360shoes

You want a fun reminder of the early days?? It was bite the stearing wheel day. Several times I was about to say f it.

But I didn't. Called a friend. Played the story out. And basically told myself you know this will pass and tomorrow morning you will feel better. So just have a crappy day because as crappy as it is it is still better than before. I need to start ranking crappy days from 1 to 10. With drinking being a 100 on the scale. So today was a 7. 93 points from the worst so I think I can handle that.
xoxo

360shoes

You want a fun reminder of the early days?? It was bite the stearing wheel day. Several times I was about to say f it.

But I didn't. Called a friend. Played the story out. And basically told myself you know this will pass and tomorrow morning you will feel better. So just have a crappy day because as crappy as it is it is still better than before. I need to start ranking crappy days from 1 to 10. With drinking being a 100 on the scale. So today was a 7. 93 points from the worst so I think I can handle that.
xoxo

360shoes

My bad. On my phone. Hit something twice.

trachemys

That was a fun enough be remember to warrant two postings, 👟👠 .

BuddinK

Good for looking ahead Shoes.

tootsl1

Ah those bad old days, didn't we have some laughs....
Well done Shoes, a grotty day sober is better than any day drunk ( cos even those that start well end.....less well!
Was it a bad day to start with Shoes? As we all now well enough, drinking doesn't cure a sh1te day, just makes you feel twice as bad the next day. You did the right thing. Even the worst days still on,y have 24 hours, and you should be starting today feeling pretty darned good about yourself!

Saskia

Shoes

venuscat

toots is so right.....you should be darned proud of yourself today dear shoes!! ♥

360shoes

Thanks everyone This is so much harder than last time. But so was drinking every day. I am literally one day at a time. I am looking forward to the day when I feel somewhat normal. I got to call my psych NP. We have been watching the depression because it's possible I maybe bipolar. I think it's a real possibility. I think the alcohol was covering it.
​​

venuscat

(((shoes))) ♥♥

venuscat

I am really glad you have a good doctor looking after you love.
And I most definitely agree that yes, it does get harder. When I relapsed in 2014 I was kind of terrified for almost a full month once sober again. It took time for everything to normalise.....so be patient with yourself love.

One day at a time, good food, lots of water, fresh air for 10 mins or more (I just stick my face outside for like 30 seconds at a time because yesterday I was outside for 5 mins and almost got frostbite on my fingers), a good doctor , good friends, meetings and remember TO BE KIND TO YOURSELF. ♥

Babs1234

Hugs to you Shoes-----
still getting back to normal here----just not use to this snow even tho
I live here in the Dakota's it's a tough year-----
Having a few issues with my moods lately ----after being back from Arizona
I feel like there's nothing to look forward to---and that's not true either---just feeling sorry for myself today. It too will pass.
Babs

360shoes

I think we have SADs Babs. I live in Nebraska and the winter has been brutal here too. We need some sun and vitamin d.

venuscat

Sending you both more love. s

Babs honey.....just remember how well you are doing.....you fought hard for this....some days are just crappy.....something I think many recovering addicts/alkies forget. It doesn't mean that we are bad or life is bad or all is terrible....it is just a crappy day or a hard time.....yes, this cold has been tough. And from Saturday we have to get used to being in the dark in the morning again (I hate daylight savings), but a UV light and Vit D3 and funny tv shows and herbal tea and planning yummy meals...just some things that might help a little.

venuscat

Imagine how this is for me.....I spent over 50 years in Australia. I had no idea just how the cold and dark would affect me. It took major adjustment. I whinged like mad about the humidity (it is higher here than Georgia a lot of the time), and then it was too hot for me....and then it got cold so fast....gosh, I am lucky they didn't kick me off the site for being a whiner outside of Whiners.

I adjusted. I do not believe that living in a cold climate has to negatively affect us: good food and taking advantage of all of the light you can....staying warm inside but making sure you get fresh air even if it is just for a few minutes at a time.

I know it isn't as cold as Nebraska here though.....

But we are so strong.......all of us.....look what we have done.....so you can do this too darling Babs....you can get through the end of nasty winter.....not long to go now..... s

tootsl1

Shoes, so many here have used alcohol to self medicate other conditions and only recognised them for what they are once they begin to confront themselves, which is such a touchy thing to do, many will do anything to avoid it, including going back to drinking. It sounds like you have someone helping you to figure this out. X

Hi Babs, I think we all go through troughs like that, especially after returning from a nice break.

BuddinK

Babs, I left Key West 3 1/2 years ago, still not used to or liking winter. I don't mind the cooler parts of the year but cold and cold rain are real downers for me, and it's not even really bad here in Tennessee, I haven't seen below zero yet and only a couple of snow days. However the sun rarely coming out and all the rain we are getting so far really makes me wish it was over. Hang in there, we will all be whining about the heat again soon enough!

Saskia

Some days, weeks, months and years are tougher than others. Winter with shorter days and colder weather is not easy for me, either. For some odd reason this winter is the first one I can remember that I haven’t felt crummy. Perhaps the aging thing, the way time keeps going faster and the knowledge that my life really ends at some point in the not too distant future are affecting the way I feel and look at things. I do still occasionally wish I could have a drink but I know exactly what would happen if I did.

I’ve been absorbing the fact that the heart problem I had over 20 years ago appears to be returning (not unexpected). It’s thankfully mild so far. Now more than ever I know that I can’t physically or emotionally survive another relapse. I’m ok with that. I know I won’t drink.

venuscat

(((Sass))) ♥

Well, another monthly soberversary for you today love....so it's a darn good day to not drink.... For all of us.

Saskia

It is, indeed a darn good day not to drink, Suze!

I don’t feel sad or scared. I could live another 25 years (unlikely) or another minute. I’m ok with whatever happens. What makes me sad about death is when it happens to children and younger folks who still have much of their lives in front of them. One of the many benefits of living where I do is that it’s easier to accept life however it shows up :-)