freedomfries

Good morning on day 4!

Monday is danger day

I get paid today and I've been broke since my last bender
Going to keep posting on SR and not buy any alcohol or cigarettes

Dee74

I believe you can break the cycle FF.

D

Billymacintosh

You can do it FF, what else could you do instead? ❤️

freedomfries

Thanks Dee

ReadyAtLast

Morning all,,
monday morning here again. Hope you got through the day ok Willow and your anxiety has eased.

FF-you can make new habits and Monday is a fresh start

Had a good weekend and got much done. Think there is a lot of anxiety around at the moment. Ireland has shut all its bars and clubs, shows how serious this thing is. I don't know why the UK is so slow. JR Ral had a dry cough last night. I lay with him till he fell asleep and luckily he has stayed asleep through the night. Sure it is just a cold but everything seems so enhanced like we are all on a state of high alert. On one hand I want a drink 'to relax' but on the other I know the best thing to do is stay sober and alert and focused and healthy.

Off to work soon so will check in later. Take care all.
RAL,x

Tinkerbeau

Day 1 again

So annoyed at myself for messing up and having to go through those horrible first few days again. This is the last time though i give up, i will never drink again.

freedomfries

This too shall pass TB. You just need to hang on for a few days and you'll feel better

Tinkerbeau

Thanks freedom im just so stupid, everytime i get to around 3 weeks, start to feel good i do it to myself again. No pleasure in it just lying on sofa feeling sorry for myself. Ive gone and sent my ex a stupid sorry card in a attempt to reach out. He wont speak to me !! So unless by some miracle it gets lost in post ove humiliated myself again

Wastinglife

I do the same cringeworthy things Tinkerbeau. I will Facebook an ex from like 15 years ago. Ugh.

With the world shutting down due to Coronavirus, it's the perfect time to sober up.

Dee74

I'm sorry you drank again TB - whats stops you from posting here first do you think?

D

Tinkerbeau

My pig headed brain i think as at the time the av convinces me a drink is ok and i listen to it. I have got to get it into my head, alcohol is poison and no good comes from it. I feel different today likei do see it for the rubbish it is, i want those days back when i wasn't drinking that is the life i want.

Tinkerbeau

I know its mortifying, im not even on fbook as id embarrass myself too much but ive gone to extreme of actually posting a card, i wouldn't mind but he was a ****to me anyway so ive not even got anything to be sorry for !!!!

Yeah i have actually been trying to sort of self isolate, my plan was to not attempt events, big plans and stop thinking about relationships for next year. Just focus on getting better. I need to try harder

Dee74

Maybe the solution is not to try harder with the same things but think about what new things you can add this time, TB?

D

Tinkerbeau

I know Dee as i really want to beat this, 3 weeks seems to be my trigger time so i need to plan ahead and keep myself busy at that point. Ive worked out that in 90 days its my birthday so im using that as a goal to reach for now, then im hoping the cravings will be much less then to then continue sober life. Im going to make sure i make plans with my son every weekend to stop the loneliness, even just going to park for picnic or baking. Ive wasted money this weekend which im annoyed as i could of spent that on doing something nice with my little one.
I really need to move on from the past as i think that keeps me going back to drinking. So from today I'm letting go of the past, its gone. I need a fresh start focusing just on the present

freedomfries

Well I bought cigarettes but no booze. One thing at a time I guess

Be123

freedomfries

AV acting up again. Posting here instead of drinking

Be123

Tinkerbeau

Dont fall for it freedom, u don't want to be back on day 1 like me, full of regret and shame. I wish so much i hadn't listened to that av.

Be123