The Power Of Sobriety Thread (POST!) #4
Member
Join Date: Apr 2015
Location: California
Posts: 1,914
Hi!
Sorry to disappear on your all for a bit there. I got home from my work trip and was so sick of staring my computer 18 hours a day I decided to not look at it at all for a few weeks!
All is good though, just enjoying some time at home. Reading, relaxing, working out, etc.
I haven't caught up on threads yet but I hope you're all doing well!
Sorry to disappear on your all for a bit there. I got home from my work trip and was so sick of staring my computer 18 hours a day I decided to not look at it at all for a few weeks!
All is good though, just enjoying some time at home. Reading, relaxing, working out, etc.
I haven't caught up on threads yet but I hope you're all doing well!
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
Hi Site!
I'm pretty stressed. My stomach is bad -- not so bad as when I was drinking, but bad -- and I have this lymph node on my throat that's been swollen for 2 weeks. I'm thinking of taking my next project right off the list so I can rest a bit.
It's like "that girl" who nobody ever asked out, and then suddenly she has a date every night, and she doesn't want to say 'no' for fear of... what?
I'm pretty stressed. My stomach is bad -- not so bad as when I was drinking, but bad -- and I have this lymph node on my throat that's been swollen for 2 weeks. I'm thinking of taking my next project right off the list so I can rest a bit.
It's like "that girl" who nobody ever asked out, and then suddenly she has a date every night, and she doesn't want to say 'no' for fear of... what?
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Feeling pretty distraught this morning. The boss uncovered a pretty big mistake in the most recent book. It's something I should've caught, but didn't. He kind of blindsided me with it yesterday and we didn't have time to discuss it as they were busy tending to Fran. It's a key number that was changed for a previous book we did in March. I went back and changed all of the numbers back to what they should be, but must've forgot the most important one! I didn't sleep very well last night and am still kicking myself for missing it, it's just something I should've caught. Now, of course, the book is printed and it will be that way forever. I can fix it if we do an e-book version, so at least there's that. Maybe I'm just not cut out for this job anymore. I just want to crawl under a rock and hide. At least I didn't even think about getting drunk. Big deal.
Guest
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Ashburn, VA
Posts: 30,196
FBL, I access SR from a phone, so I can’t cut and paste the reply I just gave you on Overs—but I will say (and I’m also preaching to myself here): we can’t define ourselves by our talents and skills.
Our very identity shouldn’t be bound up in our joy and pride in performance, because errors like these inevitably happen to the most competent of people.
It is a very cool thing to exercise mechanical precision, and it is a gift that you’ve still got—but there is so much more to the depths of a person than the things we do: even if we never did or said another thing in our whole lives, we would still have immeasurable value.
Don’t sell yourself short. There’s more within you than I think you commonly acknowledge.
Our very identity shouldn’t be bound up in our joy and pride in performance, because errors like these inevitably happen to the most competent of people.
It is a very cool thing to exercise mechanical precision, and it is a gift that you’ve still got—but there is so much more to the depths of a person than the things we do: even if we never did or said another thing in our whole lives, we would still have immeasurable value.
Don’t sell yourself short. There’s more within you than I think you commonly acknowledge.
p***enger
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 19,044
FBL, I don't know if I already posted that my co-author found a big table error in a paper we published after it went to press. I just got the word that it's in print, and I didn't even want to look at it. So I sympathize. Those little switches back and forth when you have a template -- they're horrible to keep track of! 
Maybe on the website you can publish an erratum?
I think you're absolutely still cut out for work you are so highly skilled to do, and enjoy. One error -- whether it's 'important' or not, it's still just one -- does not make a failure. It makes a human. There was a lot of stuff going on during that production cycle. You all decided to push to keep the deadline and you brought it off -- that's amazing. Perfectly? That's taking on alcoholic-ish over-expectations.
Maybe on the website you can publish an erratum?
I think you're absolutely still cut out for work you are so highly skilled to do, and enjoy. One error -- whether it's 'important' or not, it's still just one -- does not make a failure. It makes a human. There was a lot of stuff going on during that production cycle. You all decided to push to keep the deadline and you brought it off -- that's amazing. Perfectly? That's taking on alcoholic-ish over-expectations.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New England, USA
Posts: 3,958
FBL - You need a big hug! One perfectionist type a alcoholic to another, everyone makes mistakes. Perfection isn’t possible, especially under a deadline. I think that the context of the error matters, too. Is it intentional? The result of negligence and excuses? Or an unintended mistake?
I heard some unsettling news that a mother of one of my older son’s former elementary school classmates took her own life. I didn’t know the family well, and this is not about me, but we were both stay at home moms around the same time, with kids the same age, going to the same classroom activities, etc. from preschool on, and I am angry at the deceased.
I know that some quiet time with my own thoughts will cast away my judgement and bring the light in, and Ill be free from this unneeded anger.
The entire process - from the willingness to be alone with my own uncomfortable thoughts, to the confidence that a little meditation will put them right, is such a gift. I am so thankful for recovery for offering this to me.
That’s why I keep showing up here.
I heard some unsettling news that a mother of one of my older son’s former elementary school classmates took her own life. I didn’t know the family well, and this is not about me, but we were both stay at home moms around the same time, with kids the same age, going to the same classroom activities, etc. from preschool on, and I am angry at the deceased.
I know that some quiet time with my own thoughts will cast away my judgement and bring the light in, and Ill be free from this unneeded anger.
The entire process - from the willingness to be alone with my own uncomfortable thoughts, to the confidence that a little meditation will put them right, is such a gift. I am so thankful for recovery for offering this to me.
That’s why I keep showing up here.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Hi gang!
Been following along but dealing with crazy work schedules and involved with a couple of friend's lives whom are trying to figure it out hasn't left me much time online.
Glee, I know how you feel, and have been in your shoes. I end up asking myself, "Why am I so angry" about the situation? I think it is simply watching people make the ultimate bad decision in their life that hits us hard. I have certainly had thoughts like this isn't worth it, or no one will miss me when I'm gone, while in heavy addiction. You know, and I know, that so much is possible once we can step above what is enslaving us mentally and emotionally. The frustration seeing someone not overcome their demons should not generate anger, but sympathy. Demons like addiction and mental illnesses often win in the end, and while our anger is justified in the short term, it benefits no one in the long run by being angry. I hope that a little meditation can put things right for you.
FBL, I hope that you are feeling better about things. Many decades ago, I worked with an older gentleman whom, when brought to account for a mistake, would come back with this rejoiner, "The last man who was perfect was hung on a cross." That is wrong on so many levels, but still makes me chuckle a bit when I find me beating myself up for making a mistake. It's now called a growth opportunity!
Have a great day all!
Been following along but dealing with crazy work schedules and involved with a couple of friend's lives whom are trying to figure it out hasn't left me much time online.
Glee, I know how you feel, and have been in your shoes. I end up asking myself, "Why am I so angry" about the situation? I think it is simply watching people make the ultimate bad decision in their life that hits us hard. I have certainly had thoughts like this isn't worth it, or no one will miss me when I'm gone, while in heavy addiction. You know, and I know, that so much is possible once we can step above what is enslaving us mentally and emotionally. The frustration seeing someone not overcome their demons should not generate anger, but sympathy. Demons like addiction and mental illnesses often win in the end, and while our anger is justified in the short term, it benefits no one in the long run by being angry. I hope that a little meditation can put things right for you.
FBL, I hope that you are feeling better about things. Many decades ago, I worked with an older gentleman whom, when brought to account for a mistake, would come back with this rejoiner, "The last man who was perfect was hung on a cross." That is wrong on so many levels, but still makes me chuckle a bit when I find me beating myself up for making a mistake. It's now called a growth opportunity!
Have a great day all!
non-drinker
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 13,841
Thanks again, everyone. It was an unintentional error, but one that I really should have caught. It will be corrected for the e-book edition. There will hopefully be another print edition in a few years and you can bet it will be fixed for that one. There are literally hundreds of thousands of numbers in that particular book, so I guess I should be proud that I got it 99.9999999% correct! I may stop beating myself up now.
Quit 4/17/15
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Pa
Posts: 15,180
Been awake since 2:30 though I don’t need to be up until 4:00.
Finally getting a killing frost here. I pulled the window AC units and packed them away yesterday. I can’t remember it being so warm so long into the fall.
Have a good day all!
Finally getting a killing frost here. I pulled the window AC units and packed them away yesterday. I can’t remember it being so warm so long into the fall.
Have a good day all!
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