Class of July 2019 Part 5
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
Of course you are allowed to decide dear Charon. 
s
And the PM you sent me worked.....it is just that the techs are working on some bugs that are proving testy love. That's all....the upgrade isn't completed yet. s
I so hope you won't let this frustrate you into leaving. I am here. Dee is here. We are not going anywhere and the site really will be all fixed asap. s
s And the PM you sent me worked.....it is just that the techs are working on some bugs that are proving testy love. That's all....the upgrade isn't completed yet.
sI so hope you won't let this frustrate you into leaving. I am here. Dee is here. We are not going anywhere and the site really will be all fixed asap.
s
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Morning.
Only forty and very windy outside. Will not be working outside today. Definite chill inside. Fine with me. I think I'll start removing all the stuff that's being stored in my bedroom that is not mine so I can reclaim space and turn it into a pleasant place where I can spend time. I imagine that's going to involve some angry demanding protests, but guess what - she has her bedroom, my daughter's old bedroom, and another bedroom she uses as an office for her stuff. I only have my bedroom and a corner in one room for my computer. Fair and equal - yeah right?
Only forty and very windy outside. Will not be working outside today. Definite chill inside. Fine with me. I think I'll start removing all the stuff that's being stored in my bedroom that is not mine so I can reclaim space and turn it into a pleasant place where I can spend time. I imagine that's going to involve some angry demanding protests, but guess what - she has her bedroom, my daughter's old bedroom, and another bedroom she uses as an office for her stuff. I only have my bedroom and a corner in one room for my computer. Fair and equal - yeah right?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,443
Originally Posted by Charon 
I believe that after
trying for over 40 years to make this work and putting up with a
narcissistic control freak I should be allowed to decide that the
camels back is broken. I'm fairly intelligent with a masters degree
in biology and a very successful carrer in computer analysis and
programming. I'm not stupid - though one might wonder, considering
that I stuck with this so long.
trying for over 40 years to make this work and putting up with a
narcissistic control freak I should be allowed to decide that the
camels back is broken. I'm fairly intelligent with a masters degree
in biology and a very successful carrer in computer analysis and
programming. I'm not stupid - though one might wonder, considering
that I stuck with this so long.
It is your life and your marriage and you're allowed to do whatever you like with both.
I offer that advice here a lot because a lot of sober people want to change everything in the first year, they raze everything to the ground, and some regret that later.
Others, I'm sure, never look back.
You seem sure in your resolve.
I'm sorry if you felt my advice was an intrusion or unwelcome.
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I feel bad thanking that post....because I am sure you were not at all an intrusion or anything like that dear Dee.....and you never ever are. My thank you is because you are sensitive and kind. s xx
s xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
I posted this in the SMART 5 positive things morning check in. I thought I'd repost it here so you would see where I am at.
1. I decided that I won't move out and leave this place I spent so much time,
energy, and care on.
2. Worked all day yesterday to make my bedroom my new
abode of peace and solitude. I'll finish up making it livable today.
3. Today
I'm going to buy a flatscreen so I can watch Netflix there.
4. I decided
that I will accept all blame for the situation I am now in. I knew better, I
kept trying to make it work in the face of massive evidence that it never would.
Reality defeats wishes.
5. I also decided that it is not in my nature to be
uncivil, but I really must keep in mind that it's not anything more than sharing
a house.
Today I am recovering from a stupid lapse. A strong reminder why I can't drink anymore. It's not fun and it makes me sick.
1. I decided that I won't move out and leave this place I spent so much time,
energy, and care on.
2. Worked all day yesterday to make my bedroom my new
abode of peace and solitude. I'll finish up making it livable today.
3. Today
I'm going to buy a flatscreen so I can watch Netflix there.
4. I decided
that I will accept all blame for the situation I am now in. I knew better, I
kept trying to make it work in the face of massive evidence that it never would.
Reality defeats wishes.
5. I also decided that it is not in my nature to be
uncivil, but I really must keep in mind that it's not anything more than sharing
a house.
Today I am recovering from a stupid lapse. A strong reminder why I can't drink anymore. It's not fun and it makes me sick.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
(((Charon))) s xxx
I am so sorry that the home stress is just so very hard.
I am sorry it led you to drink ~ but glad it was just one night.
It isn't worth it huh? It does not solve anything. s
Very happy to hear you got your space all ready for you and yay to the flat screen!!!
I blame myself for a lot of things.....and I hear you re taking responsibility. But that doesn't mean we can't forgive ourselves. s xx
s xxxI am so sorry that the home stress is just so very hard.
I am sorry it led you to drink ~ but glad it was just one night.
It isn't worth it huh? It does not solve anything.
sVery happy to hear you got your space all ready for you and yay to the flat screen!!!
I blame myself for a lot of things.....and I hear you re taking responsibility. But that doesn't mean we can't forgive ourselves.
s xx
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Yep. Spot on, Venus. Totally not worth it. I overreacted and that's always a bad idea for me, and you are right - it never solves anything.
My space is very nice now and the flatscreen arrives tomorrow. I won't have cable in that room but I will have all sorts of streaming stuff including Netflix. I also have a bunch of unread books and the internet by wi-fi on a netbook (slow but still useable).
My space is very nice now and the flatscreen arrives tomorrow. I won't have cable in that room but I will have all sorts of streaming stuff including Netflix. I also have a bunch of unread books and the internet by wi-fi on a netbook (slow but still useable).
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 1,928
Morning. Drinking strong dark coffee instead of Islay scotch. Very good tasting and much better for me.
I
guess it's not so much that the wi-fi is slow, just slower than on my
desktop which is hardwired ethernet. And that machine itself is much
faster than the netbook. So I'm spoiled. I don't really mind the
slowness. Once a program loads it functions fairly well.
Yes,
I am excited. The flatscreen arrives today. First I'm going to mow all
of the front yards. It's sunny and not too windy so it will be good to
get outside. I should also move the hot peppers to larger pots.
After
a great deal of thought I've decided that I will not get a dog. I get
entirely attached and when the guniea pig I inherited from my
daughter(E) died I was crushed. It was years before I could go up to my
bedroom without expecting to hear her squeaks.
One
of my son's dogs has lymphoma. They should get the results of lab
tests today. Loosing ****, even though she's not my dog and only stayed
here occasionally, is hurting. I would bond with a dog of my own too
strongly and if they passed it would be too hard.
I
got two chunks of mesquite from a guy out in Colorado. I sent him seven
black walnut bowl blanks of various sizes in trade. I split the smaller
chunk into a piece to turn and resawed the rest into flats for boxes.
Here's what they look like dry avter just being cut and then after being
misted with water to get an idea what they would look like after an oil
finish.
https://i.imgur.com/wtwqLzu.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/toFOgR8.jpg
I
guess it's not so much that the wi-fi is slow, just slower than on my
desktop which is hardwired ethernet. And that machine itself is much
faster than the netbook. So I'm spoiled. I don't really mind the
slowness. Once a program loads it functions fairly well.
Yes,
I am excited. The flatscreen arrives today. First I'm going to mow all
of the front yards. It's sunny and not too windy so it will be good to
get outside. I should also move the hot peppers to larger pots.
After
a great deal of thought I've decided that I will not get a dog. I get
entirely attached and when the guniea pig I inherited from my
daughter(E) died I was crushed. It was years before I could go up to my
bedroom without expecting to hear her squeaks.
One
of my son's dogs has lymphoma. They should get the results of lab
tests today. Loosing ****, even though she's not my dog and only stayed
here occasionally, is hurting. I would bond with a dog of my own too
strongly and if they passed it would be too hard.
I
got two chunks of mesquite from a guy out in Colorado. I sent him seven
black walnut bowl blanks of various sizes in trade. I split the smaller
chunk into a piece to turn and resawed the rest into flats for boxes.
Here's what they look like dry avter just being cut and then after being
misted with water to get an idea what they would look like after an oil
finish.
https://i.imgur.com/wtwqLzu.jpg
https://i.imgur.com/toFOgR8.jpg
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,509
I need to stop for now. I am re-applying for school, online only though, and there is just so much involved. As an Aussie I have to carefully pick schools who don't require a GRE, but I do have college transcripts. Except most schools won't allow you to send them yourself, and my university in Aus only sells transcripts to the student. So boy, lots of emailing and talking and stuff. And then deciding if the school I find is truly accredited or not....very convoluted.
I understand about the dog, and I am so sorry about your son's dog.
That is heartbreaking.
For me, adopting another animal helps to heal me. I cannot wait until I can have a cat again.
Off to look at your pics and make lunch for husband. xxxxxxx
I understand about the dog, and I am so sorry about your son's dog.
That is heartbreaking.
For me, adopting another animal helps to heal me. I cannot wait until I can have a cat again.
Off to look at your pics and make lunch for husband. xxxxxxx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 652
Sorry that I have not been around this week Charon et al. I have been bogged down in work plus helping my dad and his wife apply for various financial help with both this pandemic and his health. Everything has to be done online these days, they are way out of their depth. I am also feeling flat and uncommunicative. It is a red flag I know. So perhaps I need to do like you Charon and assess where I am at, make an action plan and focus on positives. I really have a very good life so it shouldn't be difficult.
I am sorry to learn that you have been having a difficult week Charon. Very frustrating about the dog although you are right about it being crushing when they go. I cried for months when my last dog died. My current dog came hard on the heels of that grief and as a consequence, she is a totally spoilt brat. Your strong dark coffee does sound good. I can almost smell it. I can't smell the scotch. I am wondering if your new flatscreen has arrived yet. They are so good these days. I never cease to amaze at the technology. We truly have lived through a time of wonder. It will be nice to have your own space too. Funnily enough, I have been thinking just the same this week. I have quite made my mind up that when this is over I am going to convert the loft so I can move much of my work stuff up there which will free me a room in the house to claim as my own little snug. Total ownership of the remote control sounds good!
Good luck with your college application Venuscat. Doing anything these days does seem very involved. Lots of processes, complicated applications and information. What a great way to be spending your time though, working on your future. Very cool.
My love to you all. xx
I am sorry to learn that you have been having a difficult week Charon. Very frustrating about the dog although you are right about it being crushing when they go. I cried for months when my last dog died. My current dog came hard on the heels of that grief and as a consequence, she is a totally spoilt brat. Your strong dark coffee does sound good. I can almost smell it. I can't smell the scotch. I am wondering if your new flatscreen has arrived yet. They are so good these days. I never cease to amaze at the technology. We truly have lived through a time of wonder. It will be nice to have your own space too. Funnily enough, I have been thinking just the same this week. I have quite made my mind up that when this is over I am going to convert the loft so I can move much of my work stuff up there which will free me a room in the house to claim as my own little snug. Total ownership of the remote control sounds good!
Good luck with your college application Venuscat. Doing anything these days does seem very involved. Lots of processes, complicated applications and information. What a great way to be spending your time though, working on your future. Very cool.
My love to you all. xx
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