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Class of June Support Thread 2020 Part 1

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Old 06-17-2020, 09:08 PM
  # 421 (permalink)  
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I guess it’s just too hard sometimes
I think that's something that our addiction tells us and wants us to believe.
Its always hard - but its never too hard.

I think the longer we stay 'out' the harder it is come back in.

You know how to be sober Jewel - now you need to focus on how to stay that way, You've left the surface of Plannet Addiction several times- now you need to find whatever it is to help you break the gravitional p[ull and be free forever.

Don't put that off too long - every day is too precious to be wasted

D
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Old 06-17-2020, 09:35 PM
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Day 10. Double digits again. Yesterday there was some AV but wasn't so bad. I'm on antabuse so I know I'll get very sick if I have even two drinks. But my AV still says "what about just one?"

I'm trying to keep busy, I think that helps the most. I'm unemployed unfortunately so it's hard. I'm taking a few online courses to get me back into the swing of study before college in September. I find when I'm busy the AV is quietest.

Made it to an AA meeting and been reading from the big book and SR so that helped. Going to hit a meeting later this morning. Trying to use my SMART tools too though most of the meetings are a bit close to bedtime for me.
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Old 06-17-2020, 09:41 PM
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Good job FF!
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Old 06-17-2020, 09:44 PM
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Originally Posted by freedomfries View Post
Day 10. Double digits again. Yesterday there was some AV but wasn't so bad. I'm on antabuse so I know I'll get very sick if I have even two drinks. But my AV still says "what about just one?"
.
I think you've been taking it long enough now that any alcohol will make you sick FF, so keep on dismissing that lame AV argument.
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Old 06-17-2020, 10:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think you've been taking it long enough now that any alcohol will make you sick FF, so keep on dismissing that lame AV argument.
You're right. And I should just accept that truth and not experiment. The AV is pretty fleeting anyway.
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Old 06-17-2020, 11:41 PM
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Congrats on double digits Freedom

Sorry to read that Jewel. You can do this though, you've done it before and can do it again. Maybe consider posting on SR when thoughts of drinking arise-someone will talk you out of it I've been where you are many many times and even now have thoughts of drinking but I was to be sober more than I want to drink and I keep telling myself that every day, every minute of every day sometimes. Hope to see you back today

Congrats on getting into week 2 Willow68

Hope you are ok Citrus and start afresh today too. Congrats to everyone on sober time whether day 1 or 101
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Old 06-17-2020, 11:51 PM
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Sorry I missed your post Citrus Ive had a busy couple of days - I believe you can get this together too - just like Jewel and everyone else here. I really believe we all have the capacity to change and lead happy sober lives.

D
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Old 06-18-2020, 01:55 AM
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Fighting for 24! I cannot seem to deal with my anxiety...everytime the booze wears off my heart rate races and I sweat and panic about my symptoms and reach for another drink to quiet them down. I want this so badly...fighting. Still here, may need to stay close today and really really fight for each hour. Thank you all for continuing to check in on my and support me. I am so inspired by so many of you and amazed at the support here.
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:00 AM
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I know its tough but the anxiety and panic will die down PB.

Every time you drink to deal with it, you're ramping those anxiety and panic levels back up and reinforcing the 'need' for more drinking.

A few days discomfort is worth it. If your anxiety is really debilitating maybe you need to see your Dr?

D
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:03 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I know its tough but the anxiety and panic will die down PB.

Every time you drink to deal with it, you're ramping those anxiety and panic levels back up and reinforcing the 'need' for more drinking.

A few days discomfort is worth it. If your anxiety is really debilitating maybe you need to see your Dr?

D
Thanks D,

it’s not so much debilitating as I feel like it is, it’s such a mental thing for me. I’m naturally a pretty anxious person when I don’t drink but then the alcohol makes it so much worse I know. A few days discomfort would be worth the pay off I just struggle so much for the first day. I have an appt Monday with my dr and plan to really be honest about all this with her then!
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:09 AM
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Jewel,Citrus, Misc72:
Is there a big hurt, anger, shame, secret, or fear that you carry?
I ask because some who are experienced in recovery (AA collective experience) state that the one big thing, if we are not willing to share, can lead us back to the bottle time and time again.

Certainly, do not share here. A trusted, recovery informed person, who is made aware of your intent in sharing would be the way to go.

I say this because I’ve experienced it, and I care.

Best to you.


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Old 06-18-2020, 02:38 AM
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Certainly, donot share here. A trusted, recovery informed person, who is made aware of your intent in sharing would be the way to go.
Not sure I follow you TC

D
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:57 AM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Not sure I follow you TC

D
Me neither. This place might be just as good as any other to share in?
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:59 AM
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I'm on day 4 and everything is well. Have a deadline at midnight and have to rewrite at least two scenes, so I'm a bit stressed. The good thing is that I'm not going to drink today.
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Old 06-18-2020, 03:01 AM
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Hi Jewel. You said that you've read a lot of books, so you've probably already read the one that has impacted me, but I have to mention it anyway. This Naked Mind has really altered my thinking, and I really never read much. I know getting started is tough. I have my own things that are tough, but I'm working on them and you can too.
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Old 06-18-2020, 04:35 AM
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I guess it’s just too hard sometimes

Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
I think that's something that our addiction tells us and wants us to believe.
Its always hard - but its never too hard.

I think the longer we stay 'out' the harder it is come back in.

You know how to be sober Jewel - now you need to focus on how to stay that way, You've left the surface of Plannet Addiction several times- now you need to find whatever it is to help you break the gravitional p[ull and be free forever.

Don't put that off too long - every day is too precious to be wasted

D
I love this post. ❤️
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Old 06-18-2020, 06:03 AM
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Thank you all for your replies. It means a lot. You’re right, D. I’ve done this before. I will get back in the light.

hi Bobdrop, good to see you here! I have read that book, but I should reread. I’ve also read Rational Recovery, Kick the Drink Easily, and many others. They’ve all helped, but I’ve got to reread and get my brain thinking correctly again.

Citrus, I’m glad you’re back here too. I often think of you and wonder how you’re doing.

freedomfries, you’re doing this! Keep telling that voice to shove it. Are you running again? I’m not right now because I’m too unhealthy. Yuck. Don’t go back. It’s gross.

love to all of you and well done.
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Old 06-18-2020, 07:06 AM
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Originally Posted by Jewel72 View Post
freedomfries, you’re doing this! Keep telling that voice to shove it. Are you running again? I’m not right now because I’m too unhealthy. Yuck. Don’t go back. It’s gross.
.
Yeah, was off for a few thinks because of alcohol. But started back c25k last Saturday, completed week 1 yesterday morning. It's great for the endorphins.
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Old 06-18-2020, 02:56 PM
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I loved reading “this naked mind”. I might reread it too, I found it very useful.
I’m on day 9 today. Coffee and off to work. I’m going to stock up on N/A drinks and some sweet snacks on my way home. Friday afternoon and the weekend are my danger zone and the AV tends to ramp up its attack over the weekend. Last weekend it was really difficult to stay sober. So I really need to be prepared with alternatives to alcohol. And keep busy.
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Old 06-18-2020, 08:49 PM
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Good morning. Day 12. AV is pretty quiet. But I'm not worried if it picks up. I have some solid defences against the first drink now.

Going to hit a meeting later this morning. Might try 90 meetings in 90 days.
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