Lucinda2

Thanks, Venuscat. I am not too bad. I like working, and it is good to be able to help my Dad with something. I have felt a bit powerless with not being able to be there while he has been in and out of the hospital. So I am glad to be able to do something concrete to support them. I am just a bit flat and I think that some kind of generalised of anxiety will be getting to most folks right now. In waves, I think. Very aware of my privilege through all of this though.

Venuscat, thank you for your seemingly unstoppable energy in giving to others. You are a legend! I appreciate you very much. x

venuscat

s xxxxx

Charon

Morning.

Sorry, I've been absent a few days. Might as well confess. Mrs was away for several days and I lapest for a couple. I'm mostly recovered - still a bit weak - but determined to get some things done today.

I was surprised by my flatscreen. I plugged it in and it led me through setup flawlessly. All I had to do was select my network and enter the password. It not only connected to all kinds of streaming, including Netflix. It also connected to cable. I didn't expect that.

Yes, a very stressful time. I'm finding, even though I didn't really spend much time in public over the last 14 years, I miss the small, short encounters.I miss being able to see and hug my kids terribly. I'm finding phone appointments with my therapist lacking. On one hand, at my age and not being in tip top shape getting CV-19 scares the heck out of me. On the other, I know I can't live this way forever.

venuscat

(((Charon))) ❤

So much stress and completely understandable fear has a way of breaking us....I certainly know that personally. s

I am just really glad that this was just a few days, and you are now back in soberland.
Plus I really missed your posts.
I need to see more orchids and beautiful carved wooden boxes and all of the wonderful things you bring.

Super-happy that the flat screen is so awesome.
And yes.....TVs now are fantastic is you choose well.
Which you obviously did.

Sending lots of love and healing your way.
Onward together my friend. s ❤❤

Charon

Morning.

I repotted my hot peppers yesterday and they are looking good! I also did some outside tasks that had been waiting for me to get a round tuit. We have a problem with an extremely invasive vine (bittersweet). Three bushes out front had them growing up inside the bush. I cleand those out and put the vines into a large can to die and dry out. Then I'll burn them. Most things I pull up I can just throw on the brush pile. Any part of this stuff that's still alive can root and re-grow.

I also harvested some fern root to re-pot a tiny orchid seedling that I was given. It's a very long way from being big enough to flower and I wouldn't normally invest any time in it but it is a cornerstone of miniature cattleya breeding. Quite honestly, I'm not convinced I can keep it alive, but I'll give it a try.

Had another spell of virtago last night. No matter how slowly I rolled over, I felt it. Started the exercise this morning to get rid of it and I feel a lot better. My allergies have been very bad the last few days, to the point where I even have a bit of pain in my ears.Getting old is no place for sissies.

venuscat

And allergies are no fun at any age. I have many. s

I used to have one of those....they were all the rage when I was about 16 odd

I like this one

Lucinda2

I seem to be all out of words at the moment, overtired from working I think, but just popping in to say I am thinking of you all and sending my love. Charon glad you came back. Wouldnt be the same around here without you.

venuscat

Hello dear Lucinda. Just love back and hoping you have a wonderful rejuvenating sleep. s ❤️

Charon

Morning.

Very short checkin today. Lots of chores. Helping Mrs with the ECOS (Ecological Clearinghouse) mailing. Then lots of mowing. Great day for it. Sunny and hot.

Well, better get to it, even without a round one. LOL

venuscat

Jealous dear Charon....pouring here and very grey.

Did you need someone to ring the bell for you?

❤️

Dee74

I;m glad you made it back Charon.
What do you think it is about your wife being away that makes it ok (or a less loaded word) possible for you to drink?

D

Charon

Dee, I don't think it's more OK or more possible. It's my choice and I've learned to own it. I just don't think it's kind to rub her nose in it.

Dee74

I get that - but shouldn't it be just as reprehensible for you to do that to yourself?

D

Charon

I'm 73 - an adult. My choice, I own it. I'm not saying it's a good choice and I certainly know & accept what I'll feel like the next day or longer - depending on how restrained I am. I've gotten pretty good about saying "OK - that is enough". I certainly didn't used to be. Enough was when the bottle was empty. Not any more. That is simply too painful. I no longer feel that I have to punish myself - so I don't. Sometimes, though, I feel a need to zone out, take a break from thinking, get away from the emptiness.

My next task, supported by my excellant therapist, is to care for myself. In my whole life I've only truely bonded with two people. After 45+ years, I have to accept that isn't going to happen in my current situation. My therapist is encouraging me to get a dog and I agree. I've bonded with, far and away, more animals than people. Time to start looking for a furry buddy and get me some unconditional acceptance and love. A little warm and furry pal to cuddle with and give belly rubs to.

venuscat

So how are you going to get Mrs Charon to change her mind about the dog?

My mum said NO to another dog (we always had a dog) after Panda the Border collie died. She said enough.
So I worked on her.....it took me two years but eventually she said yes and dad got....wait for it and be ready to laugh....Andy the border collie.
He just couldn't think of anther name he liked....and he called that dog Andy Pands every single day.

My mum fell so in love with that dog.....it was amazing to see her become a true dog lover in her 70s. s ❤️

Charon

I will solicite Mrs.input but she has no veto power. I will discuss potential dogs/puppies with her to see if I might be overlooking something. Otherwise, it's entirely my decision. I do not interfere with her choices or activities. I'll not allow her to interfere with mine.

venuscat

What kind of dog do you want?

(I am so excited for you!!!! ) ❤️

Charon

Looking a number of possible breeds. I'd really rather a rescue dog but the application process is really onerous. It seems like the agencies think everyone is a probable abuser and there are so many requirements. Some are completely unreasonable. For example, The entire yard must be completely fenced. Uh, my property is about 5 acres, and any dog that lives with me will never be outside unaccompanied - on a leash till I can be completely sure thay they obey come, stop, no, sit commands without question or hesitation. So - no, I don't need any fence, let alone one around the entire yard.

Another difficulty with a rescue dog is that small, desirable dogs are spoken for almost before they get to the shelter. Dogs that are actually available are les desirable breeds or mixes. I'm still researching breeds and breeders. I'll post my progress as it happens. I am finding out that there are a lot of scams on-line. I guess I'm naive.

venuscat

Yeah, it's just terrible. (the scams)

We (my sisters and dad) got our last family border collie from a very good breeder.
Dad wanted a border collie and that was all he wanted, so we made sure they were good people and bought Andy.

As long as they are good reputable breeders (as you have already mentioned) I think that is a fine choice.
Just don't tell them if you are planning to have the dog desexed (spade/nuetered).....our breeder was angry with us for doing that.

Those rules by the rescue shelters are ridiculous.....I am surprised they are like that. s ❤️

Charon

Not much today. Remembering all the people wo served, are serving, those on the front line of CV-19, and those lost to CV-19. To drink today would disrespect them and their sacrifice. Can't imagine doing that.