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Class Of March 2018 Support Thread - Part 4

Old 06-26-2018, 05:58 AM
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Thanks for the welcome back! Today is my new Day 1. There was nothing that happened exactly that triggered me to drink. It was just another round of the same old cravings that hit me back at around the 2 month point. Day after day, it just felt endless. I was just tired I guess of the effort of beating them back. Still, it would have gone away eventually. It was just dumb of me. Dumb, dumb, dumb. But I am back and I am committed to racking up those sober days again. I will hit 104 again, and more. I just keep thinking that I can be 6 months sober at Christmas. Anyway, I'm going on vacation tomorrow for a couple weeks so I won't be around, but I will be sober!
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Old 06-26-2018, 07:24 AM
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Well good to see you back. I know how that goes. It’s a process and you’re tipping the scales in your favor.

Speaking of vacation, I just realized that I’ll be way up in the mountains and supposedly no internet or reception. I might be out of touch for a while. I just don’t want to make anyone worry if I am not around it’s going to be just about two weeks! Which to me is an eternity without checking in with you all. DJTM’s mom is sober, she was in AA for years. I am really thankful for her on these family trips. I feel like I have a teammate and I just have to remember this family is no stranger to alcoholism so my choices are not foreign and they rarely question my motives. They just know the struggle and have always been very accepting.

DJTM did come over last night, and I realized what a lightweight he is. Two regular strength beers and he’s silly and passing out. It was annoying. This might sound stupid but I’m just really glad he’s not guzzling huge amounts of booze like he used to. This morning I talked to him about being more supportive and not taking his crankiness out on me or shoving his drunkenness in my face. It’s triggering!!! I told him I need more support. We’ll see
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Old 06-26-2018, 07:26 AM
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I have to go to work and then we are driving all night till we get to camp so I love you all, hang in there everyone, and hold down the fort for me till I get back!
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Old 06-26-2018, 10:36 AM
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Have a great vacay Plenny! Looking forward to hearing about it when you're back!
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Old 06-26-2018, 01:36 PM
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Originally Posted by JayTee33 View Post
Oh, and GBE, I meant to say that I like your new avatar! Going to take some getting used to, I really identified you with your last avatar : P
That last one really cracked me up, shel silverstein being nonchalant but i was on shrooms when I took it and it seemed the appropriate time to change it. I was just at a loss when I joined what to use and since i rarely log into a computer, I kinda forgot that was what I had picked.
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Old 06-26-2018, 01:39 PM
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Omg Plenny you're already leaving??? 😢 have the best time and I'm glad you've got a team mate on your side. Have fun in the mountains, it is truly the most magical setting to be alive and sober. I hope DJTM can join you in some special clear headed moments.
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Old 06-26-2018, 01:42 PM
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Originally Posted by birdie11 View Post
Thanks for the welcome back! Today is my new Day 1. There was nothing that happened exactly that triggered me to drink. It was just another round of the same old cravings that hit me back at around the 2 month point. Day after day, it just felt endless. I was just tired I guess of the effort of beating them back. Still, it would have gone away eventually. It was just dumb of me. Dumb, dumb, dumb. But I am back and I am committed to racking up those sober days again. I will hit 104 again, and more. I just keep thinking that I can be 6 months sober at Christmas. Anyway, I'm going on vacation tomorrow for a couple weeks so I won't be around, but I will be sober!
Long term sobriety is the goal and you've got it in your sights! I feel terrified when my sponsor talks about how she had 7 years and relapsed for 6 months. No thank you. Anything anyone tells me about a relapse I take to heart very seriously. Yay a sober Christmas sounds alright to me goodness, you're leaving for vacation too?!? Have a good trip, enjoy yourself and remember how much hangovers suck!
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Old 06-26-2018, 04:06 PM
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Hi Birdie - I remember you, of course! Welcome back, glad you are here! Have a wonderful trip and we look forward to your return.

Plenny - same to you! Have a great vacation. Being unplugged for all that time sounds wonderful.

We will hold down the fort till you both return.

I’ll check back later - just wanted to tell you both to enjoy the vacations!
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Old 06-27-2018, 06:56 AM
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Got a spot of internet but it’s sucking my battery up so here I go everyone. Our schedule got a bit messed up but thanks for all the well wishes. I’m feeling pretty good about it all xoxo
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Old 06-27-2018, 09:22 AM
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Originally Posted by Plenny View Post
Got a spot of internet but it’s sucking my battery up so here I go everyone. Our schedule got a bit messed up but thanks for all the well wishes. I’m feeling pretty good about it all xoxo
If you go into little towns and have service and enough battery, let us know how it's going! I was only out of service for like 2 days and missed SR. Hope you have the best time xoxo
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Old 06-27-2018, 05:24 PM
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Nice day here. Didn't have anything at all to do. I got a pair of Chaco's on sale which I'm excited about breaking in. I got some groceries, went to the produce stand and avoided the urge to browse the antique stores. Now watching interstellar for the millionth time after a dinner of mashed potatoes with roasted zucchini, red peppers, green beans, cauliflower and sweet potato fries. Drinking the first flavor of La Croix I've ever liked; mango. Haven't picked up any ice cream lately which is probably doing us good. Nightly kava tea is becoming the routine. Hope you're all having a good night <3
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Old 06-27-2018, 07:20 PM
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I finally arrived at my next destination tonight several hours late again due to flight delays. But it turned out OK as the front desk clerk upgraded me to a room with a beautiful view of the water and didn’t charge me extra. I had a quick bite to eat at the bar where I drank a club soda and cranberry, cost of which was five dollars. Just insane. I forget where I was a week or so ago where club soda was free. Oh well it’s a resort hotel so I guess they can get it. I had a Shrimp Louie salad and it was very good.

All is well so far and I didn’t even have a single craving was sitting there. Not that I expected to. I probably should say there was no peer pressure there. Today was 7 days sober since climbing out of the drinking abyss that I fell into while on last weeks trip.

GBE, I like the Lacroix coconut flavor.
I have been doing really good with no sugar - I also have had no ice cream and certainly no peanut butter cups.
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Old 06-27-2018, 08:21 PM
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Congrats on a week LHW!! Certainly that merits a peanut butter cup or two if the mood should strike!

Sorry about all your flight delays. That has got to be a bit tiring. I hope you had a good book with you through that. Mmm a room with a view. I'm envisioning crystal blue water and tropical fruit breakfast, warm breezes and happy people everywhere. Hope you have a good day tomorrow!
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Old 06-27-2018, 08:28 PM
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I've been ill for a few days so my apologies. Gonna take me a while to go back and fill myself in, but I hope everyones doing ok

D
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Old 06-28-2018, 09:37 AM
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Hey all,

Having a good but busy week so far. Trying to get as much done as possible now, because over the long weekend (Canada Day weekend) it's supposed to be like 115 degrees here with the humidex! Ugh. Too hot for me.

Saturday should be interesting - awhile back I offered to take my friend's 3 young kids for a day because she and her hubby were looking a bit frazzled.
: P Well, Saturday is the day - herding 5 little kids all day! Fun times! : P
We're also picking up our Subaru Forester on Saturday, so that'll be nice. Good timing to finally have a car with AC again!

GBE your day yesterday sounds like my kind of day. I love antique shops (and garage sales, and other ways of treasure hunting amongst random junk : P) Congrats on resisting! BTW, are you vegetarian? Your veggie meals always sound great. My husband is vegetarian. We cook a lot of meatless meals so I like getting new ideas.

Plenny if you're out there, hope you're having great vacay! Birdie, how are you doing?

Dee, hope you feel better soon!

LHW hope your trip is still going well. Ugh to the flight delays, but sounds like you're rocking the week. Hope you're enjoying the room with a view!

Good on you guys for cutting the sugar. I went through a huge ice cream kick for a few weeks, but I'm trying to be better now..

Enjoy the rest of your day.

JT
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Old 06-28-2018, 02:07 PM
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Hi, have time for a quick post before needing to get ready for my business dinner tonight.

Has anyone experienced bad dreams or nightmares since they stopped drinking? This is a new one for me. The last seven or eight days I have had just horrible dreams. Where people are getting killed in front of my eyes, where friends have family members die, or where I have been accused of covering up a murder. Not just other peoples deaths or murders but also my own. Had one dream where I where I was drowning in a car that drove into a lake. Another dream I was trapped in a fire.

I know I am not a psychopath ( but just wondering where these dreams are coming from?
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Old 06-28-2018, 03:28 PM
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I have no idea where they come from in a scientific sense but I had terrible nightmares for a little while.

I'm sorry you're having them now LHW but they are very common and do fade in time

and no you're not a psychopath

D
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Old 06-28-2018, 05:51 PM
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JT, that is definitely too hot. I will stop being disgruntled with 92. Do you have something planned for Saturday? Maybe something that involves water?!

LHW, I had terrible nightmares as a child and always enjoyed the dreanless aspects of passed out sleep. Now that I'm sober again I have nightmares again. Many of mine are about drinking. I'm just hoping with time they will fade way to happier dreams.
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Old 06-28-2018, 06:51 PM
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Thanks Dee, GBE. I’ve had many starts and stops with the drinking over the years but the nightmares were a first. I’m looking forward to them going away soon.

I just came back from my business dinner and all was well. Lots of people were ordering their dirty martinis and wine and I ordered club soda with cranberry. Only one guy asked why I wasn’t having my usual drink and I just said I need to cut out on my sugar and starch consumption and all alcohol is just way too much sugar.

The guy (a partner whom I know fairly well) then promptly told the waiter not to bring me any bread and to substitute my carrots with something else. And when the chocolate peanut butter mousse dessert was placed in front of me he reached over and took it away so as not to tempt me. LOL LOL. Cracked me up.

I fly home tomorrow afternoon and I’m so looking forward to being in my own house and in my own bed for a few days. I am out traveling again mid next week but that is to visit my mother for her birthday, so just personal travel.
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Old 06-28-2018, 08:03 PM
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Cracked you up?!? I'd be like, you need to back up sir. I don't know how you feel about lying but I'd just say I'm on antibiotics and eat that whole dang pie. I'm kind of upset because that sounds BEYOND DELICIOUS.

Nightmares are a really awful thing to endure. I still lean on Tylenol pm occasionally just to have a hopefully dream less night. If I can't sleep when awoken from one I will come on here and browse the stickies again or "window" shop on Amazon. Sometimes I'll just go ahead and start my day. Take a shower to wash the bad dreams away.

I'm one chapter away from finishing my book. I am loving how it's wrapping up. I identify with so much of her story, it boggles my mind. It makes me wonder how many of us are all the same in certain ways. I do feel so disconnected right now with the world around me. I want to feel grounded and connected to my community but I don't at all. She talks about how difficult it was for the first few months, she would stay in a small closet in her NYC apartment to keep herself from going out. She also says how eventually there is a shift that happens, at least in her brain. Eventually alcohol becomes something you notice in the background but doesn't overwhelm you with want. No more craving or clawing (I prefer the term gnawing). Just a simple observation of its existence and nothing more. I cannot wait for that shift. I know I must always be vigilant and protective of my sobriety but I will be happy when I can go out and just be free from all the mental chains alcohol had on me. I can enjoy places without being bothered by the alcohol around me.

Anyways if anyone wants to read this, PM me and I will mail it to you. "Blackout: Remembering things I drank to Forget" by Sarah Hepola. Otherwise I'm going to put it on my sober IG for free.

Hope you're all having a lovely hope-filled night.
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