Class of March 2020 Part 5
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Our weather must have headed your way.....sorry about that.
It is indeed sunny here, but we went from 70s to 90s in like 5 minutes. Sigh.
I am looking forward to living elsewhere in the future....maybe Charleston....I would love that.
It is indeed sunny here, but we went from 70s to 90s in like 5 minutes. Sigh.
I am looking forward to living elsewhere in the future....maybe Charleston....I would love that.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 533
Originally Posted by Tinkerbeau 
Ha ha Be, was it a good hug ? I'm going for a walk now might give it a try, my little boy will defo think I'm an embarrassing mam !!
Ive made day 70 today, 10 whole weeks, pleased I've stuck it out as only just beginning to feel real changes.
Ive made day 70 today, 10 whole weeks, pleased I've stuck it out as only just beginning to feel real changes.
Love Billy x
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Weather is looking up for the week here...it's half term and bank holiday this week (not that it makes much difference) and I'm borrowing a tent and a projector and intend on camping out a fair bit, in the garden, with the kids.
Maybe time for a Be123 relationship update? Why not, as it's on my mind.
I feel pretty relaxed about where we are at. My anxiety has almost gone, sometimes it'll resurface, but that's when something is happening that warrants it. I've got a plan for if/when we separate and I feel like there are some positives in that situation...but I'd still much rather it didn't happen.
My wife is adamant that the only solution is permanent separation, but she says things that really confuse me. So...I'm applying for the job away from home, and I said to her, 'That'll be six months of space, when I come back we'll have to see where we are at'. Her response: 'It seems an extreme way to give me space. We could manage that at home, being careful to give each other space on the evenings etc.'
What the hell am I meant to make of that? Genuinely no idea...it's seems so odd. I am almost at the point of giving up trying to guess, just letting her be and trying to move forward myself. But that is tricky as the number of 'unknown Unknown's' is hard to work with.
Oh well, I guess if I can feel secure in the midst of all this not-knowing then the future should be a breeze!
Maybe time for a Be123 relationship update? Why not, as it's on my mind.
I feel pretty relaxed about where we are at. My anxiety has almost gone, sometimes it'll resurface, but that's when something is happening that warrants it. I've got a plan for if/when we separate and I feel like there are some positives in that situation...but I'd still much rather it didn't happen.
My wife is adamant that the only solution is permanent separation, but she says things that really confuse me. So...I'm applying for the job away from home, and I said to her, 'That'll be six months of space, when I come back we'll have to see where we are at'. Her response: 'It seems an extreme way to give me space. We could manage that at home, being careful to give each other space on the evenings etc.'
What the hell am I meant to make of that? Genuinely no idea...it's seems so odd. I am almost at the point of giving up trying to guess, just letting her be and trying to move forward myself. But that is tricky as the number of 'unknown Unknown's' is hard to work with.
Oh well, I guess if I can feel secure in the midst of all this not-knowing then the future should be a breeze!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Can you not ask her what she means Be?
It could be that she is letting you know you don't need to take the distance job unless you really want to, or it could be that she is thinking she will have the kids full-time by herself.
I would ask.
Hi Billy.
s
It could be that she is letting you know you don't need to take the distance job unless you really want to, or it could be that she is thinking she will have the kids full-time by herself.
I would ask.
Hi Billy.
s
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Hi Venus - I will ask, but I'm giving her loads of space so it won't be til later in the week.
The alternative to me being away from home was formally separating. I'm in effect delaying it by six months...so that's why her comments don't make sense.
Hey ho, whatever happens it is unlikely to be immediate so more time to build on my sobriety. The first day I'm on my own I may turn up on your doorstep Venus...I'd need a serious plan for sobriety at that point!! But it's way off so I'm not thinking about it
The alternative to me being away from home was formally separating. I'm in effect delaying it by six months...so that's why her comments don't make sense.
Hey ho, whatever happens it is unlikely to be immediate so more time to build on my sobriety. The first day I'm on my own I may turn up on your doorstep Venus...I'd need a serious plan for sobriety at that point!! But it's way off so I'm not thinking about it
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
BE, I needed a better plan for sobriety when we separated but I didn’t know about SR back then. You are light years of where I was. I was pretty much a recluse who drank and watched sports when I wasn’t working. I did sober up for a while when we got back together. My sobriety has been a roller coaster up until this last quit. Maybe I am more mature now but it feels different. It sounds like you are in a better place this time around as well. We will all be here for you .
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Thanks everyone
Be i think your doing great and just need to keep doing what your doing. Obviously it's hard to guess but i think your wife sounds like she is conflicted and confused too and possibly she didn't expect you to change and work on yourself as much as you have, but maybe she is scared to let her guard down ?? As you say you can only really give time and space and keep focused on the amazing changes you've made.
Be i think your doing great and just need to keep doing what your doing. Obviously it's hard to guess but i think your wife sounds like she is conflicted and confused too and possibly she didn't expect you to change and work on yourself as much as you have, but maybe she is scared to let her guard down ?? As you say you can only really give time and space and keep focused on the amazing changes you've made.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Exciting evening here tonight, we had tornado warnings that are just expiring. Apparently the clouds capable of producing a tornado went right through here. It was really windy, rainy, with a lot of thunder and lightning. This is the time of year you put up with this when living down here.
Today was 12 weeks for me. Not doing much for Memorial Day even though a lot of Americans have been gathering in large crowds on beaches and lakes. I don’t feel that we are quite ready to get back to normal as of yet, but apparently others think it is okay.
Today was 12 weeks for me. Not doing much for Memorial Day even though a lot of Americans have been gathering in large crowds on beaches and lakes. I don’t feel that we are quite ready to get back to normal as of yet, but apparently others think it is okay.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 533
Originally Posted by Be123
Weather is looking up for the week here...it's half term and bank holiday this week (not that it makes much difference) and I'm borrowing a tent and a projector and intend on camping out a fair bit, in the garden, with the kids.
Maybe time for a Be123 relationship update? Why not, as it's on my mind.
I feel pretty relaxed about where we are at. My anxiety has almost gone, sometimes it'll resurface, but that's when something is happening that warrants it. I've got a plan for if/when we separate and I feel like there are some positives in that situation...but I'd still much rather it didn't happen.
My wife is adamant that the only solution is permanent separation, but she says things that really confuse me. So...I'm applying for the job away from home, and I said to her, 'That'll be six months of space, when I come back we'll have to see where we are at'. Her response: 'It seems an extreme way to give me space. We could manage that at home, being careful to give each other space on the evenings etc.'
What the hell am I meant to make of that? Genuinely no idea...it's seems so odd. I am almost at the point of giving up trying to guess, just letting her be and trying to move forward myself. But that is tricky as the number of 'unknown Unknown's' is hard to work with.
Oh well, I guess if I can feel secure in the midst of all this not-knowing then the future should be a breeze!
Maybe time for a Be123 relationship update? Why not, as it's on my mind.
I feel pretty relaxed about where we are at. My anxiety has almost gone, sometimes it'll resurface, but that's when something is happening that warrants it. I've got a plan for if/when we separate and I feel like there are some positives in that situation...but I'd still much rather it didn't happen.
My wife is adamant that the only solution is permanent separation, but she says things that really confuse me. So...I'm applying for the job away from home, and I said to her, 'That'll be six months of space, when I come back we'll have to see where we are at'. Her response: 'It seems an extreme way to give me space. We could manage that at home, being careful to give each other space on the evenings etc.'
What the hell am I meant to make of that? Genuinely no idea...it's seems so odd. I am almost at the point of giving up trying to guess, just letting her be and trying to move forward myself. But that is tricky as the number of 'unknown Unknown's' is hard to work with.
Oh well, I guess if I can feel secure in the midst of all this not-knowing then the future should be a breeze!
As Dee said - Ask
Love Billy x
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 533
Originally Posted by Bilr44
Exciting evening here tonight, we had tornado warnings that are just expiring. Apparently the clouds capable of producing a tornado went right through here. It was really windy, rainy, with a lot of thunder and lightning. This is the time of year you put up with this when living down here.
Today was 12 weeks for me. Not doing much for Memorial Day even though a lot of Americans have been gathering in large crowds on beaches and lakes. I don’t feel that we are quite ready to get back to normal as of yet, but apparently others think it is okay.
Today was 12 weeks for me. Not doing much for Memorial Day even though a lot of Americans have been gathering in large crowds on beaches and lakes. I don’t feel that we are quite ready to get back to normal as of yet, but apparently others think it is okay.
Hey to everyone else, hope you are having a happy, fulfilled and sober Monday
Much love
Billy x
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Morning everyone.
Congratulations on 12 weeks bilr thats great.
I'm same billy as quite near coast but still staying away, look too busy on pictures I've seen in press, just enjoying local walks. Its been nice to discover all the walks just where i live, previously i also drove somewhere to go for walk/day out.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Congratulations on 12 weeks bilr thats great.
I'm same billy as quite near coast but still staying away, look too busy on pictures I've seen in press, just enjoying local walks. Its been nice to discover all the walks just where i live, previously i also drove somewhere to go for walk/day out.
Hope everyone has a good day.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
Good morning/midday everybody. Woke up to thunderstorms and it looks like the sun will be a afterthought today. We are new to our town so no family and only a couple of friends. So, no picnic to go to today which suits me fine. It’s funny, I never liked drinking during the day so usually stuck to water or soda at picnics. I always made up for it and more at night though. BE, I agree to let your wife have space and ask her later.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 2,279
Morning all.
I seem to have regressed with my sobriety...I had the night sweats last night, back of my neck where I always used to get them when drinking. Also thinking about drinking in the future, and two nights in a row having drinking dreams.
Its not affecting me being sober at all, but I'm interested as to why me brain seems to be suddenly processing the lack of alcohol. Maybe that's a good thing, it needs to process it...it just seems a bit later than everyone else who is moving the opposite direction?
I seem to have regressed with my sobriety...I had the night sweats last night, back of my neck where I always used to get them when drinking. Also thinking about drinking in the future, and two nights in a row having drinking dreams.
Its not affecting me being sober at all, but I'm interested as to why me brain seems to be suddenly processing the lack of alcohol. Maybe that's a good thing, it needs to process it...it just seems a bit later than everyone else who is moving the opposite direction?
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,329
BE, I wouldn’t view this as a set back with your sobriety. I view our journey having peaks and valleys. I had a dream where I drank a beer (and it was warm and did not taste very good), and then told someone that I am sober and don’t drink. It could be your sweats will be there some of the time, drinking or not. I took wake up in the middle of the night with my shirt soaked. I run the ceiling fan at night to help with that, lol. The bottom line is your not currently drinking which is a good thing.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2020
Location: Poole, Dorset
Posts: 533
I'm with Bilr on this, I wouldn't worry about the night sweats either, plus I think you're in UK? Am I wrong? It is unusually warm at present so you could be just hot because of that? Some nights are muggier than others.
Also the dreams, I know they can feel worrying but dreaming about something is better than doing it I guess, I don't think it means you're regressing, more processing than anything else which seems pretty healthy to me
Billy x
Also the dreams, I know they can feel worrying but dreaming about something is better than doing it I guess, I don't think it means you're regressing, more processing than anything else which seems pretty healthy to me
Billy x
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