Class Of March 2018 Support Thread - Part 4
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Hi there everyone, it's been a loong time! I'm really sorry to have left you all in the dark about how I've been doing. I could go on for awhile, but long story short: you might remember that I was prepping for a surgery in October of last year. I went in at the end of the month, and things went south. I was released on the same day but ended up right back in the emergency room 4 days later. I got pretty seriously sick from surgery complications and needed emergency surgery to treat the complications. After surgery #2, I spent quite some time in hospital. Since then, I'm slowly starting to recover, both physically and mentally. I've thought about you all, but for whatever reason I didn't feel up to getting back on here, until now.
Well, lately I've felt like reconnecting, so here I am! I really hope that you're all doing well. I'm still sober, coming up on the 1 year mark. Beyond sobriety, I'm making some pretty significant life changes, including leaving my super high-pressure job and embarking on a new career path. Some days are good, some harder. Even on the hard days, I'm so glad that I've stayed on this path.
It seems that this thread is pretty quiet these days - GBE, Plenny, LHW and everyone else, I wish you all the best and hope to see you around here. I'll probably go check out the "under 1 year" or one of the other busier threads over the coming days.
Take care all!
JT
Well, lately I've felt like reconnecting, so here I am! I really hope that you're all doing well. I'm still sober, coming up on the 1 year mark. Beyond sobriety, I'm making some pretty significant life changes, including leaving my super high-pressure job and embarking on a new career path. Some days are good, some harder. Even on the hard days, I'm so glad that I've stayed on this path.
It seems that this thread is pretty quiet these days - GBE, Plenny, LHW and everyone else, I wish you all the best and hope to see you around here. I'll probably go check out the "under 1 year" or one of the other busier threads over the coming days.
Take care all!
JT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
JayTee! So good to hear from you! I am so sorry about your surgical complications! That sounds like a rough time. So glad you are healing and that you were sober throughout! It is definitely quiet in here hopefully because most of us are growing into our sobriety comfortably. I think about this class often and send you all good vibes. I am very excited to be celebrating one year with you all very soon <3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Thanks GBE! It's great to hear from you too! I'm happy to see you're still around the Forum and doing well. I celebrated one year last week - it wasn't something I wanted much fanfare for, but I did say a little private "yay!" to myself. Now it's all about keeping up the positive momentum and continuing to work on myself. GBE are you hanging out in some of the other threads? I'd like to keep up with you. Is Plenny still around? Take care and enjoy your weekend. JT
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: GA
Posts: 700
I havent talked to her recently but I get excited when she likes a post on my sober Instagram. 
love ya where ever ya are girl. Hope you and DJTM are well
today is one year I didnt plan on celebrating much since I spent all weekend at my grandmother's and I drove 6 hours home last night but we ended up treating ourselves anyways! A good motorcycle deal came up close to home and we scooped it up. I'm the proud owner of an 1986 Honda interceptor my bf drove it home and we stopped in a parking lot for me to practice real quick since its been months since his friend wrecked mine and I was just getting the hang of it back then.
The difference in anxiety levels was amazing. I remember trying to ride near the end of my drinking. Shaky, sweaty, nervous, hungover. Waiting for it to break down which it did often. Today we have a beautiful solid bike that runs pretty got dang well and fits me perfectly. It feels like the year of saying NO! to the AV over and over again is giving back to us today. We couldn't have afforded this a year ago even with tax refunds.
I know it's just the beginning of a very long journey but I'm excited to finally be on my way.
love ya where ever ya are girl. Hope you and DJTM are welltoday is one year
I didnt plan on celebrating much since I spent all weekend at my grandmother's and I drove 6 hours home last night but we ended up treating ourselves anyways! A good motorcycle deal came up close to home and we scooped it up. I'm the proud owner of an 1986 Honda interceptor my bf drove it home and we stopped in a parking lot for me to practice real quick since its been months since his friend wrecked mine and I was just getting the hang of it back then.The difference in anxiety levels was amazing. I remember trying to ride near the end of my drinking. Shaky, sweaty, nervous, hungover. Waiting for it to break down which it did often. Today we have a beautiful solid bike that runs pretty got dang well and fits me perfectly. It feels like the year of saying NO! to the AV over and over again is giving back to us today. We couldn't have afforded this a year ago even with tax refunds.
I know it's just the beginning of a very long journey but I'm excited to finally be on my way.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 2,737
WOW!
First of all, hi Jay Tee, I'm so glad you are getting through all of that and can make some positive changes.
Also, I'm blown away that y'all have mentioned me, I have been thinking of you all a lot, and climbing back into sobriety. I slipped way off after my scare last summer with my mother contacting me. I let it happen. I willed it to happen. I chose to do it. But it didn't help. Obviously. Nothing disastrous happened logistically, I didn't completely implode. But I was finally ready to clean out again and here I am to say hello, I'm safe, I'm trying again, I think of you all often, and I apologize for not letting you know I was ok.
I have been in an artistic blackout. Total non creation pretty much since the incident. Blood relations (abusers and enablers I have gone no contact with) have tried to contact me, but it only compounds the panic and trauma flare ups. It takes me a long time to recover from unwarranted and unwanted contact. I tried not to use it as an excuse to drink. But I did.
Basically I have just focused on my job and continuing to slowly climb out of my residual divorce debt from a few years ago. I am in the home stretch. This has been a long process, paying the price of freedom from a bad marriage. I have moved on emotionally and physically, but the financial scars remain. It's a chip on my shoulder, and the biggest task I have to complete. I resent it and I know I will feel finally free from that chapter when it's over.
Of course, I am still in my relationship with DJTM (DJ Trek Mix) even after even more fun surprises and hardships we faced through the winter. What a winter.
I found out that he had relapsed on drugs. This would have been a deal breaker if he didn't want help. He did want help. He did fear that I would leave him. He did stop, 4 months ago. I tried to put myself in his shoes and ask what would happen to me if my partner found out about my relapse and up and left. I would spiral out. I found that I still cared for him enough to be supportive and not kick an addict out in the cold. I rode in that cold in the middle of the night to talk personally to every acquaintance and drug dealer that I could think of who had any proximity to him or had possibly dabbled with him. I did not know what the results would be but I was blind with fear, rage, and concern. The results were positive. I collected information and I opened up and told them all, one by one, about our story. Each acquaintance/socially proximal individual apologized for not knowing that my partner was an addict who was trying to change. Each neighborhood dealer (who I spent hours with just talking about them and their own lives and problems) said they would leave us alone. The only reason I believe them is because I handled them with empathy and at the same time gathered a ton of personal information about them. I also was able to relate on a level that made them feel empathy toward us. This was a really difficult, risky, and emotionally taxing investment. I am aware that the results might not be permanent but I am willing to see if a little love and demonstrated care will help my partner to feel valued and see that it is possible to get to the other side.
We are moving in together in a couple of months. I can already see that he is excited and glad that it is finally happening. I truly believe that love and empathy can give us everything we've always wanted. Of course if the major issue flares up again and I am thusly put into an unsafe environment, I will have to go. This is the final experiment in this wonderful, complicated, surprising relationship.
Now, I am a week sober, drinking way too much coffee, eating pretty well, sleeping great, trying to focus on my goals. I am almost there with this big one and I can't wait to feel the ability to work towards all the other goals!
i love you all and have missed you
First of all, hi Jay Tee, I'm so glad you are getting through all of that and can make some positive changes.
Also, I'm blown away that y'all have mentioned me, I have been thinking of you all a lot, and climbing back into sobriety. I slipped way off after my scare last summer with my mother contacting me. I let it happen. I willed it to happen. I chose to do it. But it didn't help. Obviously. Nothing disastrous happened logistically, I didn't completely implode. But I was finally ready to clean out again and here I am to say hello, I'm safe, I'm trying again, I think of you all often, and I apologize for not letting you know I was ok.
I have been in an artistic blackout. Total non creation pretty much since the incident. Blood relations (abusers and enablers I have gone no contact with) have tried to contact me, but it only compounds the panic and trauma flare ups. It takes me a long time to recover from unwarranted and unwanted contact. I tried not to use it as an excuse to drink. But I did.
Basically I have just focused on my job and continuing to slowly climb out of my residual divorce debt from a few years ago. I am in the home stretch. This has been a long process, paying the price of freedom from a bad marriage. I have moved on emotionally and physically, but the financial scars remain. It's a chip on my shoulder, and the biggest task I have to complete. I resent it and I know I will feel finally free from that chapter when it's over.
Of course, I am still in my relationship with DJTM (DJ Trek Mix) even after even more fun surprises and hardships we faced through the winter. What a winter.
I found out that he had relapsed on drugs. This would have been a deal breaker if he didn't want help. He did want help. He did fear that I would leave him. He did stop, 4 months ago. I tried to put myself in his shoes and ask what would happen to me if my partner found out about my relapse and up and left. I would spiral out. I found that I still cared for him enough to be supportive and not kick an addict out in the cold. I rode in that cold in the middle of the night to talk personally to every acquaintance and drug dealer that I could think of who had any proximity to him or had possibly dabbled with him. I did not know what the results would be but I was blind with fear, rage, and concern. The results were positive. I collected information and I opened up and told them all, one by one, about our story. Each acquaintance/socially proximal individual apologized for not knowing that my partner was an addict who was trying to change. Each neighborhood dealer (who I spent hours with just talking about them and their own lives and problems) said they would leave us alone. The only reason I believe them is because I handled them with empathy and at the same time gathered a ton of personal information about them. I also was able to relate on a level that made them feel empathy toward us. This was a really difficult, risky, and emotionally taxing investment. I am aware that the results might not be permanent but I am willing to see if a little love and demonstrated care will help my partner to feel valued and see that it is possible to get to the other side.
We are moving in together in a couple of months. I can already see that he is excited and glad that it is finally happening. I truly believe that love and empathy can give us everything we've always wanted. Of course if the major issue flares up again and I am thusly put into an unsafe environment, I will have to go. This is the final experiment in this wonderful, complicated, surprising relationship.
Now, I am a week sober, drinking way too much coffee, eating pretty well, sleeping great, trying to focus on my goals. I am almost there with this big one and I can't wait to feel the ability to work towards all the other goals!
i love you all and have missed you
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Hey Plenny! So glad to see you back! I'm sorry to hear that you had some challenges with your family and your bf over the last few months, but it sounds like things are on a great trajectory now! Wishing you nothing but the best, and I hope your creative spark comes back soon. I've been in a similar creative slump lately, hoping to snap out of it when spring comes back and the days get longer. Winter's always hard for me. I'll write back with more later. Have a great night!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,824
Hi everyone! What a pleasant surprise to get a notification that there was activity on this thread. Congrats GBE and JT on your one year of sobriety! Way to go! Plenny, welcome back! Hi Dee!
A brief update on me. I also haven’t been on this site for a couple of months. I have been trying other forums and other means of finding a community that is supportive in this ever challenging endeavor. Not that I didn’t find SR supportive but sometimes you just need a change of scenery. I haven’t been 100% sober but I have not fallen down into the deep dark hole of no return. An occasional drink here and there, and it’s helping me get to the point where I am now saying why bother having one or two every couple weeks when I can I have just have zero.
Seems like the older I get the more stuff is starting to go wrong with my body. It’s hell getting old! Nothing major, I don’t think. I am having some medical tests done next week and I’m confident that everything will be fine. So is my doc but always best to get stuff checked out.
Anyway I hope everyone continues down this path and post some progress here once in a while. I’ll do the same.
All the best,
LHW
A brief update on me. I also haven’t been on this site for a couple of months. I have been trying other forums and other means of finding a community that is supportive in this ever challenging endeavor. Not that I didn’t find SR supportive but sometimes you just need a change of scenery. I haven’t been 100% sober but I have not fallen down into the deep dark hole of no return. An occasional drink here and there, and it’s helping me get to the point where I am now saying why bother having one or two every couple weeks when I can I have just have zero.
Seems like the older I get the more stuff is starting to go wrong with my body. It’s hell getting old! Nothing major, I don’t think. I am having some medical tests done next week and I’m confident that everything will be fine. So is my doc but always best to get stuff checked out.
Anyway I hope everyone continues down this path and post some progress here once in a while. I’ll do the same.
All the best,
LHW
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
LHW! Great to hear from you! It's like we're having a little reunion. Glad to hear that overall things are going well. I totally empathize when it comes to feeling like your warranty is expiring, I went through that over the last few years and just now starting to feel much better after surgery in October. Best of luck with your medical tests. Keep in touch!
JT
JT
Member
Join Date: Feb 2018
Location: Canada
Posts: 312
Hi all, I hope you're all still around and doing well. Just wanted to touch base and say hi. Spring is finally starting to look like it's going to show up some time here in the frozen North, the massive snowbanks are slowly receding. Dreaming of my garden. I've been doing ok. For some reason, around when I hit a year sober, I started to flash back to all the stupid things I did while drinking, and my "rock bottom" moment. Not sure why, maybe the anniversary just brought those thoughts on. Anyways, I've been working on accepting and not struggling with negative thoughts and emotions, but still a lot of work to do. Did anyone else go through this recently? Otherwise, things are going ok. Wishing you all well and thinking of you! Take care,
JT
JT
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,416
For some reasons anniversaries tend to do that jay tee - the early ones anyway.
The more years I'm sober the more I appreciate the value of living in the day.
The past is important, and I should never forget it, but it shouldn't weigh us down either. We're better than that now
D
The more years I'm sober the more I appreciate the value of living in the day.
The past is important, and I should never forget it, but it shouldn't weigh us down either. We're better than that now
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2017
Location: East Coast US
Posts: 1,824
I'm still around Jay Tee. I pop in and read every once in awhile, and am still set up to receive email notifications on this thread, so got yours this morning.
You are doing great and as Dee said, I am sure it's normal to have the thoughts you are having. I actually got a small notebook out recently and wrote down every seriously drunk episode I can remember going as far back as I can remember. All the way back to 2001 in one case! And to think these are the ones that I remember! I am sure there are plenty that I don't.
Talk about flashbacks and regret! Anyway, it helped me get to where I am now and that is ultimately making the decision that it is pointless to have a glass of wine every once in awhile like I have been doing for quite awhile now because it is just that...pointless. I am well aware that it wouldn't be too far down the road where the "every one in a while" got back to every couple of days and then every other day and then every day.
Everyone has his/her own way of walking down this path. While I am aware that there could be some who would be highly critical of my choices and method to get here, it seems to be working for me.
Keep checking back, I know I will.
LHW
You are doing great and as Dee said, I am sure it's normal to have the thoughts you are having. I actually got a small notebook out recently and wrote down every seriously drunk episode I can remember going as far back as I can remember. All the way back to 2001 in one case! And to think these are the ones that I remember! I am sure there are plenty that I don't.
Talk about flashbacks and regret! Anyway, it helped me get to where I am now and that is ultimately making the decision that it is pointless to have a glass of wine every once in awhile like I have been doing for quite awhile now because it is just that...pointless. I am well aware that it wouldn't be too far down the road where the "every one in a while" got back to every couple of days and then every other day and then every day.
Everyone has his/her own way of walking down this path. While I am aware that there could be some who would be highly critical of my choices and method to get here, it seems to be working for me.
Keep checking back, I know I will.
LHW
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