Class of September Part 2 2019
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 218
Venuscat, your messages really touched me. I ended up crying! I really hate this feeling of throwing away all the good work I’d done. I don’t want to continue boozing my life away. I know that if I continue on this path all that I’ve worked hard for will be p***ed up the wall.
I called in sick on Friday after being out with everyone from work. I’m petrified about Monday now. The last couple of months I’d begun to turn things round in work. My bosses earmarked me out for a promotion and have been giving me stretch targets. I’ve been over the moon about this. But now I feel I’ve just thrown it down the toilet. I can’t be trusted. When will it get better?
I called in sick on Friday after being out with everyone from work. I’m petrified about Monday now. The last couple of months I’d begun to turn things round in work. My bosses earmarked me out for a promotion and have been giving me stretch targets. I’ve been over the moon about this. But now I feel I’ve just thrown it down the toilet. I can’t be trusted. When will it get better?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,391
You haven't thrown it away at all. 
s
No one at work ever has to see you drunk again, and I doubt anyone will say a word about Friday.....maybe a joke, or ask if you are feeling better. Just smile and say yes, perfect, and get on with it.
And you can be trusted. You made a mistake because you are human....I bet you won't make it again.
I know you feel awful right now....but you went for a run, and now you need some good food. And some hugs. And this is going to feel a lot better by tomorrow.
sNo one at work ever has to see you drunk again, and I doubt anyone will say a word about Friday.....maybe a joke, or ask if you are feeling better. Just smile and say yes, perfect, and get on with it.
And you can be trusted. You made a mistake because you are human....I bet you won't make it again.
I know you feel awful right now....but you went for a run, and now you need some good food. And some hugs. And this is going to feel a lot better by tomorrow.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 288
The temptation to drink is strong today. I don’t know why. It has seemingly come out of nowhere. I’m not going to. I’m going to stay away from that first drink, but wow, it’s scary how the urge can hit so unexpectedly. I don’t have much else to add right now - I have to get back to my family - but I thought I’d write this down to help me navigate through this. I hope all of you are doing well.
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Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,391
Mike ~ this is normal for a lot of us in early recovery.....cravings are fierce sometimes.... we are all with you....And a good time to post this maybe 
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Location: Georgia, USA
Posts: 2,229
Cravings are awful. I'm praying for you Mike. Hang in there. One thing I promised myself I would not forget was the feeling I get after the craving is gone and I am so grateful. It's like a high on it's own, but it's good for you!
Realizing how close I came to drinking, and then seeing that I'm totally safe and sober and still on the recovery path just gives me a burst of joy. Then, when I think of that feeling when an urge hits, it's easier for the urge to go away.
I loved your post, Venus. It made me want to cry, too! Because I relate so much. We've had similar paths. I bet most of us have. I'm so glad you found your way out, and that you're helping so many of us find our way out, too.
I'd better get busy around here. I'll be back!
Let's all wake up sober tomorrow morning!
Realizing how close I came to drinking, and then seeing that I'm totally safe and sober and still on the recovery path just gives me a burst of joy. Then, when I think of that feeling when an urge hits, it's easier for the urge to go away.
I loved your post, Venus. It made me want to cry, too! Because I relate so much. We've had similar paths. I bet most of us have. I'm so glad you found your way out, and that you're helping so many of us find our way out, too.
I'd better get busy around here. I'll be back!
Let's all wake up sober tomorrow morning!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 288
Originally Posted by venuscat 
Mike ~ this is normal for a lot of us in early recovery.....cravings are fierce sometimes.... we are all with you....And a good time to post this maybe
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...-cravings.html (CarolD's tips for cravings)
Member
Join Date: Apr 2017
Location: Portland maine
Posts: 1,330
Always thankful for your loving support Venus. My husband believes that only weak people are alcoholics. He had given up heroin and booze years ago without any help. Just walked away from it. I just tell him, "well good for you, what a strong character you have!". He also grew up in a very ethnic house, where the women didn't drink, so that bothers him too. Oh well. I'm just staying the course.Weak or not.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2016
Posts: 288
Originally Posted by Sober369
Cravings are awful. I'm praying for you Mike. Hang in there. One thing I promised myself I would not forget was the feeling I get after the craving is gone and I am so grateful. It's like a high on it's own, but it's good for you!
Realizing how close I came to drinking, and then seeing that I'm totally safe and sober and still on the recovery path just gives me a burst of joy. Then, when I think of that feeling when an urge hits, it's easier for the urge to go away.
I loved your post, Venus. It made me want to cry, too! Because I relate so much. We've had similar paths. I bet most of us have. I'm so glad you found your way out, and that you're helping so many of us find our way out, too.
I'd better get busy around here. I'll be back!
Let's all wake up sober tomorrow morning!
Realizing how close I came to drinking, and then seeing that I'm totally safe and sober and still on the recovery path just gives me a burst of joy. Then, when I think of that feeling when an urge hits, it's easier for the urge to go away.
I loved your post, Venus. It made me want to cry, too! Because I relate so much. We've had similar paths. I bet most of us have. I'm so glad you found your way out, and that you're helping so many of us find our way out, too.
I'd better get busy around here. I'll be back!
Let's all wake up sober tomorrow morning!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2018
Posts: 1,254
Originally Posted by Dee74
All I can tell you hw is this thing is progressive.
It gets worse.
Don't get to 40 like I did drinking alone cos you were too embarrassed by your behaviour to go out anymore.
D
It gets worse.
Don't get to 40 like I did drinking alone cos you were too embarrassed by your behaviour to go out anymore.
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 218
Thanks for the lovely messages on here. I am reading here till I finally feel sleepy enough. I’ve done a batch of work today and will get up and do a new batch of work tomorrow. Keeping oh so close to here. I’ve learnt my lesson from this last time. Don’t grow complacent-that’s when it comes to sucker punch your backside.
I’m so drained and feel so very flat. I know this will pass but that’s when the real vigilance kicks in.
I’ve spoken to my counsellor and have arranged an emergency meeting with her. She doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic because we have been having sessions in my last stint of sobriety. But I know deep down that this game is not for me. All those plans and hopes I have built up through my work with her can be kissed goodbye if I so much as entertain the thought of me not having a problem.
I’m so drained and feel so very flat. I know this will pass but that’s when the real vigilance kicks in.
I’ve spoken to my counsellor and have arranged an emergency meeting with her. She doesn’t think I’m an alcoholic because we have been having sessions in my last stint of sobriety. But I know deep down that this game is not for me. All those plans and hopes I have built up through my work with her can be kissed goodbye if I so much as entertain the thought of me not having a problem.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2019
Posts: 76
Good evening all...
Hang in there Mike....I had a moment at Trader Joes this evening....I don't understand why so much wine available in a store geared for healthy eating? I quickly left the scene, but did not get everything on my list.
Pretty tired this evening but will attend my Saturday night meeting.
Let's keep strong and carry on
Hang in there Mike....I had a moment at Trader Joes this evening....I don't understand why so much wine available in a store geared for healthy eating? I quickly left the scene, but did not get everything on my list.
Pretty tired this evening but will attend my Saturday night meeting.
Let's keep strong and carry on
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,391
Originally Posted by Awake61
Always thankful for your loving support Venus. My husband believes that only weak people are alcoholics. He had given up heroin and booze years ago without any help. Just walked away from it. I just tell him, "well good for you, what a strong character you have!". He also grew up in a very ethnic house, where the women didn't drink, so that bothers him too. Oh well. I'm just staying the course.Weak or not.
Some people do not understand.....but that is OK....we do. And we do this together honey.
❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I can't believe I made this account 7 years ago. Ugh! I have actually been an alcoholic for 15 years I would guess but I wasn't trying to help myself in any way for the first half of the time. I don't think I realized I had a problem until 2011. Struggling ever since with some periods of sobriety. I will never stop trying though!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,391
It takes what it takes....I got told this over and over....and I was frustrated by this.
And then one day, you have a light-bulb moment of clarity, and BOOM.....you are ready. Ready for the rest of your life to be a whole lot better, and willing to do the work. s ❤️
And then one day, you have a light-bulb moment of clarity, and BOOM.....you are ready. Ready for the rest of your life to be a whole lot better, and willing to do the work.
s ❤️
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 218
Starting off Day 3. Awoke early, as is to be expected. I have that gut wrenching feeling of anxiety and FEAR. It's crippling. I lay in bed curled into a little ball. I just want this all to go away and do be back to where I was.
Reflecting on the last couple of weeks prior to my slip, I think that I was feeling a bit overcommitted: trying to do everything in work and not achieving anything near what I should. I think that overcommitment needs to be something I really look out for in the next couple of months. It's a family trait really. We're all people pleasers (because of my mum - long story I won't go into). I find it hard to establish and maintain boundaries. Also when I get stressed because of my overcommitment I go into freeze mode. I struggle to get anything done which exacerbates the situation.
I guess I'm just saying that I feel spread very thin at the moment. I don't know how to stop doing this though. It's like a cyclical thing, something I've always done. And then to break out of it I hit the **** it button, which involves drinking like there's no tomorrow.
Reflecting on the last couple of weeks prior to my slip, I think that I was feeling a bit overcommitted: trying to do everything in work and not achieving anything near what I should. I think that overcommitment needs to be something I really look out for in the next couple of months. It's a family trait really. We're all people pleasers (because of my mum - long story I won't go into). I find it hard to establish and maintain boundaries. Also when I get stressed because of my overcommitment I go into freeze mode. I struggle to get anything done which exacerbates the situation.
I guess I'm just saying that I feel spread very thin at the moment. I don't know how to stop doing this though. It's like a cyclical thing, something I've always done. And then to break out of it I hit the **** it button, which involves drinking like there's no tomorrow.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,319
I think most of here were scared, on edge and felt spread thin in the first week hw - you're doing great and sounds like you're where most of us were on day 4
I just had to let go and float with the currents for the first few weeks hw and have faith that I'd end up in a better place that the place I'd just left.
Things got better - they will for you too so long as you stay sober
D
I just had to let go and float with the currents for the first few weeks hw and have faith that I'd end up in a better place that the place I'd just left.
Things got better - they will for you too so long as you stay sober
D
Member
Join Date: Dec 2018
Posts: 218
Thanks Dee-floating with the currents is not something I'm very good at all. I think that that's a great place to start with forming my plan.
I've been doing a bit of reading around the forum here and stealing snippets of plans I see in people's post that really resonate with me. I'm aiming to take these snippets and formalise it into a more concrete one over the next few days.
I just feel so exposed, raw and small. Like really small.
I've been doing a bit of reading around the forum here and stealing snippets of plans I see in people's post that really resonate with me. I'm aiming to take these snippets and formalise it into a more concrete one over the next few days.
I just feel so exposed, raw and small. Like really small.
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