24 Hour Recovery Connections Part 398
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
Originally Posted by Plenny 
Hi all.... I went to my 2nd meeting today and was approached afterwards by a woman who was way too pushy about sponsor now, steps now, and adamant that "just sitting" here was pointless. I am trying to not let it ruin my experience because I really need community and right now I just need to BE IN the rooms and 'feel' the structure before I jump into it ..... help!
This is NOT OK.
And there are many wonderful AAs who will sponsor with love and guidance.....not dogma. Just walk away......and trust me, there are a lot of women in AA like me....I help like my sponsor helped me....as a friend and guide....I am nobody's boss.
Love you honey. Chin up. Onward to better experiences.
♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
Originally Posted by Willow68
Hi everyone ❤️
Checking in for another 24 from sunny north east Oz.
6.20am and super busy, uni starts back on Monday and I’m a bit scared
wondering if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew this semester, studying fulltime, working, family commitments, elderly sick parents. But I’m not drinking which has to help, I have freed up all that time I used to spend sourcing, hiding and drinking alcohol. I just have to organise my time and get through this semester, one day at a time and I’ll be ok....
Yes. One day at a time, 24 hours please
Much love to everyone ❤️❤️
Willow xxxx
Checking in for another 24 from sunny north east Oz.
6.20am and super busy, uni starts back on Monday and I’m a bit scared
wondering if I’ve bitten off more than I can chew this semester, studying fulltime, working, family commitments, elderly sick parents. But I’m not drinking which has to help, I have freed up all that time I used to spend sourcing, hiding and drinking alcohol. I just have to organise my time and get through this semester, one day at a time and I’ll be ok....Yes. One day at a time, 24 hours please
Much love to everyone ❤️❤️
Willow xxxx
together would be good. WILL be good. We can do this, right? Oh yeah.
♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
Originally Posted by kevlarsjal2
Hi everyone,
I haven't posted here in ages, I signed up 2016 and posted a lot for about a year. I had to sign up under a new name cause I couldn't remember either my password or email.
I was doing pretty okay regarding my sobriety, having 1 year and 9 months tomorrow.
I had a boyfriend who supported me very much but also has more than enough own problems and it was an on off thing, him ending it every few months.
Now we had a series of minor misunderstandings (me feeling overlooked, him not feeling considered) and it led him to run off on the street one night, not talking to me for a week. I think emotional conflicts overwhelm him...
However in that week I had a bad bike accident in traffic and broke my leg and when he came to see me in hospital he broke up with me. This was a month ago now. During the time i got surgery done he was still there for me a little bit and even came to see me once, being nice to me and caring. But since I got out of hospital he said he needs space and wants no contact.
This isn't anything new, I just read to some of my old posts where I was complaining about it being so hard with him not wanting contact, needing space etc.
Right now I am stuck at home alone with my broken leg for 3 weeks already. Once a week or so a friend is coming over but other than that I am alone, no one to talk, no one to help or assist me. It's tough. Really tough.
I suffer from depression which is mostly okay in the summer but now I notice how much it really helped to be able to run or go for walks or sit outside in the sun or in nature or to meet friends. So my depression is quite bad again and I don't have much to help myself.
And I really miss that man, he was and still is very special to me, the only person I ever felt close with, the only person who I thought could relate to me.
If anyone has a nice word to spare, I will appreciate it cause right now I'm losing hope.
I haven't posted here in ages, I signed up 2016 and posted a lot for about a year. I had to sign up under a new name cause I couldn't remember either my password or email.
I was doing pretty okay regarding my sobriety, having 1 year and 9 months tomorrow.
I had a boyfriend who supported me very much but also has more than enough own problems and it was an on off thing, him ending it every few months.
Now we had a series of minor misunderstandings (me feeling overlooked, him not feeling considered) and it led him to run off on the street one night, not talking to me for a week. I think emotional conflicts overwhelm him...
However in that week I had a bad bike accident in traffic and broke my leg and when he came to see me in hospital he broke up with me. This was a month ago now. During the time i got surgery done he was still there for me a little bit and even came to see me once, being nice to me and caring. But since I got out of hospital he said he needs space and wants no contact.
This isn't anything new, I just read to some of my old posts where I was complaining about it being so hard with him not wanting contact, needing space etc.
Right now I am stuck at home alone with my broken leg for 3 weeks already. Once a week or so a friend is coming over but other than that I am alone, no one to talk, no one to help or assist me. It's tough. Really tough.
I suffer from depression which is mostly okay in the summer but now I notice how much it really helped to be able to run or go for walks or sit outside in the sun or in nature or to meet friends. So my depression is quite bad again and I don't have much to help myself.
And I really miss that man, he was and still is very special to me, the only person I ever felt close with, the only person who I thought could relate to me.
If anyone has a nice word to spare, I will appreciate it cause right now I'm losing hope.
Sending you love and healing hugs.
♥♥♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
Originally Posted by kevlarsjal2
Oh and hi Kenton, Plenny and Badgerden! It's good to see some familiar names. I don't know if you remember me, I haven't been on here for about a year. But I remember you guys from our nobenders thread
You post here and you are stuck with us forever.
xx ♥♥
Member
Join Date: May 2018
Posts: 8,762
Venus ❤️ Yes! We can do this ❤️ Together is so much better than alone ❤️
A masters! Go you! This is my second round of undergrad after postgrad, so I’m kind of back to the beginning again, come full circle in a way, but still moving forward if that makes sense
I’m sad that the parents part is over for you ❤️ but I know that you would have made sooo much difference in their lives ❤️ And now it’s time for you to shine for YOU. Giving so much to others for so long, you now need to give to yourself too
Sadly I realise my journey with my parents won’t be for a lot longer, but I know I have to learn to accept that, and I think I have, I don’t like it, and I will be devastated when they go, but they have given me the inspiration and courage to take this new path in my life to support others as they grow frailer, and I will do my absolute best to make their lives a little more comfortable and happier each precious day ❤️ xxx
Together is so much better than alone ❤️A masters! Go you! This is my second round of undergrad after postgrad, so I’m kind of back to the beginning again, come full circle in a way, but still moving forward if that makes sense
I’m sad that the parents part is over for you
❤️ but I know that you would have made sooo much difference in their lives ❤️ And now it’s time for you to shine for YOU. Giving so much to others for so long, you now need to give to yourself too Sadly I realise my journey with my parents won’t be for a lot longer, but I know I have to learn to accept that, and I think I have, I don’t like it, and I will be devastated when they go, but they have given me the inspiration and courage to take this new path in my life to support others as they grow frailer, and I will do my absolute best to make their lives a little more comfortable and happier each precious day ❤️ xxx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Thank you everyone for your replies and being so lovely! Just receiving some caring and genuine words feels so good and it totally overwhelmed me. Lately I even felt cared about and somewhat happy when after asking my ex in a desperate message if he not maybe could be there at least a little bit because I feel so bad, if he doesn't feel to bad, he then replied something along the lines of "no but I hope you're okay"...
I had totally forgotten how much SR can give me the feeling of belonging somewhere.
I spend the last hour reading through my old posts and I realised how much more positive I remember my relationship than it actually was. So many posts where I say that I am worried that he wants to break up with me, so many times where I complain about him not working on himself, not wanting to change for the relationship but expecting me to. So many times where I feel like I can't talk openly with him about how I feel cause it might upset him. I guess this wasn't a good relationship for me. And I also realised how much more help and stability I got from SR and even AA, I relied so much on posting here daily in the first few month of my recovery and it was such a big help. I kind of remembered it being mostly him supporting me and while he did a lot of that in the beginning he was by far not the only help. Which is good to know and it helped me to feel a little less lost now without him.
And it's touching to see that some people even remember me after all this time!
Free that are wise words of you about love... I am just holding on because I worry that I may no longer feel like I felt with him when things go well. And that maybe I will find a way to make this relationship work and go well all the time. It's quite much like we do it with the drink, isn't it? Only living for the good moments, denying the bad ones and fooling ourselves that one day we will be able to have only the good moments of the drinking without the hangovers, blackouts or withdrawals....
Thanks for your lovely words Willow. And thanks for pointing me towards that minions post. It's something I need to accept and understand. He may not have given me nothing but he couldn't give me the stability and reliability that I want. And his words always sounded better than his actions. And he definitely doesn't want to change for our relationship.
It made me quite sad to see in my old posts that I have been suffering so long in this relationship already, always hoping for a change. Thinking if I only get better, he would appreciate me more. It's a good reality check, kind of.
Venus, thank you for all your sweet words and also for remembering me!
I also study but I'm still stuck doing my bachelor. I think I'm not very good at studying. I just hope I'll be able to finish with some kind of success. I've already put in so much time but my motivation is low. To be honest I am doing it because my dad expects me to, it's not really what I want but then I don't even know what that would be...
Thanks Phoenix and hi goat!!
And thanks everyone for being here! <3
I had totally forgotten how much SR can give me the feeling of belonging somewhere.
I spend the last hour reading through my old posts and I realised how much more positive I remember my relationship than it actually was. So many posts where I say that I am worried that he wants to break up with me, so many times where I complain about him not working on himself, not wanting to change for the relationship but expecting me to. So many times where I feel like I can't talk openly with him about how I feel cause it might upset him. I guess this wasn't a good relationship for me. And I also realised how much more help and stability I got from SR and even AA, I relied so much on posting here daily in the first few month of my recovery and it was such a big help. I kind of remembered it being mostly him supporting me and while he did a lot of that in the beginning he was by far not the only help. Which is good to know and it helped me to feel a little less lost now without him.
And it's touching to see that some people even remember me after all this time!
Free that are wise words of you about love... I am just holding on because I worry that I may no longer feel like I felt with him when things go well. And that maybe I will find a way to make this relationship work and go well all the time. It's quite much like we do it with the drink, isn't it? Only living for the good moments, denying the bad ones and fooling ourselves that one day we will be able to have only the good moments of the drinking without the hangovers, blackouts or withdrawals....
Thanks for your lovely words Willow. And thanks for pointing me towards that minions post. It's something I need to accept and understand. He may not have given me nothing but he couldn't give me the stability and reliability that I want. And his words always sounded better than his actions. And he definitely doesn't want to change for our relationship.
It made me quite sad to see in my old posts that I have been suffering so long in this relationship already, always hoping for a change. Thinking if I only get better, he would appreciate me more. It's a good reality check, kind of.
Venus, thank you for all your sweet words and also for remembering me!
I also study but I'm still stuck doing my bachelor. I think I'm not very good at studying. I just hope I'll be able to finish with some kind of success. I've already put in so much time but my motivation is low. To be honest I am doing it because my dad expects me to, it's not really what I want but then I don't even know what that would be...
Thanks Phoenix and hi goat!!
And thanks everyone for being here! <3
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
Oh kevlar honey.....we care so much....and you are such a sweetheart....I am so sorry your bf has been so harsh....people pull back I guess.....I know that has happened to me.
And hey, I was studying for my dad too years back and that was not a bad thing....sometimes just moving forward is the best thing for us, even if we are not sure of our motivations. If it is bettering us, go for it I say.
Right....I have a webinar in 5 mins.... ♥♥♥♥
And hey, I was studying for my dad too years back and that was not a bad thing....sometimes just moving forward is the best thing for us, even if we are not sure of our motivations. If it is bettering us, go for it I say.
Right....I have a webinar in 5 mins....
♥♥♥♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2018
Posts: 1,137
Originally Posted by Plenny
Hi all.... I went to my 2nd meeting today and was approached afterwards by a woman who was way too pushy about sponsor now, steps now, and adamant that "just sitting" here was pointless. I am trying to not let it ruin my experience because I really need community and right now I just need to BE IN the rooms and 'feel' the structure before I jump into it ..... help!
I don't know how many meetings you have to choose from but I had to try different groups until I found one I can somewhat identify with and where I feel accepted without having to put on a show.
I know lots of people who don't work the steps or who started with them after weeks or months.
I also needed a lot of time to just be there and get a feeling for the whole approach, the structure, the literature before I tried it with a sponsor and the steps. I no longer have a sponsor, it became conflicting with my therapy because I often got contradictory advice and it ended up confusing me.
I really hope you'll find a meeting where people are less pushy and let you be you. In the end that's what every AA chip says "To thine own self be true!" And for the whole community part AA can be great!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: German Village, Columbus with my love ♥
Posts: 88,722
♥ This is a list of everyone who posted their commitment to stay sober in the last
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us! ♥
1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
DrakeCKC
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
Kris47
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
neferkamichael
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
Optimist4ever57
PaigeMasters
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Stubbs16
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
24 hours: 8 pm EDT ~ 7.59 pm EDT.
It is awesome to have every single one of you here with us!
♥1newcreation
abcowboy
Alysheba
Atlast9999
aussieblue
Awake61
Babs1234
badgerden
bandicoot2
BarbieKen
BrandNewDay11
Bubovski
Canadian Koala
CeeFarro
ChloeRose63
Coldfusion
county111111
CrossYourHeart
Daisybelle
Dee74
Delilah1
DrakeCKC
Endoftheday
erfra7
Finalcall
Free2bme888
FormerBeerLover
Gabe1980
gatorman
Gilmer
Goat
goodbyeevan
goose333
Hats
Hevyn
heyfly
Jack16
joandmelandhan
jsm273
julietUK
Kaneda8888
kenton
kevlarsjal2
Kris47
least
lilymaz
Lostmyoffswitch
lyddie
Mags1
Minion09
Marcutah1
neferkamichael
Neoo
Nic233
nmd
Optimist4ever57
PaigeMasters
PhoenixJ
Pinky1
Plenny
Quincy
quitter62
Rainman1
Rar
RedBerryJuniper
Saskia
Snufkin
soberista
SoberLeigh
stargazer016
Stubbs16
Sunflower79
Sunflowerlife
Sweetpeacan
tgirl
TheToddman
theVman31
tomls
vanaprastha
vassvik
venuscat
Vinificent
WaterOx
WeaverBird
Whendovescry
Willow68
wiscsober
YCDT2
Yixi
yukonm
Zanna
zeppodog
zoeydog
Onward together! ♥
July 20, 2018
snufkin ~ 1 week! ♥
Mags1 ~ 5 years!!!!! ♥
snufkin ~ 1 week! ♥
Mags1 ~ 5 years!!!!! ♥
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,748
KEV! I'm so sorry this happened to you! Ugh the perfect platitude (new vocabulary word): When it Rains it Pours! What a crap feeling to feel so alone while you are physically injured. Definitely we are here for you, and his making space only opens up a seat for someone who can truly support you. When I was at my very darkest point four years ago, no one stood up to be there for a while. It was a desperate time. I did not do well with the stress. I did not reach out to the right arenas. I really feel like I had to struggle through on my own to become strong on my own and become proud of myself for doing it on my own.... That was just my experience but I gained a lot of self love through that struggle.... Love you Kev and it's good to see you
Thank you all for chiming in on my AA mishap. I think I have lucked out to find a really good group. I think it was just that one lady, and I will blow her off. She has shared some very useful things which I do appreciate but I don't need to be told that my physically being in an AA meeting is a waste. Bah! I'll say that to her if she tries it again.
Thank you all for chiming in on my AA mishap. I think I have lucked out to find a really good group. I think it was just that one lady, and I will blow her off. She has shared some very useful things which I do appreciate but I don't need to be told that my physically being in an AA meeting is a waste. Bah! I'll say that to her if she tries it again.
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