Class Of March 2018 Support Thread - Part 4
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Wow, great tips trach, thank you! I have a book called "how not to kill your houseplants", I should consult it more.
Glad you're there and not feeling any urges LHW. Only 5 (or 6) more days to a month!
Congrats for 10 years Plenny! Was this a recent anniversary? Cocaine is a hell of a drug and I hope to have 10 years in 9 or so years.
Glad you're there and not feeling any urges LHW. Only 5 (or 6) more days to a month!
Congrats for 10 years Plenny! Was this a recent anniversary? Cocaine is a hell of a drug and I hope to have 10 years in 9 or so years.
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Originally Posted by Plenny 
Dee, how are you? I’m sorry to hear that you haven’t been feeling well. I hope you will take time to recharge, we love you and need you but it must be taxing to be here for so many of us if you aren’t feeling well. You are in my thoughts, and that is often! I’ve been so grateful to be able to touch base with you off and on over these past 5 years!
All fit now tho
D
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I did have a bad wine craving while out to dinner earlier but I pushed through it. Just the scenery, likely. Restaurant on the ocean, music, nice wine list. Didn’t last long. I ordered iced tea and am glad I did!
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Hmm that sounds like lovely scenery that you'll be able to recall later with all the senses. I think iced tea was the best choice.
Tomorrow is the concert with my friend. Hoping to have her over first for dinner and then head there. Pretty excited, I have loved this artist for a decade, pretty grateful to celebrate 4 months this way (the 17th is what my sponsor calls my "real" sobriety date). Either way, sobriety should be celebrated every day and I am looking forward to it.
Looking alot less forward to Thursday and starting back at the hospital. Positive thoughts and visualization are the name of the game this week.
Tomorrow is the concert with my friend. Hoping to have her over first for dinner and then head there. Pretty excited, I have loved this artist for a decade, pretty grateful to celebrate 4 months this way (the 17th is what my sponsor calls my "real" sobriety date). Either way, sobriety should be celebrated every day and I am looking forward to it.
Looking alot less forward to Thursday and starting back at the hospital. Positive thoughts and visualization are the name of the game this week.
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Truth on remembering the scenery GBE 
Also, something someone in the threads said recently finally hit me and I understand. I don't know if it was one of you, GBE, JT, LHW, Trach, Dee..... Anyway it always astounds me that I can be so daft but sometimes it takes me YEARS to wrap my mind around some concepts.
"I never regret going to bed sober!" it finally sunk in. I don't! That thought has been getting me through some cravings. If I say something enough or read it enough, it becomes a truth. That is why we have to be so wary of advertising and the messages we expose ourselves to repeatedly.....
In other news I started watching "Mom" on Hulu. It was on CBS here in the states. It's a sitcom that centers around recovery and it's great. I do recommend it
Also, something someone in the threads said recently finally hit me and I understand. I don't know if it was one of you, GBE, JT, LHW, Trach, Dee..... Anyway it always astounds me that I can be so daft but sometimes it takes me YEARS to wrap my mind around some concepts.
"I never regret going to bed sober!" it finally sunk in. I don't! That thought has been getting me through some cravings. If I say something enough or read it enough, it becomes a truth. That is why we have to be so wary of advertising and the messages we expose ourselves to repeatedly.....
In other news I started watching "Mom" on Hulu. It was on CBS here in the states. It's a sitcom that centers around recovery and it's great. I do recommend it
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Very true, Plenny. Very true. It is funny how my wine craving yesterday had nothing to do with my craving the taste of wine, like one might crave a taste of chocolate. It was as all about the image, the vision, the thought that while sitting there at the outdoor restaurant on the water, it would be nice to sip on a nice Chardonnay. So why not sip on an iced tea, which is what I ended up doing. It is all marketing and years of conditioning.
Today is my last day of visiting my friends before going off to my meeting tomorrow and I’ll head home tomorrow night. The 30-day mark is in clear sight now. 4 days away.
Today is my last day of visiting my friends before going off to my meeting tomorrow and I’ll head home tomorrow night. The 30-day mark is in clear sight now. 4 days away.
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Just went to lunch with my friend. On the way to the restaurant she said “remember last time we came here you were so hungover you could hardly hold your head up?” Yep, how could I forget. Ugh! A good reminder as to why this is all so important and I’m horrified she remembered.
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Woke up in a funk leftover from a funk last night. No reason probably just whatever I've been processing lately.
GBE I hope the concert was fun! I need to go see more music.
I'm curious about your "real" sober date, what do you mean by that? Is it the day you detox? The day you make the decision?
I had been counting days in the beginning but I stopped again. I felt like I was still coveting drinking for a while, like three weeks. At the end of my vacation, something in my mind changed and I suddenly felt "sober" and accepted that and finally wrapped my mind around it. That was on the 9 of July. A month or so after my physical start date. I don't know what I think my start date is, I guess I will make it the month of June 2018.... I just felt sauced and hung over for so long I did not feel sober
On that note, I don't think I answered your question about the cocaine quit date, I only know that it was raining, I was locked in a bathroom with my cousin, I was not happy with myself or my behavior and it is embarrassing to think about, and three days or so later, I decided to finally put the nail in that coffin. It was sometime between mid 2007 and mid 2008. Cocaine was something that came up in my life after I had beaten lots of other substances in my youth. I had a drug free few years, then when I was about 21, I became a heavy user. Five years later I kicked it. I was so concerned about my drug use for most of my life I did not have the energy to cut out the alcohol. I was still in a continual state of grieving and lots of relationship problems and family issues and I relied on the drink to get me through. And it did. But I don't need any of it anymore. It's an amazing feeling. I think that feeling of not needing kicked in on July 9, after we went tubing and I had such a good time. I think I might make that the day I remember.
I've planned sort of an ambitious day for myself tomorrow, we'll see if I make it...
There's an AA meeting in my neighborhood at a coffee shop I like but haven't been to in a while. It's at 7am! I kind of like the idea of getting up and out before everyone else, and going to a meeting so early... I have it in my mind to try.
Then, I am going to the home of the sous chef I mentioned earlier, to make dinner for her and her wife. They are both sober, have been for about eight years. I wanted to spend more time socially with sober friends. Another friend is joining me, she might have some drinks, but that is up to her. I consider this friend an ally and she has a good understanding of where I'm at and addiction in general. I think it'll be good. I still kind of hope that she doesn't drink. I'm looking forward to it
GBE I hope the concert was fun! I need to go see more music.
I'm curious about your "real" sober date, what do you mean by that? Is it the day you detox? The day you make the decision?
I had been counting days in the beginning but I stopped again. I felt like I was still coveting drinking for a while, like three weeks. At the end of my vacation, something in my mind changed and I suddenly felt "sober" and accepted that and finally wrapped my mind around it. That was on the 9 of July. A month or so after my physical start date. I don't know what I think my start date is, I guess I will make it the month of June 2018.... I just felt sauced and hung over for so long I did not feel sober
On that note, I don't think I answered your question about the cocaine quit date, I only know that it was raining, I was locked in a bathroom with my cousin, I was not happy with myself or my behavior and it is embarrassing to think about, and three days or so later, I decided to finally put the nail in that coffin. It was sometime between mid 2007 and mid 2008. Cocaine was something that came up in my life after I had beaten lots of other substances in my youth. I had a drug free few years, then when I was about 21, I became a heavy user. Five years later I kicked it. I was so concerned about my drug use for most of my life I did not have the energy to cut out the alcohol. I was still in a continual state of grieving and lots of relationship problems and family issues and I relied on the drink to get me through. And it did. But I don't need any of it anymore. It's an amazing feeling. I think that feeling of not needing kicked in on July 9, after we went tubing and I had such a good time. I think I might make that the day I remember.
I've planned sort of an ambitious day for myself tomorrow, we'll see if I make it...
There's an AA meeting in my neighborhood at a coffee shop I like but haven't been to in a while. It's at 7am! I kind of like the idea of getting up and out before everyone else, and going to a meeting so early... I have it in my mind to try.
Then, I am going to the home of the sous chef I mentioned earlier, to make dinner for her and her wife. They are both sober, have been for about eight years. I wanted to spend more time socially with sober friends. Another friend is joining me, she might have some drinks, but that is up to her. I consider this friend an ally and she has a good understanding of where I'm at and addiction in general. I think it'll be good. I still kind of hope that she doesn't drink. I'm looking forward to it
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The concert was amazing. They talk about spiritual awakening in AA and think I had one. It was hard when we were waiting for her to start, all I could smell was beer and my friend was drinking too but as soon as she started to sing it all melted away and it was just a ton of people caught in the moment for a few hours. Her songs mean so incredibly much to me and her voice was absolutely perfect and the venue was intimate and amazing and the energy was positive and contagious. I am going to plan on seeing her again and maybe go to more concerts.
I got a speeding ticket on the way there and it was amazing to be sober and not scared when I got pulled over.
Plenny I quit drinking on March 4th and I stopped smoking weed at my sponsor's suggestion on March 17th. So even though I feel my real date is the 4th, I wait to pick up chips and celebrate with AA people until the 17th. Which is dumb to me but I can't change their minds about the issue.
A meeting in a coffee shop??? That's so cool! All the ones I go to are in churches. So glad you don't struggle with cocaine anymore Plenny. I was never a regular user but it definitely damaged relationships, I made poor decisions on it and wasted alot of time and money. Congrats again
110 is amazing last chance!!! Thank you for checking in! We may be a small class but we are strong in spirit <3 So proud of us for hanging in there and fighting the sober fight.
I got a speeding ticket on the way there and it was amazing to be sober and not scared when I got pulled over.
Plenny I quit drinking on March 4th and I stopped smoking weed at my sponsor's suggestion on March 17th. So even though I feel my real date is the 4th, I wait to pick up chips and celebrate with AA people until the 17th. Which is dumb to me but I can't change their minds about the issue.
A meeting in a coffee shop??? That's so cool! All the ones I go to are in churches. So glad you don't struggle with cocaine anymore Plenny. I was never a regular user but it definitely damaged relationships, I made poor decisions on it and wasted alot of time and money. Congrats again
110 is amazing last chance!!! Thank you for checking in! We may be a small class but we are strong in spirit <3 So proud of us for hanging in there and fighting the sober fight.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Hi all!
I am stuck in the airport at the moment. My 5:00pm direct flight was cancelled at 9am THIS MORNING due to the projected weather on the East Coast. Talk about overreacting to a weather report. Geez. So I had a few hours to kill and now I am booked on a connection that doesn’t get me back home till after midnight. So crazy. The airlines are just too big these days.
I was craving that wine big time while looking for a place to grab a bite to eat in the terminal. Nothing but bars and fast food.. So instead of eating I got a Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato (yeah, I know, the sugar is high, but better than wine). At some point here I have to forgo the sugar too.
Speaking of wine, the restaurant we went to last night announced their happy hour specials with gusto! The waitress said “and our wine pours are nearly half a bottle for only $6. 14 ounces!” A half a bottle! There was a group being so loud and obnoxious (clearly they had a few) that we left before ordering and found another place.
In the past, I’d be all over that one. But, I had another iced tea. Have to stop with that and go back to club soda. The caffeine is keeping me up all night going to the bathroom.
Well, they are announcing that we are finally boarding. Hope you all have a good evening . I am so tired of air travel, but happy to have a job I really love!
I am stuck in the airport at the moment. My 5:00pm direct flight was cancelled at 9am THIS MORNING due to the projected weather on the East Coast. Talk about overreacting to a weather report. Geez. So I had a few hours to kill and now I am booked on a connection that doesn’t get me back home till after midnight. So crazy. The airlines are just too big these days.
I was craving that wine big time while looking for a place to grab a bite to eat in the terminal. Nothing but bars and fast food.. So instead of eating I got a Starbucks Iced Caramel Macchiato (yeah, I know, the sugar is high, but better than wine). At some point here I have to forgo the sugar too.
Speaking of wine, the restaurant we went to last night announced their happy hour specials with gusto! The waitress said “and our wine pours are nearly half a bottle for only $6. 14 ounces!” A half a bottle! There was a group being so loud and obnoxious (clearly they had a few) that we left before ordering and found another place.
In the past, I’d be all over that one. But, I had another iced tea. Have to stop with that and go back to club soda. The caffeine is keeping me up all night going to the bathroom.
Well, they are announcing that we are finally boarding. Hope you all have a good evening . I am so tired of air travel, but happy to have a job I really love!
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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Hi LHW yikes that is gratuitous and irresponsible pouring, if I may say so as a service industry professional. Seriously no wonder people all over the world think we are such barbarians with happy hours like that we really obviously have zero appreciation for craftsmanship or the awesome powers of the substance. It really is just straight up about getting drunk. I'd feel like I got punched in the face after drinking there. Some people should not have those kinds of deals made so readily available! I really really hate that 1/2 bottle glass thing..... Sorry for the rant but I remember being drunk at a kid's birthday party in Quebec, where wine was readily available and free flowing but I was the only one smashed because I was the American dummy who couldn't hold my wine like a grown up. Now I know that even with impeccable taste and respect, I couldn't have helped myself because I am an alcoholic American to boot. Anyhoo...
Y'all, I went to my first meeting this morning. I woke up at 6:15 and made it to the early morning open discussion whatever they call it, and it was really good. I don't think I mentioned this before, but there is a huge cocktail convention all week into the weekend, and there are bartenders and industry people from all over here in my city. I realized that I was feeling the tug yesterday when one of our liquor reps (who I am friendly with) came in and joined our work meeting about the event. This is kind of what finally got me into a meeting. I do not want to drink today, tomorrow, through this festival, through any event, I don't want to do it. My goals are so much more important to me than having a drink.
The group was larger than I expected, about 30 people. In this town, I honestly didn't think many people would come to a 7am AA meeting! But the circle was full and spilling over into the next room! Everyone was so receptive and generous with information. Some people approached me after, and some people gave me space. I think someday if I am a seasoned member I will choose to give people space. But I loved feeling welcomed. I got the phone numbers of all of the women in the group. I am so grateful for these numbers. I've never phoned a friend when I needed help with a craving or a crappy day or a trigger. So, this is a helpful tool. Suddenly I am overflowing with options. I have some friends at work, and some new people to get to know from the rooms. I still do not think I will even start the steps or get a sponsor, because I need time to process this next level, but I knew I just needed community badly. So the first thing I needed to do was get in a meeting. I am so happy I did. There are also a lot of people in the group who use "The Universe" as their higher power which I am happy to get on board with.
I woke up feeling confident about my choice, then when I got to the coffee shop (cool right? I love the coffee too there's a big banner in the AA room that says "Good Coffee For Once" lol) I saw some really good looking people who knew each other's names and I felt like a fat loser and I knew they were going to be in the meeting and I did think about leaving right away, but I stayed. They were very nice to me by the way. There were people from all different backgrounds with such surprising stories, and I really could just go to meetings and listen every day. I did speak to introduce myself and I was too caffeinated and I started rambling and they did gently let me know it was time to stop hahahaha. I have so much to say as I'm sure you all know how I am when I want to talk. But I did listen and it was so amazing to be able to relate to so many people.
Things that stuck with me:
One Day At A Time
"We are all on a down elevator going to the same place but you choose when you get of at which floor and for how long"
"I knew I couldn't do this alone anymore so I came here"
"At my first meeting I heard from big wigs and bums and the stories aligned"
"I don't do things I don't want to do and I kept driving here so I must want to be here"
"I quit drinking when I was 30 and I'm so lucky"
"She's 75 years old and she just quit but if she sticks with it her story will be so valuable to the other girls in the house"
Lots to think about. Everyone's experience has value and changes someone's life when they are touched. Really a wonderful morning. Thanks for keeping up with me y'all I am on a roll with the posting lately.
Y'all, I went to my first meeting this morning. I woke up at 6:15 and made it to the early morning open discussion whatever they call it, and it was really good. I don't think I mentioned this before, but there is a huge cocktail convention all week into the weekend, and there are bartenders and industry people from all over here in my city. I realized that I was feeling the tug yesterday when one of our liquor reps (who I am friendly with) came in and joined our work meeting about the event. This is kind of what finally got me into a meeting. I do not want to drink today, tomorrow, through this festival, through any event, I don't want to do it. My goals are so much more important to me than having a drink.
The group was larger than I expected, about 30 people. In this town, I honestly didn't think many people would come to a 7am AA meeting! But the circle was full and spilling over into the next room! Everyone was so receptive and generous with information. Some people approached me after, and some people gave me space. I think someday if I am a seasoned member I will choose to give people space. But I loved feeling welcomed. I got the phone numbers of all of the women in the group. I am so grateful for these numbers. I've never phoned a friend when I needed help with a craving or a crappy day or a trigger. So, this is a helpful tool. Suddenly I am overflowing with options. I have some friends at work, and some new people to get to know from the rooms. I still do not think I will even start the steps or get a sponsor, because I need time to process this next level, but I knew I just needed community badly. So the first thing I needed to do was get in a meeting. I am so happy I did. There are also a lot of people in the group who use "The Universe" as their higher power which I am happy to get on board with.
I woke up feeling confident about my choice, then when I got to the coffee shop (cool right? I love the coffee too there's a big banner in the AA room that says "Good Coffee For Once" lol) I saw some really good looking people who knew each other's names and I felt like a fat loser and I knew they were going to be in the meeting and I did think about leaving right away, but I stayed. They were very nice to me by the way. There were people from all different backgrounds with such surprising stories, and I really could just go to meetings and listen every day. I did speak to introduce myself and I was too caffeinated and I started rambling and they did gently let me know it was time to stop hahahaha. I have so much to say as I'm sure you all know how I am when I want to talk. But I did listen and it was so amazing to be able to relate to so many people.
Things that stuck with me:
One Day At A Time
"We are all on a down elevator going to the same place but you choose when you get of at which floor and for how long"
"I knew I couldn't do this alone anymore so I came here"
"At my first meeting I heard from big wigs and bums and the stories aligned"
"I don't do things I don't want to do and I kept driving here so I must want to be here"
"I quit drinking when I was 30 and I'm so lucky"
"She's 75 years old and she just quit but if she sticks with it her story will be so valuable to the other girls in the house"
Lots to think about. Everyone's experience has value and changes someone's life when they are touched. Really a wonderful morning. Thanks for keeping up with me y'all I am on a roll with the posting lately.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Thanks for sharing that Plenny! I’m glad you got something out of the meeting and I also think it was a very good idea given the cocktail convention in town.
I didn’t get home till after 2:00 am this morning from my trip due to more flight delays after I last posted. So frustrating. I was so worn out, I just realized that I was wearing my casual dress on inside out all day. OMG. HA HA. Can only imagine what the folks in the grocery store, drug store and gas station were all thinking. Very clear it was on inside out. Geez. I need to rest. Ha ha.
I didn’t get home till after 2:00 am this morning from my trip due to more flight delays after I last posted. So frustrating. I was so worn out, I just realized that I was wearing my casual dress on inside out all day. OMG. HA HA. Can only imagine what the folks in the grocery store, drug store and gas station were all thinking. Very clear it was on inside out. Geez. I need to rest. Ha ha.
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Join Date: Jul 2013
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that is hilarious LHWJust got home from cooking dinner at the sous chef's house, they loved everything. Pork chops with big green beans from my friend's garden, bacon, red onion, peaches, and pomegranate molasses. Our other coworker/friend made a blueberry skillet cake, it was really good. She did have a few beers. She was worried that she was messing up my night with my sober friends but I think she was behaving just fine and being supportive. Sometimes she can be abrasive but that's just her. I just told her that I really needed her there because honestly I can not be the only guest, I feel a lot of anxiety having the attention just on me and I really am not prepared to have that much conversation. I like having someone there to take the focus off me and contribute stories and anecdotes, etc. She was great. It was noticeable when she got a buzz, but yeah I know how that is.
I'm pretty tired from the long day. I'm going to try to get some sleep.
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Join Date: Sep 2017
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Good Morning all....
I was more tired yesterday than I thought. Not only did I wear my dress inside out all day, but when I got the coffee maker ready last night (it's on a timer for the morning), I neglected to put the coffee in! So when I got up this morning, expecting my usual hot coffee, I had a pot of hot water instead. Ha ha ha. Not funny at the time, though. :-(
Sure does show you what sleep deprivation and stress can do to your mind. Wow. I almost never do that. Getting my coffee pot ready the night before is a long time ritual. Something must have distracted me as that process is on auto pilot.
Tomorrow is my Day 30 and I should be feeling happy but I'm not. Not sure what that is all about. Maybe it is now the un-anesthetized emotions out in full force. Depression. Sadness. Anyone experinece this? I should be very happy - it's been a long time since I got to 30 days. But instead I am feeling bleecchhhhh. And of course I could blame in on the holdover of the stressful travel day and not getting home until the wee hours of the morning.
I have some "friends" coming over tomorrow night after work to see my house. Another couple who used to be friends with me and my husband who basically disappeared after he died. I've written about that before. Anyway, I saw them at an affair recently and she kept bugging me about coming to see my new place, so tomorrow is the day. I'm trying hard to forgive people for their actions back then.
They are social drinkers and I emailed to ask them what they like to drink and she wrote back "we like full bodied red wines and crisp light chardonnays. Or beer." Hmmmmmm. Add those to my shopping list for today. I will already have my club soda and cranberry poured in my glass when they arrive, so there will be no questions asked. She is a real "busybody" and I don't want to deal with her questioning me.
Well, off to get some work done. Everyone have a great day!
PS - let's add to the list that I just did a load of laundry in my washer without turning the water back on. Geez...
I was more tired yesterday than I thought. Not only did I wear my dress inside out all day, but when I got the coffee maker ready last night (it's on a timer for the morning), I neglected to put the coffee in! So when I got up this morning, expecting my usual hot coffee, I had a pot of hot water instead. Ha ha ha. Not funny at the time, though. :-(
Sure does show you what sleep deprivation and stress can do to your mind. Wow. I almost never do that. Getting my coffee pot ready the night before is a long time ritual. Something must have distracted me as that process is on auto pilot.
Tomorrow is my Day 30 and I should be feeling happy but I'm not. Not sure what that is all about. Maybe it is now the un-anesthetized emotions out in full force. Depression. Sadness. Anyone experinece this? I should be very happy - it's been a long time since I got to 30 days. But instead I am feeling bleecchhhhh. And of course I could blame in on the holdover of the stressful travel day and not getting home until the wee hours of the morning.
I have some "friends" coming over tomorrow night after work to see my house. Another couple who used to be friends with me and my husband who basically disappeared after he died. I've written about that before. Anyway, I saw them at an affair recently and she kept bugging me about coming to see my new place, so tomorrow is the day. I'm trying hard to forgive people for their actions back then.
They are social drinkers and I emailed to ask them what they like to drink and she wrote back "we like full bodied red wines and crisp light chardonnays. Or beer." Hmmmmmm. Add those to my shopping list for today. I will already have my club soda and cranberry poured in my glass when they arrive, so there will be no questions asked. She is a real "busybody" and I don't want to deal with her questioning me.
Well, off to get some work done. Everyone have a great day!
PS - let's add to the list that I just did a load of laundry in my washer without turning the water back on. Geez...
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