter and her boyfriend (that annoys us all) is coming over for the evening. I've honestly started drinking the last few times he has been over to dull the experience. So I know I will be tempted later on. But such is life. I WILL get through today sober.
soberfighterwriter
Join Date: Jan 2020
Posts: 1,739
Originally Posted by Al34
Day 1 done - Well that’s me in bed. Very early but i’m shattered and glad to be getting this day done
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Hi everyone 
Well done on day 1 Al! That’s great
Jewel, let us know how you go with day 1, we’re all here with you
Pinkbutterfly and Misc, how did you go with your day 1?
Lixie 3 days is fantastic
Citrus, it’s great to have you back, you can do this
Hewson & Basejumper 2 weeks! Willow2020 18 days, Bobdrop 16 days and Startingover 12 days, way to go guys
Hewson how’s the online personal training going?
Freedom, Puckluck, Redfalcon, Erratic, RAL, Pixie, how are you all going today?
And Listae? Are you Ok?
Robbie I hope you’re over your cold?
Everyone else I haven’t mentioned, I hope you’re all going ok too
I just finished my first week and am on day 8.
Feeling a lot better than I did a week ago, that’s for sure.
Well done on day 1 Al! That’s great
Jewel, let us know how you go with day 1, we’re all here with you
Pinkbutterfly and Misc, how did you go with your day 1?
Lixie 3 days is fantastic
Citrus, it’s great to have you back, you can do this
Hewson & Basejumper 2 weeks! Willow2020 18 days, Bobdrop 16 days and Startingover 12 days, way to go guys
Hewson how’s the online personal training going?
Freedom, Puckluck, Redfalcon, Erratic, RAL, Pixie, how are you all going today?
And Listae? Are you Ok?
Robbie I hope you’re over your cold?
Everyone else I haven’t mentioned, I hope you’re all going ok too
I just finished my first week and am on day 8.
Feeling a lot better than I did a week ago, that’s for sure.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2018
Posts: 1,055
Fail again. I can’t seem to work through this and stop the madness. I’ve got real life support and work a recovery program. Like Less says; no one is coming to save me. I keep trying to
read the right books, see the right counselors, attend the right support group, and I continue to fail. I guess it’s just too hard sometimes. I’ll be back soon....I hope and pray.
read the right books, see the right counselors, attend the right support group, and I continue to fail. I guess it’s just too hard sometimes. I’ll be back soon....I hope and pray.
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