Class of February 2017 Support Thread Part 5
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,477
I hope you take RGs post in the spirit in which its intended Axe.
This stuff destroys families, destroys careers, decimates futures - it kills.
In that light, destroying yourself, but not as bad as last week, doesn't make much sense.
You have to make change if you want change.
You can do a lot in a week.
Make this week the week
wishing the best for you too Vipe - and canguy too if you're around - and anyone lurking and struggling.
D
This stuff destroys families, destroys careers, decimates futures - it kills.
In that light, destroying yourself, but not as bad as last week, doesn't make much sense.
You have to make change if you want change.
You can do a lot in a week.
Make this week the week
wishing the best for you too Vipe - and canguy too if you're around - and anyone lurking and struggling.
D
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Wow Dau! WOW!!
Yes! I'm outta here. My friend isn't going to VT until Thursday and I felt a crunch to get out of here. My sister gets on her high horse and wants a family meeting about me or something. She ambushes me with a phone calls with multiple family members on the phone, etc. Its never helpful. But I realize I need to get moving. I can't stagnate like this.
Anyway I got a room in Burlington VT for 3 nights starting tomorrow. That will put me no more then an hour from my friend's cabin. The place gets 5 stars on TripAdvisor but it's a no amenity small place. No pool, no restaurant. NO BAR, etc. Just good clean modern rooms. And it's a 5 minute drive into Burlington or to lake Champlaign. The only thing anyone is going to know is I went to VT and I'm not contactable. I'll have to turn off the phone part of my iPhone for incoming calls. Dad is taking care of $. Thank god. A tank of gas and 3 nights.
I'll be posting from there and from no mans land when I drive into town for coffee when I get to my buddy's cabin.
Talk later.
V
Yes! I'm outta here. My friend isn't going to VT until Thursday and I felt a crunch to get out of here. My sister gets on her high horse and wants a family meeting about me or something. She ambushes me with a phone calls with multiple family members on the phone, etc. Its never helpful. But I realize I need to get moving. I can't stagnate like this.
Anyway I got a room in Burlington VT for 3 nights starting tomorrow. That will put me no more then an hour from my friend's cabin. The place gets 5 stars on TripAdvisor but it's a no amenity small place. No pool, no restaurant. NO BAR, etc. Just good clean modern rooms. And it's a 5 minute drive into Burlington or to lake Champlaign. The only thing anyone is going to know is I went to VT and I'm not contactable. I'll have to turn off the phone part of my iPhone for incoming calls. Dad is taking care of $. Thank god. A tank of gas and 3 nights.
I'll be posting from there and from no mans land when I drive into town for coffee when I get to my buddy's cabin.
Talk later.
V
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
Thanks Dee....still around.
Organising for Japan.....international driver licence. Driving in Tokyo is endless, the blinking GPS. In Japanese.
Don't know if this is gonna be too good as a sober thing. cangirl loves the izakayas....just wants to go out. What's the point of me coming up there if we aren't gonna get trashed.? ....it's ok with good food....chinese friends. Sober....I can do 90 minutes. But these things go for hours.....
Organising for Japan.....international driver licence. Driving in Tokyo is endless, the blinking GPS. In Japanese.
Don't know if this is gonna be too good as a sober thing. cangirl loves the izakayas....just wants to go out. What's the point of me coming up there if we aren't gonna get trashed.? ....it's ok with good food....chinese friends. Sober....I can do 90 minutes. But these things go for hours.....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2017
Posts: 252
Axeman, It sounds like you are going in the right direction.
Keep envisioning how great it will be to be free of this ball and chain!
Vipe, I think a change of scenery will be good for you. Hope it works out the way you plan.
Canguy,
It sounds like you feel like you will be powerless in the upcoming situation.
You have come so far since Feb. Don't do it!
Remember that your sobriety comes first before everything else. Guard it carefully as it is precious.
Maybe have a plan in place for what you will do when you are in that situation?
You can have a great time sober!
PC,
Sending strength your way to nip this in the bud.
Keep envisioning how great it will be to be free of this ball and chain!
Vipe, I think a change of scenery will be good for you. Hope it works out the way you plan.
Canguy,
Don't know if this is gonna be too good as a sober thing. cangirl loves the izakayas....just wants to go out. What's the point of me coming up there if we aren't gonna get trashed.? ....it's ok with good food....chinese friends. Sober....I can do 90 minutes. But these things go for hours.....
You have come so far since Feb. Don't do it!
Remember that your sobriety comes first before everything else. Guard it carefully as it is precious.
Maybe have a plan in place for what you will do when you are in that situation?
You can have a great time sober!
PC,
I've really got to get my head back into a good place. While I'm not drinking every day, it's starting to really creep back into my life.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
.....not powerless. But just way harder than it needs to be. There's a cultural thing, you're being hosted, refusing the 'conviviality' is a rudeness. It get this in a mail last night:
" And I think drink isn't a bad thing, you can enjoy it here then quit again when you home....alcohol would make you feel really free .... "
It's strange.....a society and culture in which manners and courtesy are so valued. Yet your choice or need can't be respected. But the individual choice isn't important. Its all about the group. Getting trashed together bonds the group.
I don't think going up there has been a good choice. I wanted a kind of retreat for a month, small place, study, walk, speak a little. Sounding now like its gonna be party up. I should have known......but thought maybe we could have a different kind of time to the past.
'Izakaya' is sort of 'drinking restaurant'. Not family places. They have girls, not prostitutes, hostesses, singers....often Filipinos. There is everything going to get the guys to spend. Some even have a dress shop, where the guy can buy his favourite girl a dress...then watch as she sings to him in it. Big status. Japanese aren't allowed to smoke outside in the nature....so smoking has to be indoors. Makes sense, right? So the air will be blue. It must be the last place in world where the restaurants are a good place to go to smoke. They don't like the cig butts in the street. In Tokyo there are special police to watch for open air smokers and there are stickers on the pavements telling you not to.
Anyway. The point is not travel stories...but think I've made a mistake with this.
Should have known. She came down here during one of my bouts of sobriety and it was a problem. The glass of wine being waved in your face...c'mon...have a drink with me.
I know.....should have stayed home. But here, I'm just cold and sick of solitary confinement. Want to go out to eat for a change. Live different. But not face down.
" And I think drink isn't a bad thing, you can enjoy it here then quit again when you home....alcohol would make you feel really free .... "
It's strange.....a society and culture in which manners and courtesy are so valued. Yet your choice or need can't be respected. But the individual choice isn't important. Its all about the group. Getting trashed together bonds the group.
I don't think going up there has been a good choice. I wanted a kind of retreat for a month, small place, study, walk, speak a little. Sounding now like its gonna be party up. I should have known......but thought maybe we could have a different kind of time to the past.
'Izakaya' is sort of 'drinking restaurant'. Not family places. They have girls, not prostitutes, hostesses, singers....often Filipinos. There is everything going to get the guys to spend. Some even have a dress shop, where the guy can buy his favourite girl a dress...then watch as she sings to him in it. Big status. Japanese aren't allowed to smoke outside in the nature....so smoking has to be indoors. Makes sense, right? So the air will be blue. It must be the last place in world where the restaurants are a good place to go to smoke. They don't like the cig butts in the street. In Tokyo there are special police to watch for open air smokers and there are stickers on the pavements telling you not to.
Anyway. The point is not travel stories...but think I've made a mistake with this.
Should have known. She came down here during one of my bouts of sobriety and it was a problem. The glass of wine being waved in your face...c'mon...have a drink with me.
I know.....should have stayed home. But here, I'm just cold and sick of solitary confinement. Want to go out to eat for a change. Live different. But not face down.
Guest
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 1,174
I've tried to explain to her. I put it simply.....alcohol is ok, makes me feel fine for a little, but then bad, try and laugh it off. But no...not drinking is a social fail.
I don't want to come across like I've been everywhereman, ....but not all Asia is like this. Thailand, my experience was that if you didn't drink.....great. Unusual for a westerner...but nice, different. The girls would talk to you more because they felt you were a easier guy. Japanese, Chinese.....drinkadrinka....Japan is a deeply alcoholic society I think. Life is so high pressure, so many people all crammed in together. Beer is considered a sort of adult soft drink and available 24/7 with packet snacks and newspapers.
I don't want to come across like I've been everywhereman, ....but not all Asia is like this. Thailand, my experience was that if you didn't drink.....great. Unusual for a westerner...but nice, different. The girls would talk to you more because they felt you were a easier guy. Japanese, Chinese.....drinkadrinka....Japan is a deeply alcoholic society I think. Life is so high pressure, so many people all crammed in together. Beer is considered a sort of adult soft drink and available 24/7 with packet snacks and newspapers.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Well I arrived stressed out. Decided that the place I made the reservation at, which WAS probably the best choice I could have made wasn't 'good enough' for no reason and ended up in a huge hotel nearby for more money. Plus the first place clipped me for 1 night for canceling. Now I'm in this sterile room wondering why the hell I even came here. I have a lot of anxiety. This is costing me a lot. The funding for it kind of fell through. So I'm anxious. But I'm not going to the bar. Don't feel like it.
I brought food and they were nice enough to bring up a little microwave for me. I'm here for 2 more nights no matter what because the non refundable rate was WAY less than the regular rate. They make it seem like the place is jammed, booked solid at these places and there is no one here. What are the rates when it's actually busy?
My buddy gets to his cabins Thursday.
I've talked to my sick friend a couple of times last night and today. Man. This sucks. At least the building superintendent cleaned her place. She's lying in an ER where they aren't going to do #%^*. It's terrible.
So I guess the deal is stay here and have peace and quiet and get snacks and stuff at the grocery store. It's a break from my routine. I gotta take a benzo and get in bed as soon as I get a FORK, not 5 knives for my food. Poor Asian guy that brought the microwave left with no tip.
Ok later on. No bar. Ecchhh.
V
I brought food and they were nice enough to bring up a little microwave for me. I'm here for 2 more nights no matter what because the non refundable rate was WAY less than the regular rate. They make it seem like the place is jammed, booked solid at these places and there is no one here. What are the rates when it's actually busy?
My buddy gets to his cabins Thursday.
I've talked to my sick friend a couple of times last night and today. Man. This sucks. At least the building superintendent cleaned her place. She's lying in an ER where they aren't going to do #%^*. It's terrible.
So I guess the deal is stay here and have peace and quiet and get snacks and stuff at the grocery store. It's a break from my routine. I gotta take a benzo and get in bed as soon as I get a FORK, not 5 knives for my food. Poor Asian guy that brought the microwave left with no tip.
Ok later on. No bar. Ecchhh.
V
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Northeast, US
Posts: 2,073
Just went to the bar for a fork. Dismal. I could smell the rubbing alcohol smell we've mentioned. Then there were a bunch of dudes looking at sports on TV getting there 'expense account' meals, friggin' petit filet and wild mushrooms, with either martinis or wine. No thanks.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Dau makes a good point about envisioning. Somewhere, and it may have been on the Rational Recovery site, I read that everything you see your life becoming, every dream, every goal, that's YOUR desire. Everything that postpones that is your addiction's desire. Dunno, it made sense to me at the time when I read it. Basically, each time you choose to drink you're putting yourself last (which, well ... duh) and choosing to commit a selfless act for an addiction which will never reciprocate or pay it forward. I think this is one of those times where it's completely okay to be selfish
Member
Join Date: Jan 2017
Location: North Carolina
Posts: 611
Vipe, I hate that anxious feeling on the first day of a trip. It's like you want to disrupt your routine, but then when you do ... I hope things settle out and you can enjoy the rest of it.
canguy, Japan -- can't even imagine. Hopefully things will settle out for you as well.
canguy, Japan -- can't even imagine. Hopefully things will settle out for you as well.
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