Dee74

Welcome back Tinkerbeau
No waves at all Bobdrop - just explaining myself

Its good to hear from you Pouncer, tho I'm sorry for your pain.

I fell in love with alcohol instantly because it allowed me not to be me for a little while.

I was worry free and open hearted, ten foot tall...

I imagined this was how everyone else in the world felt all the time but of course thats not the case.

Most people confront things in their past and grow and move through them.

My family and childhood issues were different but incredibly painful for me and it took me a little while to work through them and get to a place where I could leave them behind.

Its difficult to gauge growth and progress when you're the flower so to speak

I can only assess mine now by looking back. If your therapist says you're making headway they're probably right?

D

Sober369

Welcome back Tinker! I'm so glad you made it back and are on day 2. Let us know how it's going.
I do prefer to be called Karen. I was having a hard time signing up, and Sober369 was not really my choice, I was just giving it another shot trying to sign up and it worked and I was stuck with it. I can't imagine anyone fussing at you, Dee. You are such a rock for all of us, shame on them!
Quit, I think it's marvelous you went to say goodbye to the liquor store. Very funny, too, in a way. Burning bridges is a good thing! I'm so glad you're back!
Pouncer, it's great to see you back, too. Thanks for your honesty and sharing with us. I also grew up with abuse. So many of us did. It sounds like yours was horrendous, though. I'm really inspired by you.
You're all amazing people, I'm so glad each of you is part of our class. It was so great reading how all of you are doing and what's going on. I am really tired and hungry, just got home, so all the things I thought about saying to each of you as I was reading your posts have slipped my mind. I will come back later.

venuscat

Yes.....eat and rest first dear Karen. s xx


.......I always thought (as an AAer) that it wouldn't have mattered what my childhood looked like....I didn't need a reason to become an alcoholic. Now that I am studying addiction counselling, I realise how completely simplistic this is....of course there are presiding reasons for many of us.....perhaps all of us. Dee said it beautifully in his last post...

We came from pain....a lot of us did.
And alcohol helped, or we thought it did for a while.
And then we were in deep trouble.

I am learning things that mean the world to me from being a part of this thread.....I truly love the conversation.

Runner1234

Good evening everyone....
I just want to say how much I enjoy reading all the posts and how helpful they are to me...it really makes me feel less alone in this struggle and a connection that I desperately need. THANK YOU!!!
Midton...Sending healing wishes your way.
Red....my husband continues to drink and smoke...I finally had to set boundaries as far as what I will purchase for him. If I feel like it, I will buy his poison but I leave room for me to say no if I don't want to. You will find out what is right for you.
Ready...Sunrise at the beach...how marvelous!!!
Bob...The weather is fantastic...windy and raining off and on this afternoon here. Feels like pumpkin spice coffee! Jag game tonight
Karen...I love reading about Buddhism I find it fascinating..meditation has really helped me in recovery but isn't something that comes easy for me. I would rather run 5 miles then sit quietly with my thoughts. I started listening to Tara Brach she has some great meditations short and long and her voice is so comforting.
Awake...So glad you are here!
Quit...Getting back in the saddle is what counts! That's powerful saying goodbye to the clerk! I would have to say goodbye to 10 different clerks because I would make my wine purchase at various stores so clerks wouldn't catch on to my nightly habit...I can't believe I did that looking back
Tinker...Happy to see your post...you are making awesome progress..so glad you are back!
Pouncer...Thank you so much sharing....the emotional work is not easy but so worth it...My first seven months in recovery, I did not drink but I was not sober emotionally. The freedom comes through what you are doing.
Venus...thank you for all your inspiration! Once I figure out how to navigate the site...I will post a pic of my buddy Harley. He has kept me going on this journey and keeps me accountable for sober walks in the evening. He has a rough life with two rescue cats and looks forward to his frisbee and walk time each night
The game is about to start. Sorry if i ramble...my ADD can get in my way of communicating effectively
Wishing everyone peace, strength and encouragement...hugs to all

venuscat

Errr.....no.....you dont ramble ever.....what an awesome post!!! And what game....I must look....brb.... xx

Auburn? Houston/Tulane? No clue. :bigrin:

And I think you communicate perfectly. ❤️

Jewel72

Dear Pouncer, Hugs to you. It has to be so hard to endure such abuse and not have your parents listen and support you. But you are being so wise now, doing the work you need to do for you and seeking the support towards healing and being fully you. You deserve a beautiful sober life!

I am pleased to have made it through day 2. Seems like small stuff, but when the beast rears her ugly head, she is hard to slay. I will slay this once and for all. Thankfully, I guess, I now have a cold so zero desire to drink.

I'm off the take a hot bath and get a good night's sleep.

venuscat

It isn't small stuff at all love....it is wonderful.
Have a lovely bath. xx

Off to bed here, need to be up early for Aussie Rules Football final. (it's a week before the grand final).

RattleAndHum

Runner - thanks for the recommendations! I’ve been listening to them to and from work. I’ll probably be listening to them and sticking close to here over the weekend. I don’t feel like I’ll drink or anything, but both help me stay mindful of my recovery.

David - Feel free to call me Mike or my username. I’m undergoing an identity crisis on how I should refer to myself here. Lol

It’s been a long work week. Not bad, just long. I teach high school English, and I can say that I do have much more energy and more to give when I’m not rattled by the weekend’s binges. I’m looking forward to spending time with my family this weekend and recharging.

Have a good night, all. Welcoming my 18th night of sober sleep.

- R&H, or Mike, or Rattle, or Mike

ReadyAtLast

Wow so many posts since yesterday-it's wonderful. I'm off today and got a few things to do first bit looking forward to sitting down and having a good catch up later

Red78

I think I've made it for Friday night, nearly didn't, that brain nearly poured a wine. My partners bro turned up from aussie this afternoon out of the blue, so they sat and had a couple of beers and a quick catch up before we left for our snowboarding trip, was soo tempting..
My partner is already asking whether I want to go out for tea on sat night, omg biggest biggest trigger, so I told him ild rather sit in the caravan at the campground and enjoy that environment since we don't do it often..
Anyway back on the road, will check in later..

Dee74

You can do this red

bobdrop

Good morning all. Day 19 here. Runner-GO JAGS!!

Have got a lot to do today to finish the week so I'm going to leave this short.

Soda-Hope you're doing OK.

Jewel72

Yes, Red, You Can do this without drinking. Let’s stay sober together this weekend and really begin building up time.

Day 3 and struck with a cold. Good news; no desire to drink. Bad news; Just when I thought I could begin to catch up on things I’ve let go, I’m now down for the count. Oh well. It can all wait I suppose.

I hope you all have a wonderful weekend!

venuscat

Perhaps you can read and watch videos and just have a 'you day' dear Quitnow. s

And Red love, good idea to have dinner in the caravan Sat night....and I would want to do that anyway....stay in the grounds and have a nice camp tea....a restaurant would spoil the whole vibe of the weekend for me.

Go girl....you got this....and we are all right with you.
You too dear Quitnow.

Massive s for everyone.

PS....Having a fantastic Friday....the football final was BRILLIANT this morning.

Wastinglife

I've always been able to sober up after a prolonged period of drinking. 3-4 days of detoxing is very uncomfortable but I have been through it dozens of times. It's when I am entirely sober after a while that I can't maintain. I have to face my very real problems and the hopelessness of my situation. I am essentially unemployable due to the red flags I raise and inability to clear any vetting process.

I cannot support myself without financial support from family. At 43, this is just pathetic. Why should I bother going on? I am not suicidal or anything but I don't see any hope for me sober or drunk

venuscat

I was 49 and in exactly the same mess. s
Really love....I was about to be homeless, had no way of getting a job at that point and I was in massive debt. I felt the same way.....what was the point?

It is now 7 years later....I am no longer destitute, I have work and work on the way that I adore, I found love and got married (to an American SR, which is why I moved here from Australia). And even though I am no youngster, I have a good attitude (and good genes) and I am determined to have the life I stole from myself.

I even started college, again.

The only way out of this pain is sober dear Wastinglife.....and one day at a time, it gets better. People start believing in you as you begin believing in yourself, and opportunities that didn't exist before open up to you.

Really. This is true for so many of us on SR.....so many were at the very bottom (like me) and survived and blossomed.

So that is why you should persevere. And because of your username....your heart and soul do not want this anymore. You deserve a great life....I promise it is possible. s xx

Tinkerbeau

Hi everybody day 3, not doing much just curled up on sofa watching tv as still feel unwell.

I've read the posts on here though and they are amazing and so helpful, i really related to the descriptions of why people turned to alcohol and made me reasile that was me too. I was so self conscious and shy, i felt like no one liked me i was never good enough, and suddenly with alcohol i thought was amazing and outgoing, and funny all the things i wanted to be. Till of course i was just a drunken mess making huge mistakes and by then i thought alcohol was only way to cope with life and once i started i couldn't stop !! Its so glaringly obvious know yet i only just see it.

venuscat

I really didn't see it either.....throughout this entire journey, I have never looked at why I drank. I didn't think there was a why. Other than that alcoholism is thought to be/is genetic, and there were at least 4 of 8 in my mum's family who died of alcohol-related illness.

But if I tell people about my childhood, they cry. I accidentally made a friend cry last Friday....I felt awful, and apologised.

Growing up self-conscious and shy and not having anyone to really be your champion is tough: it hurts. And kids can be mean, or unknowing and so many shy people get left out. That hurts so much. s

Sober, I can choose how I deal with things now.
And you will be able to do that as well.....we get stronger and more confident, and learn to let go of the pain of the past.

Runner1234

Good Friday all....
Congrats to all the strengths and successes here
Bob...I enjoyed watching a winning game last night...forgot what that felt like!
Quit...Self-care is so important for our journey...feel better and take good care of yourself!
Red...Realizing our triggers and doing what is best for us helps get us through another day.
Rattle...Enjoy your precious family time.
Wastinglife...I am slowly climbing my way out of hopelessness. I am working hard on self, other and life acceptance (serenity prayer)...I fought it a long time with wine and got nowhere...bit by bit we can do this!
Beautiful day here, I would like to do something fun this weekend but want to tackle some fall deep cleaning. The stuff I ignore when making bad choices. It always makes me feel better to accomplish those tasks I like to avoid.
Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend...We got this!

Runner1234

Tinker...Congrats on day 3...please take good care of yourself
Venus...your words are so true...thanks for sharing...I was the shy fat kid that lead me to decades of disordered eating