Dee74

last part here
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...rt-4-a-20.html (Class of April 2018 Part 4)

D

snitch

Morning All!!!
Thanks for the new thread Dee

Daisy!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 That is sooo funny! They kept whacking the heat up so you'd stip off hahahahaha! Do u still see them?? I do love stories like this 😂
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Donny did you get to a meeting?

Nichole I hope the cconcert goes well. I went to see The Killers in concert last November and I was sober and you know what? I had the BEST time. I have been to loads of concerts and literally cannot remember them 😞 I remember everythingg about this one, I was singing and dancing and it was great not to mention how much money I saved, the wine in there was about £10 ($15) a glass!

Vipe you sound really positive. 🤗🤗

We had a sleepover at my friends last night and watched The Greatest Showman. Has anyone seen it? It's fantastic! We had popcorn and I didn't think about drinking once! Today it is fathers day in the UK so we are going to my mum and dad's.

Have a good day all.

Donnyb

2

Hi everyone, just a quick check in as I have been with my girlfriend yesterday and packing up our bikes today but will check in later. I went to a meeting and felt kind of ackward but also refreshing. Everyone seemed nice and welcoming but I just kind of kept to myself. I know I need to keep working on me, so I am definitely going back, and another meeting tomorrow at the same place. I will be back on later and felt great waking up fresh. Happy Father’s Day to any dads, and 💜💜💜 to all of you!!

Viperidae

Hi guys! Beautiful day in New England. Nice and WARM.

This intervention thing is happening with my family member and I need to be there. I mean it’s hapening in like 5 minutes. Covert action!! Nervous

It’s actually reminding me of my flaws. I’ll be fine. Talk later.


Viper

Daisybelle

22.50
72

Good evening my lovely April shower of friends,
I hope you've all had a great weekend. I'm back home now after my overnight stay with our friends and happy to report that there were no scary shenanigans. We had a good weekend and our friends looked well, much better than when we last saw them. The husband's speech has improved dramatically after his stroke, he still has a problem with numbers, but he has come a long way.
We went out for dinner last night and I felt a bit out of it when our friends wife ordered herself a bottle of prosecco and had it in an ice bucket next to me at the table and the men were drinking beers. It was the same thing at lunch time today too.
For the first time ever last night I told someone that I am an alcoholic. The husband of the couple we went to see asked me if I wanted a drink and I asked for tonic water, he asked how come I didn't drink any more because I used to and the words just popped out of my mouth. I said 'because I'm an alcoholic and I'm not a nice person when I drink.' His reply was that I was funny when I drank. I told him that I might have started off funny, but I ended up nasty and I'm better off without it, one is too much and a bottle is never enough. I'm not convinced that he believed me! However, his wife was talking to me today and asked how hard it is to stop and how to do it, as she is drinking a bottle of wine during the day and more in the evenings. I told her that for me the only way is to stop completely, it's all or nothing. She said that she doesn't think she could possibly stop completely, she will cut it down gradually. I did explain that doing that doesn't work but she is convinced it will. Time will tell, but I think we all know what will happen there. I did tell her that she can phone me any time if she wants to talk about it and that I will help her in any way I can.

Thanks for the new thread Dee x

Suze, it wasn't funny at the time, but I can laugh about it now. We saw them in passing a few month back, but they kept their heads down and so did we.
I haven't seen 'the greatest showman' yet but I believe its very good. My grandson is going to his friends birthday party in couple of weeks and they are going to have a movie night with that film and party food after. Should be good.

Hi Donny boy, I'm so proud of you for going to that meeting, just give it a try, if it's not for you then fine, there will be something else.xx

Hi Vipes, You will be fine. Just breathe and relax. xx

Tomorrow I am going to Chester with my G.daughter's class, we are going to the museum to research Romans. I'm really looking forward, it will be the first time I've been into school since my sons control mission took place.

Back tomorrow, sleep well

xxxx

Viperidae

That went very well.

I’m going to eat and watch some HBO. V

Jewel72

Hello Class,
I am struggling and extremely disappointed in myself. Last weekend’s drinking has lead me back to the obsessive thoughts and “1 more night.....1 more night...etc.” thinking. I have to cut it off once and for all. I tbought I was there. Apparently not. What has been your best technique? I’m not really an AA type, so looking for more reads about AVRT or something like that. I guess I’m looking for a magic answer which I know doesn’t exist. This is just tough stuff and I wish it weren’t so.

Dee74

Glad it went well Vipe

I just used SR Quit - it was hard going, especially in the beginning, but eventually the obsessive thinking about drinking faded.

I tried to keep busy as much as I could - but the bottom line was drinking was no longer a viable option so I had to find other means of dealing with life.

I've always liked the sound of SMART Recovery
https://www.smartrecovery.org/get-started/
D

Jewel72

Thank you, Dee. I’m going to go read that link. Did you find you needed chat on SR, or did you post in threads only? You are an inspiration. Thank you for being here and serving this community.

xxxNICHOLExxx

want to say howdy y’all hopefully all is well thinking about y’all and staying strong!!!!!
Well went to concert and failed I’ll be back when I’m ready to start back over

Donnyb

Hi All, hope everyone had a great day!
Mum, very proud of you for fessing up and admitting. I am sure it wasn’t easy and also to stay sober but you did💜
V, you too, I am sure that was awkward but you did it and in the process help someone else. That is a day well spent as far as I’m
concerned 👍🏼
Nichole, glad you made it home and ok. Told you to eat!! I’m sure at a country concert they had all kind of great BBQ😊. No worries just stay close.💜
I am exhausted. We rode our bikes all afternoon into the evening and it was sooo hot out, but felt good and happy day with my girlfriend. It’s also supposed to be 95f here tomorrow so I am working my college guys early then we will take it easy. In the summer I have my 8 hr shift and lunch in by 2:30 so I will be home and in the a.c by 2:45 so I will take that!!
Love to all of my April peeps and will post tomorrow evening 💜

snitch

Hi Quit
Sorry to hear you are struggling.
I have the Rational Recovery book in AVRT and I found it very helpful and I use some of the techniques in it. I was very interested in SMART as well but the meetings in my area coincided with school pick up and just for me personally I need some f2f support which is why I go to AA.. 2 books that really helped me were William Porter's Alcohol Explained and Jason Vale KICK the Drink Easily.

snitch

Well done Donny! I am so proud of you 😊😊 just go back and see if it is for you at least you will have tried. Sounds like you had an amazing day with your girlfriend and you didn't need any alcohol to enjoy it!!

Dee74

I hope you reconsider staying away Nichole. SR is for people struggling.

D

snitch

Hi everyone else hope you all had a great weekend.
We had a lovely weekend but I am discovering alcohol is not my only addiction. Crappy food and excessive shopping are both up there too. Anything that seems to give me an instant buzz. I feel like there is an empty hole inside of me which I am clearly trying to fill but with the wrong things. Drinking alcohol numbed that and made me forget but now the alcohol has been put down I am left with me and with that hole which I have now started to try to fill with food and shopping!!!
So I need to make lots of changes in my life but slow and steady, I need to remember that sobriety and a new way of living is a journey not a destination.
Each day is a new day and a new chance for me to make the right choices and to learn and grow and to find a new way of living that will bring me joy and happiness. So here is to a new day for all of us .
😊🌄💛🌈

Viperidae

Hi folks! Look like they screwed up the 100 degree forecast but 87 and sun are amazing and fine by me!! I feel really good. When I physically don’t feel like garbage my desire to drink is less or nothing. If I go away to someplace hot, I drink nothing. It’s the opposite of a regular person on vacation. Warm sun and clear ocean makes me want sobriety. I was going to go to Costa Rica one time and mentioned it in Day Program and said, I’d have a break from booze and it wouldn’t be around where I was going. The Social worker was quick to make a idioc joke, “Oh I think you’ll find booze in Costa Rica.” First, not at a remote research station 400 miles from no where, you ****!! Second I don’t drink when I get out of here.

Another therapist once tried to tell me, ‘oh you always have something to blame for not getter my on with your life and everything else. Like oh it’s cold and dark, or it’s snowing.’ Yes moron that is THE PROBLEM. That was the last time or one of the last times I saw that idiot. I once said on SR that the time for me to get sober is summer, that’s it’s virtually impossible in winter. Dee responded that you can get sober any time and anywhere. That’s true. But I said “virtually impossible” and “me.” I’ll say this, Dee is totally right, but for me there’s 2 months of the year that I feel good and that’s the time to make the jump! Also I have the utmost respect for Dee.

Snitch, as for the other addictions, I’d say many of us are exactly the same. I’m don’t think addiction is ‘booze specific’ for most of us. We’re just addicts.

My life coach keeps saying, “what do you really crave?” It’s not alcohol, it’s a different life. For me adventure and adrenaline. There reasons people sail around the globe or ride competitive enduro dirt bikes or sky dive. Scuba diving explorers, and combat correspondents.

My parents don’t like the fact that my brother has a motorcycle. Every spare day he has, he’s off 100 miles away before 9a.m. on that thing. It brings him peace and joy. Can you die on it? Yes. Would you rather die from alcohol poisoning, or suicide in your own house? Hell No!

I’m not going to let the little voices of the uniformed influence me ever again. Eff them!!

Snitch I have the habit of getting myself nice things. I don’t spend large amounts and most of the time is spent shopping, not buying. I rarely actually buy something. But I spend money on some things I don’t need or could be considered luxuries. Probably once a month. I do get pleasure out of them.

Viper off to the heat of the day. Talk later

Viper

bluesymusey

Hello Aprils!

I need to catch up on posts from weekend. Spent time reorganizing closets, upgraded my phone and spent time getting that all set up, working a bit, etc..

This morning I'm having a hard time with some old ghosts that keep coming back. In particular, a friend (who's also an ex) who cuts me out of his life, then comes back and if I don't respond to him in 24 hours, he says I'm not a good friend and cuts me off again!! Then he showed up at my door with flowers and said he was sorry (granted I was in the bath so I didn't see him face to face), I said I appreciated the gesture, etc but left it at that. This morning he's texting me again and I said I thought this pattern of coming in and out of my life was extremely unhealthy for both of us and I wished him well.

A part of me feels good setting these boundaries, a part of me feels guilty. Overall, I feel less stress NOT talking to him. I have another friend (the one who throws suicide threats around like a beach ball) and I feel life is less complicated without her too. I am looking to raise my energetic vibration and feel I have to let go of certain people in order to do that.

It's just what feels right, but why do I feel so guilty???

Anyone else want to share their experiences with setting boundaries in early sobriety??

Much love,
Blusey

Strawberry18

Hello my sweethearts ! Day 48 I think !!!
Feeling mega tired but plodding on ok!
Wake me up when September ends.
Still can't believe I'm here still with no craving. Still not lost any weight ! Nooooopooooooooo
Has anyone else lost much ???
Sending sobor vibes all round !

Daisybelle

Hi Aprils

Just checking in to say a very late goodnight. I hope you are all well and sober and had a good Monday.
I had a great day, I went to a museum in Chester with my g.daughter's class, my first school voluntary work since March, we were researching the Romans. All the children dressed up in Roman army amour and marched to the ampitheatre where they staged battles, then back to the museum to research on how the Roman's lived and what they built. It was most interesting .

I'm glad you're family meeting went well Viper. Make the most of that beautiful weather you're having and send some over here please.

Hi Quitnow and I'm sorry you're struggling but please don't be disappointed in yourself, you're trying hard, it is hard, you had a slip but you came back and you are working on staying sober again and that's something to be proud of. Don't be so hard on yourself.
At the moment I'm just using S.R and sheer determination, I read everything I can here, the A.A stuff, I check the forums and I read a lot of posts and the blogs, especially the blogs from people who have been sober a long time. I post on the gratitude thread every night and the 24 hour thread, I also keep a journal of how I am, how I feel, etc. I'm very focused at the moment but I am also aware and on my guard in case that focus starts to slip, but if it does I will then seek further help. It is tough stuff, be it can be done. Just take it one day at a time. It's just for today.

Hi Nichole, sorry you slipped but I hope to see you back here pronto. xx

Thanks Donny boy. 95f, wow that's a bit hot, especially when you work outdoors, make sure you use plenty of sun protection,wear a hat and drink plenty of water. Good idea to start work very early and finish early in that heat. Your day of cycling sounds fun, glad you enjoyed yourself.

Oh Suze, crappy food, tell me about it. I promise myself every day that I am not going to eat rubbish and eat healthily, but no, I'm shoving all sorts of rubbish down my throat. Its GOT to stop. I've been saying it for weeks, but this week I AM joining a slimming club. Thankfully, I'm not too bad with shopping, though I suppose I could work on it, lol.

Hi Bluesey, sounds like you had quite a productive weekend.
Does your friend/ex have narcissistic traits by any chance? I've done a lot of research on narcissism and sociopath traits and that sounds a bit like what they call 'hoovering.' It is called hoovering because it is a situation where a person literally sucks someone back into a dysfunctional relationship once the victim found their way out. Google it and see what you think and if that's the case you will be so much better off without him in your life.
I'm sorry but I've got no experiences to share about boundaries in early sobriety as I'm still working on setting them so I'll be interested in any advice from anyone too.

Wow Strawberry, day 48, how awesome. How is your son? Is he home now? Nope, I haven't lost any weight unfortunately, that's my next mission. xx

I'm off to bed now. Back tomorrow. Much love to you all. xxx

Daisybelle

06.45
74

Good morning sleepy head Aprils

Have a good Tuesday.

I'll check in later. xxxxx

Thought for the day... It's not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself and to make your happiness a priority. It's a necessity.