Sober369

Good morning everyone. Welcome Nichole and Erratic!
It's nice to have this extra time this morning. I usually don't get to stay on in the morning for long. Working from home gives me a couple extra hours every day.
That's exactly the attitude I want to have with my coworker, Venus. That's what I'm trying for, but I am hurt and angry and it tends to come out in things I do and say during the day. I have a harder time controlling it when I'm only a few days away from the last drink. Another really important reason to stay sober!

Erratic

lol venuscat that brought a smile to my face x guess need to get back to the gratitude thread.

good to see u nicholex and thanks dee and soberx

just took out my dog for a walk and not sure what else to do, sit here and mope or go do dishes and mope or just mope hmm what shall it be? well i am moping here and reaching out for change,but guess its mope on here then?

sry i am trying to be light hearted when i say that above x

anyway prob end up moping tomo morn at work lol see i am trying x

instead venus what about a moping list instead of gratitude? lol

mope husband hasnt phoned me this lunch time
mope why cant i concentrate on anything
mope why dont these dam tablets work

lol really trying to kid about xx and also just rambling x to keep me going .

Pelagic263

Starting day 4 and feeling better. Last nights meal and walk have done me good. So, enough with withdrawal and on to recovery!

Welcome erratic and Nichole!

Today I need to get my computer straightened out (or replaced). I cant type on the tablet I've been using. Too many typos and slow as can be.

That and tackling a bunch of paperwork Ive been ignoring for a month or more. When drinking heavily my life just seems to stop. Enough of that BS.

Its great to see our class coming together. Let's stay together and stay sober.

Lol, erratic. I cant use tablets for any thing but surfing either!

venuscat

Aussies have an expression when asked "How's it going mate?" We say "can't complain". With a smile. Not me....I have always had an answer for that one....YES YOU CAN. Loudly and often.

So get it all out Erratic. I would be unhappy that my husband didn't call me as well.....guess he got stuck in a meeting? And concentrating is hard when we are in withdrawal.....sometimes just hard anyway when you are an Aquarian with 5000 projects going at once. (moi). And I am betting you are tired love, and needing nourishment for body and brain.

What tablets? Rhetorical question....whatever they are call the doc maybe and have a chat?

What kind of dog? My dogs never let me mope.....gosh.....my border collie (Panda) used to get so upset when I did that. I would make myself cheer up just for the dog.

I say yes to the dishes, and yes to nurturing yourself today, and yes to complaining to your heart's content.

No one ever said it was fun to be an alcoholic.

I will tell you a secret though.....almost 5 years down the line: I am very grateful to be an alcoholic in recovery, and my life is all kinds of fun now.



EDIT: Oh my, I am so ditzy.....tablet like tablet Erratic?

Good luck with yours Pelagic....I have 3 PCs all running perfectly, one still on Windows 7, 2/3 phones and a tablet. I love technology. He he.

venuscat

Hello Lava. s

Kinsey ~ are you alright love? Huge hugs. xx

Lava

Hi Suze. Hi everyone!

Well I guess I'm joining August. I remember some of you from previous classes. Let's hustle together and get this right.

I'm on day 7, so it is nice making it to a week. I've been praying for something to click in my head to make me realise how rational it is to never drink again and I think I'm slowly getting it. What I remind myself when the AV comes knocking is;

1. There was a time before I started drinking (before I was 21) when I didn't care for alcohol at all and even hated the taste. I can go back to being that person. I still had many problems then but didn't feel the need to (didn't know I could) self medicate.
2. I honestly don't like the taste anymore. Not even wine, which I used to love. So what's the point 🤷*♀️.
3. Do I really not want to fully feel and experience my life? Is it so horrible? The answer to that is it's not. I can live my life, day by day, and let myself feel the good and the bad. That's what everyone else on this earth does.

It is still a struggle but it's starting to make sense for me.

Glad to be here.

venuscat

Awesome post Lava!!! And welcome.
Really glad you are here with us. s

Lava

Oh and just a little bit about myself...

I'm a mid thirties woman, from Uganda, but currently living in Europe. Moved out here recently. I have 2 children, a boy of 3 and a newborn 😊. I'm a stay at home mum, which suits me just fine in my journey right now. I have time to work at recovering fully, or at least trying to, without the added distraction and stress of a job. I'm grateful for that, truly. I wish I could do therapy and/or AA but that's not possible for me at the moment. Maybe in the future.

I'm hoping this sticks.

Tell us more about yourselves, everyone... I'm hard pressed just trying to guess people's gender by their screen names 😁. I've been away from SR for over a year so I'm out of touch a little bit, sorry.

Lava

Thanks a lot, Suze. 🤗

venuscat

Ahhh, I knew I knew you.
But then I saw your join date.....

I am in my 50s, an Aussie, moved here two and a half years ago to marry an SR. Yes really. Very glad I did. Lots and lots of adjusting though.....never married before (me) and no one speaks English in America.....kidding.....I had British parents and I am a touch pedantic.

I am studying online and about to go back to college one day a week to do addiction counselling and I am a writer. And a plant addict....currently own around 200 odd. My house and garden is a very pretty jungle.

Wow....Uganda....I haven't met any Ugandans here, but there is a big population in Melbourne, Aus. I imagine that moving to Europe has been very interesting for you.

And two little ones....wow.....a lot of joy and a lot of work.

ReadyAtLast

Hi, I love doing this and am usually wrong. I remember talking to someone for months assuming they were one gender only to later find they were another

venuscat

The funniest and most often got wrong is Dee.
I remember when I joined, and I was in my class thread and thought wow, this guy is fantastic, but wait a minute....is he a she? I didn't think so. And then Dee told us how he picked his username.....there is a funny thread here somewhere.....I shall look.

And I don't think there is much doubt with me.....kooky chic may as well be written on my avatar.

(No clue how to find it, it is a thread about how people picked their usernames.....bet D finds it in 2 and a half seconds. ).


Hi Bumblebee.....come chat. xx

Rsanchez920

[QUOTE=Dee74;7238004]



Not sure if this is how to reply. I have 4 days and i keep going back and fourth thinking of using then i snap out of it and think how i already feel so much better and hace more hope. Then i go back to thinking i want to be numb for just 1 night... With how much ive suffer already i dont know why i would think about kicking my own ass... Guess its just the addict in us. Holding strong for this hour.

xxxNICHOLExxx

i Haven’t figured how to fully let go of this life and it’s not a pleasant life when addiction is active I have made a lot of progress from the first time on SR but I don’t know why I’m holding onto drinking or other stuff that I know probably isn’t okay to do..... I do feel like drinking and it’s still pretty early here just before 2pm but I’m not going to I figured I’ll come here instead
Thanks you for the welcome hopefully everyone has a lovely day

venuscat

[QUOTE=Rsanchez920;7247214] Welcome dear Rsanchez. s

It's pretty hard with all of those swirling emotions.....every day it gets better. Just so glad you joined us. s

ReadyAtLast

Welcome Rsanchez

Nichole, I totally understand. I'm only on day 4 but usually after a few days I feel great and think oh it's ok I'll drink again. I just have to put the thoughts out of my head and say I won't drink no matter what. New habits help too tho take time.

I love sleep when sober and waking sober. It's so good, surely those feelings should make it enough for me to be sober. Sadly not though.

Day 4 drawing to a close here. Got lots done. Productive day at work. Step count done.

Another sober sleep.

Best wishes to you all.

venuscat

We hear the word addict.....maybe we hear it so often we forget what it means. For some of us, playing around with drugs or alcohol in what feels like a 'normal' way to start with, quickly slides into something that is so not normal.

And we know. Yet we keep trying again.....if I do this or this I will be OK. Enjoy the buzz. Not do anything dumb. Not ruin the next day. Not ruin my life. And then we do it again. And again. And again.

There is a reason they say in the rooms that there are only three places we can end up: dead, in hospital or in jail. I truly believe this.

I am an addict Nicole honey. I can't drink, I don't use drugs. I cannot. I am not able to stop once I start and I never will be able to. Getting off that conveyer belt is really really good. It is just so exhausting. xx

venuscat

Why are we so terribly hard on ourselves? Maybe because it took so long for alcoholism to be officially considered a disease....but it is now. In the current DSM it is indeed lisited....

"Alcohol Use Disorder. Problem drinking that becomes severe is given the medical diagnosis of “alcohol use disorder” or AUD. AUD is a chronic relapsing brain disease characterized by compulsive alcohol use, loss of control over alcohol intake, and a negative emotional state when not using."

Would we expect to beat diabetes with our thoughts? Not a chance. We need help with this....and it takes time to get better. s

xxxNICHOLExxx

Readyatlast congrats on day 4
Venuscat I agree with everything you said and You couldn’t be more right!!!
I’m afraid if I keep doing what I’m doing now I’m going to end up cutting my life short I’ve played with fire for about 17 years only thing I want now is a simple life and watching my little ones grow up

venuscat

And then Nicole love, after you have that peace, you will find joy you never even knew existed. s